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  1. ?????
    Absolutely beautiful read
    Life becomes so busy
    We may even live in the same house
    But often we forget those who really matter

    May Allah make all our parents happy with us inshaAllah x

  2. Assalaam walaikum,
    I’m Mohammad Zoya… I’m basically from a Hindu family, though after knowing about Allah I turned into Muslim I mean I got converted as of I was in love with a Muslim guy and finally im married to him. . I dint convert for him, instead I did it for my ownself as evryone know that Allah doesn’t need us, but we need Allah, now so I turned into muslim I’m not very much fond of Arabic, I don’t know how to read Quran in Arabic though I completed understanding and read whole quran only through its meaning, but the matter is I want to learn Quran and all surahs… Can u please help me reading quran in Arabic language and make me understand in proper way because I dint find any local tutorials in learning it… and I’m pregnant rite now carrying 3mnths baby in my womb and my pregnancy is in problem, I just want to learn Quran more by heart… Help Mee please!! Allah hafiz. .

    • Assalam alai kum Sis Zoya,

      ma shallah ! may Allah swt bless you for your strength of imaan ! and congratulations on your pregnancy.
      May Allah swt bless you and make it easy for you.

      dear sis, look for some local sisters who can help you read the Quran. Other than that, there are some courses being offered by Al Huda ( you can check them out on alhuda.pk) and there are videos on youtube and also a very good website tardeed.com. its also very good.

      May Allah swt help you and accept all your efforts amen

    • Assalam o alaikum sister Zoya,
      You could learn Quran and its tajweed from Hafiz Wisaam shareef on YouTube! May Allah preserve you Ameen.
      Waheeda Karim

  3. What a beautifully written article. For someone that has lost her mother to cancer, this touched my heart. Thank you for sharing this article.

    • aww sis, May Allah swt grant your mother the highest level in Jannah. and grant you sabr.

      Interestingly , I am suffering from Cancer too. :)

      May Allah swt grant all our sick shifa and patience.

      And may Allah swt make you a sadaqah e jaria for her ,
      xoxo
      Sana

  4. Dear Sister Sana

    Thank you for your beautiful writing as it really touches my heart. I’m a student and living abroad like 6600 miles away from my parents at the moment. I agree with your third points on showing them affection and care in every form. Back in home I always hug and kiss them before going out from the house. But now the long distances limit us to do that. Thus what I do is to give them a call before I go to sleep or in the morning so that they will feel at ease knowing that their daughter is okay…and of course sharing photos, stories, experiences with them is a must for me because they are my best friends forever and bestfriends share everything right!

  5. JazakAllah Sister….. It really is a beautiful piece of work. May Allah Help U n reward you much more than you deserve. And may u come up with many more beautiful strings of such words in the coming future. May Allah grant you success in the coming endeavours of your life…….

    • these are such beautiful duas i am humbled and overwhelmed.

      jzk for making them for me.

      May Allah accept it from me and help me do more.
      and may Allah swt reward you immensely for thinking about me .

      Sana

  6. JazaakAllah khair sister. U have reminded me of my responsibility of a daughter which I have not been performing well due to reasons that are not acceptable. Very truly we are among the blessed ones whose parents are with us and yet not able to make Allah taala happy is surely a matter of concern.may Allah taala give us taufeeq and good health to take care of our families and parents

    • its ok sis Fatima, we all fall short of our duties at times. its part of being human.
      Whats important is that we realize it and work to make the short comings :)

      i am happy that you found this useful.

      may Allah swt accept your good work and give you many opportunities to do more.

      ameen
      Sana

  7. Beautiful MashaAllah – lovely advise for those of us who are far away and feel guilty about not doing enough for our parents

  8. masha allah the blog iz comming up with unique and informative articles which we need to think upon but our bussy schedules nd love fr duniya iz preventing us to reach our ultimate goal the jannah its great to be with productive muslim community nd its our duty to invite more n more people for the goodness i thank my sister saba who recommended me to subscribe to this community thankoy

    • Yes, i agree with you, the world calls, but then its always our choice whether we want to answer it or not.

