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  1. As Salaamualaikum dear brothers and sisters
    I am a Doctoora and practice Islamic and Chinese Medicine and also have in-depth knowledge of western medicine, however I choose not to practice western medicine.
    I treat women only due to religious obligations being a female doctoora.

    I treat on average 30 women every month who walk through my doors due to fertility issue. Dealing with fertility is not a complex issue like any sickness such as cancer, Parkinson’s etc once you understand the body. And as our glorious Qur’an states, there is a cure for absolutely every disease.

    Normally with fertility it is the woman who always makes the effort on seeking treatment. What you will find even though western doctors may claim that the male is fine, they are incorrect. 99.9% of the time when there is a miscarriage or pregnancy related problems, it is actually due to faulty sperm.
    When I treat my patients I always tell the patient that her husband must get treated too.

    I strongly advise sisters too that emotions are number 1 cause of any disease. When you cannot get pregnant you get even more emotional causing further damage. Therefore I request sisters have Sabr and faith in Allah. There may be a reason why you cannot get pregnant, perhaps a child is no good for you or your current situation, if it’s meant to happen Allah will make it happen in His own time. There is wisdom behind absolutely everything. If Allah gives you what you ask for say Alhamdulillah once but if He does not give you what you want say Alhamdulillah 10 times.

    Allah knows best what is best for you and when.

    • Aselam Aleykum Jahanar. First of all thank you for the post. Me and my wife after trying naturally for 3 years. The doctors told us uknown infertility so they advised us to go for IVF. but still the IVF did not work for us. Now we are thinking whether to go for second IVF or to try naturally as my wife found out that all the IVF process is torturing. Is there any means you can help us. I mean how we can contact you? Thanks

  2. Dear Productive team,

    Thank you for always taking the time to help others : )

    I am Resma, married for 10 years and have a 7 years old twin lovely bouncy boys. I was childless for 3 years and it was a horrid period, to say the least.

    My Iman was tested but alhamdulilah with many many prayers, my marriage remained strong and eventually we conceived with assisted technology (IVF).

    As for productivity, alhamdulilah, I achieved many things while waiting to be a parent. One of which was to complete my Masters in Science Communication. It was a wonderful period of my life and i look forward to doing a doctorate but for now, my lovely sons are my focus.

    My mother wasn’t very happy when I embarked on my studies as she felt that I should be focused on trying to conceive. Alhamdulilah I managed to convince her that Masters is a good professional development for me and insyallah, when I become a mummy. Educated mummies can enhance the physical/social/intellectual and spiritual development of their progeny significantly!

    If there are other couples who would like to speak to me, I’d be happy to share : )

  3. Dear Sirs,

    Am 35 years old lady not married, reading this article boasted my fear not having children .

    Please everyone Make Duaa for me to have blessed marriage & children

  4. Salam,

    My husband and I were married for almost six years before we had our first child. I went to further my studies and was pregnant with our first child at the end of my first year doing PhD. Alhamdulillah, a year and a half after our first child was born, we had twin boys. It was a huge learning curve for us from being two to five within a span of two years. Fortunately, we have our family members to help out.
    During our childless period, we occupied ourselves with a lot of activities that we believe cannot be done if we had a child. I always remind myself of the story of the Prophet Ibrahim and Zakariya whom were tested for a long time being in a childless marriage.
    Now, having three sons and going to have another one soon, after more than 12 years of marriage, I always remind myself and my husband to be thankful and grateful to Allah for all the blessings that he has bestowed upon us.
    For my friends who are not married, i always tell them that they have the opportunity to serve their parents and the society. That is their way to enter jannah.
    For my friends who are married but do not yet have any children, they are blessed having a partner and the time that they can use to serve Allah, their family members and the members of the society.
    One of the most important thing is keep on praying to Allah and never think that the state of childlessness is a punishment from Allah because there are prophets who had similar situations and they steadfastly pray to Allah.

  5. You are focussing on married couples. However what about those who are still to be married? For whom their fertility window is about to draw to a close within a few years and still no prospects of marriage. That is an even deeper hole to drag yourself out of, each day. At least within marriage you are able to try.

  6. You are focussing on married couples. However what about those who are still to be married? For whom their fertility window is about to draw to a close within a few years and still no prospects of marriage. That is an even deeper hole to drag yourself out of, each day. At least within marriage you are able to try. There is no aspect of coping with it. You just carry on in the hope that some miracle will appear and all the while time races past. You convince yourself that this is what is meant to be … But it doesn’t rid you of the feeling in the pit of your stomach. You emerge yourself in career but that only perpetuates the vicious cycle you are in. Is anyone else in this situation able to cope better?

