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  1. As a single mom, I find that being HONEST with my kids is best. Even as young as 3 and 4 children can understand when you say “mommy needs help, we have to work together as a team” or even “mommy is not feeling good, I am tired, can you go easy on me a little”. Of course its nobody’s “fault” that you are tired, or sick or hurting or overwhelmed, but those precious little hearts love you and WANT to help in any way they can. Sometimes just watching them make the effort (even if its fruitless) is all you need to keep going. And as they get older it becomes easier and they realize that ALL of us together make a family, and they become confident in their ability to contribute at home and in the world rather than insecure because daddy/mommy isn’t there to do the work for them. They aren’t waiting around for a “parent” to make things better they roll up their sleeves and help however they can. And seeing that feels GREAT. Mashallah, wal hadulillah wa Allahu Akbar.

  2. Assalaamu Alaykum Sister in Islam. I think that it should be mentioned that the most important thing a father can do is to respect and honour his children and his children’s mother whether he remains married to their mother or not. In most cases, the children are much much much better off in a holistic family with their mother alone or a remarried mother. Where the child receives love and care from both the mother and the stepfather rather than being in an abuse relationship where they witness disrespect from the father in most areas. Shukran for allowing comments to be posted. Wasalaam.

    • Wa Alaikum Salam Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatu Sister Sumaya,
      You are so true that fathers should respect their children’s mother whether married to her or not. This is very important. . Please excuse me if I neglected to convey this message. Jazakalakhair and Barakalafik for taking the time to write and for reminding us all about this important point.
      Your Sister in Islam,
      Grandma Jeddah

  3. Nice article – just one thing – girls can fish/fix cars and boys can knit/sew too! ;) I hope my (future) kids feel.comfortable to take up whatever (halal) hobby appeals to them iA.

  4. Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatu Sister Safura,

    You make a great point about being honest with the kids about how you feel. That is a calm and gentle way to convey your feelings to them rather than ranting. It presents a good example for them to model their own behavior after. May Allah continue to shower His blessings upon you and your family and bless you with the good of this world and the hereafter and protect you from the hellfire.

    Your Sister in Islam,
    Grandma Jeddah.

  5. A strong request to all Muslim ladies/single female parent: Never discard yor hijaab for the sake of any well paid job. Trust in Allah (Tawakull rala AllAH) and In Shaa Allah help will come from ways you did not imagine. Very interesting article – a must to all to read and grasp message.

    • Assalamu Alaikum Sister Rose,

      Jazakalakhair for bringing this point to the attention of the guests. May Allah bless many to benefit from it. Barakalafik.

      Your Sister in Islam,
      Grandma Jeddah

  6. Salamualaikum Sr. GrandmaJeddah,

    Thank you for this article, you made several very good points – I especially love number 4 and look forward to seeing the next article elaborate on that.

    I would like to offer some criticism though. I found the first point – stay married – extremely insensitive; the article’s title suggests that this is targeted toward single-parent households, which are households in which divorce or death of the spouse has already occurred. For someone in this situation to seek advice and then hear so much about how their family situation is not ideal feels like a slap in the face. Please notice that this point is the one that is written most about. Yes, there is an acknowledgment made that divorce is halal and occasionally preferable, and that acknowledgment is a step in the right direction, but please realize that it barely begins to scratch the surface in honoring the situation of single parent households and offering advice. Instead, the begining of the article invites self-hatred, regret, and questioning the qadr of Allah swt for those already in less-than-ideal situations, instead of encouraging them toward acceptance and a positive outlook for the future.

    Please don’t misunderstand me; your other points are all very good, relevant, and perhaps more profound than the short paragraphs dedicated to them suggest.

    If I am mistaken or have overlooked anything, please inform me. And Allah swt knows best.

  7. Wa Alaikum Salam Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatu Sister Hiba,

    Thank you so much and Jazakalakhair for your observation. You are absolutely right. Point number one was misplaced. I apologize for my remiss. May Allah forgive me for any insensitivities it may have caused anyone. May Allah help us all with our trials and difficulties. May He bless our tests to be a means of bringing us closer to Him and to be a means of entering Firdaus with no accounts at all.