      May Allah swt enable us to balance the dunya and the akhirah amen

  9. It’s really true! Our parents deserve our attention just like what they’ve given to us in our lifetime. I just can’t stop feeling bittersweet because I realize that my parents are growing older and how little the time I spent with them lately. I always try to be cheerful and tell good news when my parents call me. And no matter how many times my parents talk about the same things, I always try to respond passionately. They just deserve it.
    I hope we can be good children and obey Allah words.
    Aamiin

    • Aww sis Diah, you are so sweet. yes they can say the same thing. I noticed it too as my mum grows older. Ma sha Allah you are so patient. May Allah swt bess you for this patience and good behaviour,

      and also give us the opportunity to serve them , amen

  10. Although I’m still 16 yrs old and don’t have a family of my own, this article is very beneficial and a helpful reminder. JazakAllah! May Allah help us serve our parents, Ameen.

  11. SubhanAllah! This post is so apt for me. I have a bad habit of getting annoyed, not listening about their interests etc. In shaa Allah, I shall try to instill this in ny life. May Allah guide us to the right path. Ameen. Thank you for the post :)

    • its ok sis Mariyam, we all do that some times and each time our parents forgive us. SubhanAllah. they are so merciful.

      May Allah swt accept all your efforts and guide you to be the best daughter to your parents .

      and unite you all in the akhirah and this dunya too.
      ameen

  12. To be honest, i didn’t agree with everything written in this article. I don’t understand why such articles about parents never mention the elephant in the room? I.e parents who keep inviting you to disobey Allah. My parents do this regularly. My parents (and i know that there are MANY parents like this) don’t understand much of Islam and instead follow innovations, cultural habits that go against the Quran, They mock the sunnah etc. And because they are older and grew up in a Muslim country (allthough wasen’t Islamic), they think they know everything while their adult children know nothing even tho our parents haven’t studied Islam nor did they ever break free from the wrong they were taught. They are simply too arrogant to correct themselves.

    It is impossible to please them without disobeying Allah and it’s impossible to excuse oneself from their wrongs without getting them angry.

    Another thing is how people always mention how good the parents were towards us when we were children to soften our hearts toward them now but many of us actually never got that luxury from our parents. Many of us were abused or otherwise oppressed by our parents.

    And when it comes to people recommending phone calls, i wonder how is a phone call with awkward silence going to help anything or anyone? You cant just assume that everyone has parents that have had a good relationship with their kids and taught them how to speak with them. We are many out there who never got this opportunity from our parents.

    As for dua, well allah knows a sincere dua from a insincere one. How sincere is a dua asking Allah to forgive a father who has done all kinds of evils towards his family and spread lies about Islam, misguided people etc as an example? How can you ask Allah to forgive him when you know very well that he doesn’t deserve it because he hasen’t repented?

    We have a generation of parents in many muslim countries who do shirk and refuse to stop. If they die, shall we ask Allah to forgive them?

    Yes there is a elephant in the room and people don’t talk about it which ultimately leaves their advice useless for many of us because we don’t have a situation where we can apply the advice.

    • Salams sister,

      That’s the whole point fundamentally we shouldn’t be respectful to parents because they deserve it, it’s ultimately a command from Allah. You can’t control, and therefore, aren’t responsible for how your parents treat you, but you are with regards to how you treat them, because that’s the duty Allah entrusted with you with. On the day of judgement, Allah will only judge you based on how you handled your parents and whether you upheld your end of the bargain. You reckon Allah doesn’t know how difficult your parents are? That’s the test he’s burdened you with and so how you react to it will determine whether you succeed. And so by tolerating your parents to the best of your ability in your situation, this is truly what it means to do something for the sake of Allah. You wouldn’t give your parents this treatment, except for the fact that you love and want to obey Allah, and so you’re doing it for Him. That’s your motivation so never let it slip from your heart.

      Additionally, Allah has provided us with the perfect example of this situation in the story of prophet Ibrahim (AS). As I’m sure you are aware, his father worshipped idols, and so absorbed in the culture of his predecessors, he was too narrow minded to heed the truth of his son’s call to Tawhid. You reckon your parents don’t respect your opinion? His dad attempted to burn him alive for it! And yet not once did Ibrahim rise up in indignation against him. In fact he even responded to his father’s death threats with “Peace will be upon you. I will ask forgiveness for you of my Lord. Indeed, He is ever gracious to me.” (Qur’an 19:47).