    • Dear brother or I am guessing you are a sister as I am a female

      I will relate my story to you
      I got married at the age of 31 which in my Pakistani mother’s world was a far far cry from being married ‘on time’
      Before marriage and upon meeting my husband (who was divorced and roughly 7yrs older than me), we agreed we were ready for children
      As we married, he refused to tryfor children due to some issue he had that he was not ready to deal with
      5 years passed. I felt hopeless and was ready to leave him as my biggest reason for marriage was children. I sought help and managed to convince my reluctant husband to seek medical help with me. I think he was finally convinced as his younger siblings were having children and he for the first time felt pressure from his parents. I waited all those years for him. Allah taught me humility in front of others who were putting me down due to them having children. I kept my head down & busied myself with my studies although I was not psychologically ‘in the zone’ for studying. I cried for days on end. His family knew my feeling and pretended they did not hear or feel my tears. My personality changed.
      Through treatment and of course only by Allah’s grace we had a daughter after about 5 yrs of marriage. Still, many were happy it was not a boy. Subhan’Allah. You can never win. Alhamdulillah I say for every moment gone and for all that I went through and I’m sure my husband did too
      I am now expecting again and Allah knows best that we are grateful. We do not know if it is a boy or a girl. Frankly, we are grateful that within about 6yrs of our marriage, Allah will have graced us with 2 healthy children insh’Allah

      Please please do not think that you will just automatically get into trying as you get married. We live in a crazy world with weird issues facing us esp if we have a muslim background and grown up in the west. May Allah guide you & give you the best. Never despair in Him. Keep praying to Him and ask others (people in your circle of trust) to pray for you. Keep doing good and I believe one day someone’s duaa will be accepted for you.

  7. Salam alaikom

    Ma sha Allah another productive topic!

    Myself personally I am currently unmarried and would love to start a progeny, in order to have ultimately more company in sha Allah in jannah assuming I get there and them too of course!
    On that note I understand that as muslims we are supposed to be optimistic in order to find the good, as our beloved (peace upon him) instructed us! Saying that I know I am not currently married, but even with that thought and the subject at hand, I feel like it might be a bit a little unproductive for my current situation! Also at the same time, I understand that it might be the only solution to productivity! Sorry if that’s not too clear!

    In the attached survey, I could personally probably add under ‘other’ for reasons would be that, as I was previously married, would be that the other half was younger and career minded and not really knowing what they really wanted out of life at the time!

    Finally I would like to add, with out giving them the eye, that I know of and have seen families with children, who are extremely productive, happy and who are an inspiration to be like! Allahoma give them baraka in dunyia and akirah in sha Allah!

    As this is my first time to leave a comment, please forgive me if I waffled on by any means and I hope my little contribution helps me and anybody else in a way be productive and at least motivated God willing!

    May we all have football/soccer teams sized progenies and qualities in them of the sahabas, so that we can make our beloved (p.b.u.h) proud of us on THAT DAY!! Ameen! And with that said only Allah knows the future and the unseen but may we and our children live to see or at least be the helpers of the truthful messiah Eisa son of Mary (alaihoma asallam)!

    Barak Allah feekom and have a productive week.

    Peace unto you all

  8. Slaam.. I know someone who has similar problems..she is a close relative.
    Tried to conceive for 10 years then eventually had to have IVF she was blessed with a baby boy but at 23 weeks pregnant gave birth prematurely he weighed 1lb…He was in hospital for 6 months with problems and there was plenty of times the doctors said we want to turn machines off but parents refused every time. Allah swt gave the parents 6 months of memories that they have of him. Unfortunately just last month his lungs weren’t strong enough he died at six months old and never did come home from hospital. They have all his nusery things at home that they purchased in hope he’ll come home. InshAllah they will be blessed again soon.

  9. Assalaam Alaykum Dear Brothers and Sisters in Islam

    Childlessness is terrible, only the faith to Allah will make someone tested by this to remain firm and not involved in Shirk.
    ‘m nearly 48 years now, having married for more than 20 years with no child.
    Imagine the pressures from you in-laws and others who think by pressurizing you will change the fate of Allah. Alhamdulillah I have passed through all of this by now, and I pray to Allah to continue to protect me within my remaining time in this world.