    Your Sister in Islam,
    Grandma Jeddah

    • Jazaki Allah Khairan sister. I enjoyed your article and I ask Allah(swt) to reward you immensely. Although, I hoped to find some advise to divorced mothers and fathers in facilitating the child access for each other to allow children to be with the other missing parent in divorce situations. The child needs both parents in order to have a balanced life. I have seen first hand that the children are being used as bargaining chips in the hands of either parents. Especially here in America, the women are given full custody rights and the husband has only the weekends to be with his kids. That’s unfair and it doesn’t help the father to bond with his children. I’m divorced and I’m asking my ex to share custody with me for our 7.5 years boy. Even when my son asks her, she tells him that if he accepts shared time, she will NOT take him back! Inna lilAllahi wa inna elayhe rajuun. I wish to see a future article dedicated to this problem that we are seeing more and more in our ummah. What Islam says about rising the children in divorce situations? What the shariah of Allah(swt) and His Prophet (sAs) says? We need practical steps like the ones you have raised ma shaa Allah. Wa zjazakum Allah khayran

  8. Asalamu Alaykym. Great article.
    I feel so relieved and happy to ready through this article. Am married and i find it so uncomfortable to the fact that I have more time to be with our child and attend to his needs while my husband seems to be busy always that he cant find time for us even when we need him most. He able to honor other people and pay attention to them because he believes they make his day. His nature of work a business where he sell in a shop. So he lives home at 05:30hrs morning and comes back at 22:00hrs night when every one is sleeping.A week or two passes without seeing our child and the child has to stay awake up until 22hrs to see his father.
    I want to tress the point that fathers have a big role than just being disciplinarians in the home which they do not see as important most husbands feel that when they provide for the family then that all. With such kind of sharing please lets keep on encouraging our men fork that they also have a gift of caring and loving their children like most women do.
    Because of this many children have grown to know that life is like that.

    May Allah increase you in knowledge for many people to learn and move toward the desirable change.

    • Wa Alaikum Salam Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatu Sister Shareefa,

      Masha’Allah, I’m pleased to know you found benefit in the article. May Allah bless it to benefit many others, as well.. May He bless you and your family to be full of happiness, contentment, and taqua.

      Your Sister in Islam,
      Grandma Jeddah

  9. Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatu Sister Emaan,

    May Allah bless you and your family to be well and in strong iman. Please excuse me–which tips are you referring to? Jazakalakhair.

  10. Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatu.
    Thank you for the advice you have given in this article. However, I did feel the first few paragraphs were … insensitive.

    Although divorce may be most disliked but no matter what situation you are in, Alhamdulilla – there is nothing in this world that happens without the will of Allah (SWT).

    Regards

  11. Salam, I like the effort you are making to guide people to have peace and success under Islamic rules. Jazakallah. Although it is a good article I suggest that you include some more specific suggestions in it because it is too overly generalized . To be honest , mere mentioning that be kind to ex-wife or husband is not enough. You need to put suggestions on how people can remain kind to those who were bad to them. There need some practice tips. Also, I understand that many times it is Muslim ladies who r left with the kids but a lot of times men r also single fathers and are victims of in-kind behaviour of women. You would rather balance it out in the article. Thanks

  12. Alhumdullila so happy to have found this page that I’ve saved as a bookmark,
    I find as a single mum that special time with my child helps no matter how little but just the two of us uninterrupted time that is, regularly, allows me to tune into my child and learn more about them, and Praying.
    As hard as it gets, and I’m guilty of having weak times at this too, but each prayer assisted by your child matters. Even just being in the same room or watching you its so soothing and balancing not forgetting that children are great observers and mimics..also times spent listening to verses and recitations of the Quran brings peace and tranquility to the mind and the heart it is important to be healing and soothing to each other and more so to our children to process and accept life as beautifully as Allah has created it and that with its challenges, and support our children to go through this in a spiritual and peaceful manner that Islam does teach and go by too I believe that anything in life that is abused in its use becomes misuse therefore I love to remind myself that Allah did not make Islam complicated it’s more of a way of life to try and adapt in our everyday the best we can and I love the fact that we have so many resources to guide us in gaining knowledge of our religion I strongly believe that single parents who put their trust in God will not be raising their children alone 💕