      Now I certainly don’t expect any of us to be at this level of Iman as to react in such a compassionate way. Believe me, I am struggling with a father similar to your description and I know I can only aspire to acquire such patience with him. But that’s the point, as long as we attempt to not give up and keep trying to be even a fraction of the person prophet Ibrahim (AS) was with his father, Allah will reward us based on our intentions, not the result. Sometimes I feel insincere asking for forgiveness for my father and that’s natural. Being human, when we can’t find it in our hearts to forgive, Allah is the most merciful and He has the capacity to forgive what we can’t so don’t worry. Even without your dua, if Allah believes they are worthy of forgiveness, He will forgive. So instead I ask Allah to allow my father to see the errors in his beliefs and to clear his heart of the ignorance of culture. Never believe it’s too late or too out of character for your parents to have a change of heart, if Allah wills it, IT WILL HAPPEN. Whether my father ever does is then up to Allah I am not responsible for my father’s actions, so don’t make your parents’ short comings your burden to bear. Remember it’s about the effort you make, the results aren’t in your control, so stop worrying about whether anything will change or not.

      So in conclusion, nobody is saying you have to force yourself to play happy families, because that’s not the stage our families are at. What you can do is make sure things certainly don’t get worse as a result of your actions. If they want to be angry with you, that’s their choice, you respond with as much patience and tolerance as you can because that’s the best you can do. And Allah will know if you’re trying your best and He will acknowledge that.

      Keep strong sister you can get through this because even though no one else may truly understand, Allah’s got your back and I’m rooting for you :D

      • Dearest Sis Ukht,

        I hear you and understand and feel your pain and point of view.
        I too witness such parents that in their ignorance, compel children to do things that displease Allah swt, even though the children don’t want to do it.

        But dear Sis, its a test from Allah swt. As long as the children have in their hearts to follow the commands of Allah swt then its all right.for they will be rewarded for their patience and what good is meant for them , will make its way to them.
        All they need to do is, seek help through patience and prayer.

        Dear sis, parents are so simple humans. They have weaknesses like all others, They make mistakes too. Yes those mistakes have grave results for the children, and yet, Allah swt in His infinite mercy, some how fixes those results and mends broken hearts.

        So no matter how awkward that phone call is, if the phone cals keep on going, in sha Allah , the awkwardness will go away.

        It all starts will forgiveness.:)

        my duas are with you and those of my sisters who are in this state. You are not alone. And I know that you will can do it and I am so proud of you for trying.

        May Allah swt elevate your status and accept the good that you do.

        Your Sister,

        Sana

      • Dearest Sis Sara,

        ma sha Allah, Allah swt has blessed you with such wisdom and a big heart.

        you said is so beautifully and aptly.

        may Allah swt accept your good acts and reward you many times over for it

        xoxoxo

        Sana

        • Yes dear sister Sara such great advice and wisdom jazakum Allahu khairan I have saved your comments for future reference and reminder. It was a much needed reminder. And dear sister Ukt I can understand your pain and frustration May Allah help all of us to honor our parents and obey Allah with beautiful patience ameen

  13. Jazakoum Allah Khair. for this very useful article.
    Regarding dua for parents, i was talking with freind of mine about dua, and he told me that he neve make a dua without mentioning his parents. He always mention them in his dua before himself, even sometime he is concentating on his parents in his dua to the degree that he forget to make dua for himself. What a such good muslim is he.! May Allah (Azza wa jalla) bless him a lot and help us to be more rightous muslims.

    • W iyaaki Brother,

      ma sha Allah, that is such a good thought.

      May Allah swt reward this brother and enable all of us to remember our parents in dua always.

      Sana

  14. Jazakallah for a very good article .
    this is to read and practise.
    I feel as daughters;Allah give us toufiq and resources;we all should try and take our parents to Umrah .
    This would be a great gift ;when we are able to go on a spiritual journey with our parents.
    May Allah in his countless bounties give us this gift to be abke to give to it patents.
    Ameen

  15. “Do you feel that bittersweet emotion of being a daughter too? On one hand, daughters can be more of a friend and confidante to parents than sons, but on the other hand, we feel sad because of our inability to live and serve them freely due to the responsibilities we have towards our husbands and children. But there is no need to despair, sister!”