    Pray to Allah for you, your female friends and relative, not to be tested with the Childlessness

    Amiin

    • Assalamu Alaikum Productive Team and All Who Are Participating in the Discussion, Alhamdulillah Sr. Resma and Subhanallah Sr. Rukia, my mum conceived until late into her 40’s, and my grandmother was similar, and I became a doctor specializing in Holistic Reproductive Endocrinology via a degree as a Doctor of Oriental Medicine, and Alhamdulillah, by balancing a woman’s and a couple’s health and being thorough and patient with the way that Allah made each of us, and being willing to make dietary and environmental changes that in the modern world lead to build up of hormone-disrupting chemicals such as heavy metals, and learning how to address each individual’s immune response to varying levels, many couples have been able to conceive into their 40’s. From hundreds of years ago, traditional Chinese gynecologists and obstetricians (which included the field of infertility in their field of expertise), impatience was considered the most difficult factor in conceiving a child for the women, and staying away from many things not halal or haram, and sexual overactivity the greatest barricade for conception in the males. Childlessness is approximately equally contributed to by the males and the females for multiple causes, and the highest rates of success are achieved by couples who both undergo holistic treatments with patience and full sincerity to restore balance and health as the way to achieve a healthy child. I pray that all of you have these qualities and find a doctor who is knowing and wise of all of the knowledge to help you, and may Allah make it easy for you to be patient, bear patience with family and friends, and grant you health and wisdom.

      Tharaa

  10. AssalaamAlaikum wr wb
    I recently came across a video which had a Quranic Nusqa by Sheikhs Saleh Al Maghaamasi. Imaam and qateeb of masjid Aqsa. He has himself tried it with success.
    Pray 2 rakahs Nafl salah , recite Ayah 80 of S. Ambiya for 40 times IN each SAJDAH.
    The person who made the video said he was childless for 19yrs, and within 1 month of making this dua he was Blessed with a child. SubhaanAllah.
    I wanted to share the video but it is a mp4 video, and I’m not able to figure out how to share it.
    I don’t know if this will help find it though —- https://www.facebook.com/abdulsattar70

    May Allah swt accept and bless everyone with Saaleh/pious children. Aameen.

  11. Asalamu alaykum
    My test from Allah is loneliness. I’m about 30 years old and Everyone comes to me for marriage reasons always disappears in a unknown condition/reasons or myself I may dislike him,I don know why till now.Others tell me It is” maradh” called “Jinny mahaba” everyone say the way they like. I’m still praying for this childlessness test not come to me Ya Allah when I will be given that gift “Nikkah” inshaAllah Cause people will get more chance to say nonsense,but Allah knows all.

  12. Asalamaleykum,

    Childlessness is obviously distressing for those couples that have faced it, with the uncertainty and doubt that one is constantly confronted with as well as the unhelpful comments of relatives and members of the community. I have been blessed but someone in my immediate family is facing this and we keep up with the hope in Allah, who is the best of planners and trust in His wisdom. The many stories of being blessed with a child after many years are always comforting. I have advised her to concentrate on establishing a career in terms of productivity and self care during this time of waiting.

  13. Assalaam Alaikum brothers n sisters. Just want to make dua for everyone who is experiencing such probs. really touched by the person who had a premature baby n baby was in hospital for six months n never made it home. May Allah make it easy for that couple. Ameen and every Moslem with similar problems. Hv swabr. Allah will give u good out of that. Alhamdlillah my two babies were premature but Allah had mercy on me they r healthy but it was difficult having to go to hospital everyday to see them.

  14. Bismillaah. As Salaamo alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barkaatuh, I knew someone, my Muslim neighbor, who had been told she could not have baby without IVF. They went to first visit, and with the cost of it alone, and then all the testing they wanted done. They knew this was not going to work for them. So, the couple relied upon Allaah alone to provide for them. And within one year of being told she could not have baby naturally, she conceived and carried a full-term baby. She will be four months old in one weeks’ time. Alhamdu lillaah. Trust in Allaah. Have patience in your hardships. And know, “miracles” do happen still! It was a miserable time for the sister, especially she had three miscarriages prior to the IVF recommendation. After all that, one couldn’t even imagine the joy she is feeling now with a happy smiling baby! Allaahumma barak lahum. O Allaah, bless them! Time goes by so quickly!