    You just said what my heart was aching about. I feel very sad that as a wife and mother and living far away from my parents I really can’t serve them freely or as much as I want to. I wish to give them the best of gifts but I’m a stay at home mom and even though I have a very kind husband I still can’t ignore the fact that as a female I’m so dependent that I can’t freely spend on my parents like sons can do. It’s hard being a woman but that’s the qadr of Allah. Unfortunately, that’s the very reason some parents prefer male children.

    • absolutely true sister.. i am also a stay at home mom of two. i want to give the best gift of this world to my parents..but i cant.. just daily i am praying to allah swt that somehow my parents wish of going to haj may fulfilled.. m the only child to them…. i am living far miles away from them.. really sometimes my heart cries for not doing anything to my parents..

      • my heart aches because I am so far from my mother. and yet i accept the decree of Allah swt.
        may Allah swt join us all with our parents in Jannah

        ameen

        Sana

  16. Assalamualaikum.i want to tell you something.i feel ashamed and embarassed coz being a girl I behaved very rudely n proudly with them.the two important jewels of my life.this anger is ridiculous it takes you to levels you don’t want to.i have understood why they tell me not to do so n so.i promise n pray Insha’Allah that I be extremely noble n pleasing to them n others too.I have decided that I will go and apologise to them wholeheartedly .but I wish n pray that they forgive me.please pray for me too.i was too upset coz of exams my preparation but now no more that.plz pray for me……thank you so much for article.since yesterday night I was very disturbed n this really calmed me down ………thankyou…..

  17. Ur article has moved me coz I indeed was thinking how to go before them.m bad daughter.m really feeling too bad now to go before them……..how will they forgive me…….

    • dear sis Sahreen,

      never fear going to your parents> if ever there will be a person who will love you selflessley and unconditionally, it is your parents.

      if your heart was troubled, then it was Allah swt gently prodding you to go there.
      And if this article soothed your aching heart, then it is a sign from Allah swt that He wants you to just go to them.

      Its ok, we all make mistakes . :) Don’t worry. Your love for them is more than your mistakes.

      Forget them and hug your parents. All will be well
      in sha Allah

      xoxo
      sana

  18. Asalamu alaykun Sis Sana Gul, beautiful piece on how to comfort our parents in this age of busy life. Thanks for helping us to earn the favour of our Lord by keeping our duties to our parents.

  19. Alhamdulillah for the blessing of islam and for our parents. May Allah forgive the dead among them n bless the living. Talking about elephant in the room as mentioned by ukht,first i want us to kniw that our guidance n correct understanding of islam is not our doing but the meecy of Allah on us, thus it is not their fault that they (elwphants in tge room) are what they are. Secondly, we remember the seerah of companions that went thru hell in the hands of their parents cos they accepted islam n how the proph SAW used to teach them to be good abd kind to them n ro always pray to Allah to guide them. Also how SAW strived on the soul of his uncle who did not accept islam before Allah told him that his is just to warn.
    So we should consider the fact that we want to obey Allahs command as regards dealing with parents regardless of their own attitude. And also as tawasul so that we will have ritgheous children that will fulfill these rights upon us too. May Allah unite us with our family together with the righteous in paradise. Amin

    • I didn’t say that it is our doing. However articles dealing with parents at a time when Muslim parents are the ones who in the name of Islam tell their children to disobey Allah should mention this elephant in the room. The sahabah had to deal with parents who were mushrikeen, they didnt mislead in thr name of Islam. The sahaba also had the Prophet sallalahu aleyhi wassalam to turn to and a united community so it can’t be compared to todays situation where parents order their children to do haram while telling them it’s not haram because they follow culture instead of the Quran and the Sunnah. Sisters especially are living in danger of losing their religion due to their parents because they can neither move out nor get married to a religious Muslim guy who follows the religion like he should. If she would suggest such a man, her parents will reject him and call him extremist because he has a beard or doesnt listen to music.

      There is an urgent need to talk about this. Many are actually disobeying Allah for the sake of obeying their parents.

      Obedience to parents is not to be at the cost of Islam nor do i know of any saheeh hadith that links your own behaviour towards parents with how you will be treated by your own kids. Whatever the case, that is not the point here, the point is to save one’s relationship with Allah which many of us cant do if we are to obey our parents who keep inviting us to evil.

      Making dua for them or treating them good without disobeying Allah is not my issue here.

      • Dear Sis Ukht, I understand the urgency of what what you are saying and also feel so touched by your concern.

        And i think some thing should be done to provide them with a support system.

        Let’s see in sha Allah Productive Muslim will come up with some thing soon.

        Hang in there Sister.

  20. Assalamualikum,
    MashaAllah a very article,We will all follow the same path of time as our Parents.But realizing the affection required
    by parents and imagining ourselves in their shoes and Can only be Allah’s Grace.As rightly said “A parent can take care of 10 kids,And 10 kids may not justify the same.”

  21. Salam. This article touched my heart. I always think of my parents everyday and how I wish I was living in the same city as them so I could be there for them.
    Jazakallah

    • Salam sister sana..
      Very happy to read your message..
      May Allah swt give all daughters a chance to serve their parents in the best manner..
      I don’t get much of a chance to catch up with my parents although we live in the same city.. rules made by my in laws…
      But I try my best to serve n love them my parents when i get a chance to meet them…
      Plss remember me in ur prayers

      • Oh dear sister you should try your best to negotiate with your husband to see your parents often- your in laws have no right to make those rules. For you your parents deserve precedence and not someone else’s . I by no means encouraging disrespecting your in laws but they should do their part and not create unnecessary restraints on you. You should definitely talk to your husband honestly and openly with good intentions and courtesy. You need to initiate this otherwise things might get more difficult in the future. May Allah help you ameen. Hope your husband is considerate and of good nature. Btw standing up for yourself is also exercising sabr. Sabr is not just a passive endurance but an active one too.

        • I wish there was a LIKE button Sis Aasia,

          THUMBS UP to what you said, Each word.
          It’s time we educated ourselves about the true rules of a married life.

          may Allah swt help Sis Ayesha, and those who suffer like that.
          ameen

          • Could we possibly have an article on the true rules of marriage since I feel women, particularly south asian women (I am one) are unaware of what Islam has to say which is very different from the cultural restrictions. I understand that it may be out of Productive Muslim’s remit since it is more of a fiqh issue but since there is such a large worldwide following this would be an excellent way to reach out to sisters who may have no other means to seek this knowledge.
            Jzk

  22. Assalaam Walaikum,

    I’m not feeling well at all, nausea vomiting headache and m havn problem of kidney stones ,doctor said it may cause difficult for carrying baby.. my mother in law asked me to read quran but m unable to as I couldn’t concentrate and if I switch to the option of audio quran then with the sound going thru my eardrums u I get vomits.. I couldn’t bear any kind of sounds or smell, it’s becoming day by day very much tuff for me so I keep reciting Atul Qursi for whole day till night. . I feel so much irritated, I can’t hold on quran or my phone for long time to read it. . And seriously bcz of my problems I’m unable to read neither understand quran… Allah kasam I really want to read and understand quran but I’m unable to …. :'(
    I cry alott .. I dnno for what but I just cry saying Allah please help me please help me… :'(

  23. AssalamuAlaikum
    Reading this article just made me recall and regret what I did (ei, getting impatient, not pleasing them enough, etc)… But thinking about all that made me decide to learn from my mistake (by following these tips) I thank you so much for sharing us those tips. Jazaki Allah Khair. Sr. Sana

  24. Salamu alaykum Sis. Sana
    Well, this is actually a very nice article cos it made me remember all my past bad attitudes toward my mom when I’ll stamped my foot, answer her after calling me thrice.
    Though, she’s the only parent I got & am not really close to her cos I spent 6 years of my teen life in a boarding school- but am improving on that.
    I’m presently in university and quite far away from her. I only call her when am in need of money or advice and it’s mostly once or twice in a week or fortnight.
    It’s not like I don’t love her-no- I really really love my mom but the problem is- she’s an old-fashioned woman so e-mails $ social media wont just work with her.
    l really want to be a good daughter to her & she always says my sister is better than me and I get jealous & mad at her.
    Pls, what can I do to improve my relationship with my mom and be the best daughter to her?

    • dear sis , its ok

      we all make mistakes
      whats important is that we stand up to them and fix them now
      So, fix it :)
      call her more often, just to ask her how she is, or how her day was. A call from you will light up her day.
      make dua for her, ask Allah swt to show you ways to make it up to her

      it will be alright dear sis,

      xoxox
      Sana

  25. This is vry vry brautiful article..since i m a hostellite..i want to remain in contact wid my parents…these bautiful points will b so helpful to me?

  26. Asalamu alikum warhmatullah ……Jazakillah. ……n may Allah azzowajal bless ol d members of productive Muslim. …..n help them to aware ol d Muslim youth abt Islam
    Actually I m sooooo short tempered n I often shout vd.my parents but I luv them a lot n I also miss them coz I study far from them ……..sooooo plz pray for.me so dat I obey parents……..

  27. Thank you so much for this piece. It was very enlightening and motivating. And I’m usually a silent reader, but now I’m asking that there’ll be more articles on treating your parents etc. It would mean a lot to me as this is one of my biggest struggles in life. The articles can serve as a reminder for me and something I can turn to if we ever fight (which I hope will not happen). Thanks again and I hope you put my suggestion into consideration.

    • A salaam alaykym dear sister Amreen- you can ask or search islam web and islamqa for more detailed answers. Also I think in terms of relationships it is important to establish boundaries so that ones rights are not violated but at the same time good intention, good will and desire to keep good relations should be kept in mind always – that for the sake of Allah we are here to do good to ourselves and others by honoring the relationships.
      Establishing boundaries takes courage and is not easy. if you after sound knowledge and advice can break the ice ( or melt it even better) that would be best. Such initiative requires some thought and knowledge regards to communication, interdependence and honesty and what not in between. May Allah help you and guide you to that which will ease your affairs. If your husband is empathetic towards your situation then start with him- he is your best support after Allah. Please take my advice as a sincere suggestion – if it suited to your situation then have it in mind and if not then I hope you find useful info somewhere else, ameen.

  28. Assalamalikum, JAzakallah khair for this article! It reminded me about one of my friends. She sends nearly every pic she has to her parents (she is working in USA while her parents are in her homeland) and she tells whatever she is going and whatever she is doing. MashaAllah. Once again thank you

  29. Sana, this is a beautiful and enlightening article. It’s a known fact that we need to care for our parents, but many of us don’t know how or forget about it the rush of our day to day lives. Your suggestions are very practical and doable and inspiring as well! I already send my Mom pictures on Whatsapp, just to keep her in the loop about her grandson’s antics! Thank you Sana, and I wish you the best of health and happiness. May God bless you and your family!!

  30. Assalamu alaikum,

    Barakallahu fiyki dear sister for this inspiring article. I think everyone including men, who have read this article, immensely benefiits from it. You wouldnt know/appreciate the importance of your parents until you loose them. Loosing them (when they die) is not simply a physical loss but loss in terms of their du’a and counselling. Eventhough I am not a young man I actually felt like the socalled ‘motherless baby’ when I lost my mother last year.
    I found that parents do not, infact, need much from their children apart from simple gestures of love/concern especially when you live apart (more so when you live in the same town/city). I live and work in a different city from my parents’ (some 300 odd kilimeters away) but I visit them each fortnight. I would buy some basic things they need. Importantly however I established a routine of calling them, on phone, daily after fajr prayers. It was difficult at first but with little determination it became easy and enjoyable for me to do. My parents always look forward to this moment. I would normally ask how they are and if there are anything disturbing them etc. If I fail to call for any reason my father would call after like an hour of the normal time to inquire if there was a problem. Honestly I realised they enjoy more from that habit than I actually could realise.
    Only you have your parents so treat them well while they live for sooner or later one of you will leave the other. Then, ofcourse, the missing/regret will start. Ad-infinitum.