  15. Assalaamu alaikum. Thank you, ProductiveMuslim.com, for addressing this very important issue. The pain and anguish of infertility is rarely understood except by those who have suffered from it. I was childless in my marriage for more than 16 years, and even my own mother made hurtful comments. She actually complained to me about not having grandchildren, although she knew that my husband and I were having infertility issues. It was all I could do to hold my tongue and refrain from answering, “Well, at least you’ve had children!” The Muslim community was equally insensitive. A few sisters mentioned that I was lucky my husband remained married to me–I never told them that doctors had identified him as the “cause” of the problem. Some sisters rather shockingly wanted to tell me about marriage-bed techniques that could lead to a child. Others said my infertility would resolve if I would simply relax–but I honestly had not been nervous, except due to their comments. Still others told me that if only I would take “x” supplement or try such-and-so therapy, or just make the right du’a “with sincerety” (did they doubt my iman?), I would be “cured.” So many people asked invasive questions about my marital life and why I hadn’t yet had children. I was told that I would never be a real woman, a complete woman, or a happy woman, without children. But the worst was when people would keep their children away from me, due to worry that I would envy them and thus harm them with a jealous evil eye! Does any of this sound familiar? I’m sure counttless sisters have heard and experienced the same! (May Allah bless you, and nshala, may He reward you for your patience!) In my 17th year of marriage, I was blessed with a child. It was a girl, and I felt so blessed—only to hear from several sisters, “Oh, was your husband disappointed? Keep trying, and maybe next time you”ll get a boy, nshala.” What?! Unbelievable! Alhamdulilah, I was extremely happy with my daughter and then was blessed with three more when I was past the age of forty! We can never predict what may happen in our lives. We plan, but Allah is the Best Planner. My heart gies out to my sisters who continue to suffer with infertility. I had resigned myself to what once seemed to be the probability of my never having children. And alhamdulilah, I had resolved not to despair so long as this trial disn’t cause me to lose my Iman–that was my biggest fear. Alhamdulilah, I was also blessed to realize that almost none of the Prophet’s (pbuh) wives (raa) had children with him, and yet they lived extremely gratifying, useful, and productive, blessed lives. And these women are among The Very Best Examples of womenhood! Subhanala. The majority of the Best Examples of Womanhood were childless! That was surely one of their tests in this life, as it is for many of us. During my trial with childlessness, I asked Allah to help me find purpose and meaning in my life, and I resolved to try to make the most of the free time I then had, which would have otherwise been consumed by having to spend time on children. Besides the Um al Mumineen–our mothers in faith as well as the blessed, revered wives of our Prophet (pbuh)—-many, many other noble and great women have never had children. This did not make them in any way “less” than any other woman on earth, or less complete. And infertility doesn’t necessarily have to make womem less fulfilled. Women can make great contributions to this world whether they are mothers or childless! My last point is a reflection on my current life as a mother. Because I had always wanted to have children, over many years, I’d had a long time to imagine what my life would be like if only I were a mother. I innocently assumed I’d be a wonderful mom and do a great job as a mother. But now that I’ve been a mother for nearly 20 years, I see that I could have done much better in many, many ways–and I wonder how Allah may judge me for that; Alhamdulilah, Allah is Merciful and likes to forgive, so I can only hope He will forgive my lapses. Also, I think about how difficult it is to raise children in this day and age of corruption, when all of the small signs of the Last Days have already been fulfilled, and when people have begun wondering if we have reached the stage of when holding onto one’s religion will be like holding on to a burning piece of coal. In these days, Muslims striving to practice are regarded as strange and as strangers, even by (so) many of their fellow Muslims. I can only wonder how it must feel for young people to deal with peer pressure in these times. These are the days in which flagrant immmorality is regarded as normal and good, while resistance to the haram is regarded as odd and wrong. So I can hardly blame my eldest daughter for saying that she isn’t keen on getting married or having children, because it could be so difficult to raise them as good Muslims, in our present society. Of course I know that Muslims must carry on and continue to try their best to raise as many good members for our future ummah as possible–but that won’t be easy. These days, possibly more than ever before, that requires tremendous dedication and effort from parents–as well as “swimming upstream,” against the huge tise of naysayers who proclaim that what you are trying to do is unnecssary and excessive, “too religious.” Wow, now that I am in my fifties, I have heard people urging me to “get with it” and swim woth their tide because, after all, this is 1979…1989…1999…2009—-and soon they’ll be saying it is 2019, after all. The modern age! Which will cease to be modern 10 years from now, perpetually onward? The years roll by, but people remain the same, no matter how their costumes and poses may change. The only constant is Allah and His decree. He designed us, and He alone is our guide for life on this planet. His way is timeless and always right, proportionately perfect. Subhanallah. And His plan, for each and every one of us, is also perfect. So, my dear beothers and sisters in Islam, whether or not you are blessed with children in this life, you must believe that Allah’s plan for you, personally, is Perfect. Perhaps He wants to give you something much better in the Hereafter. And He has promised that all our wishes and dreams will be fulfilled there, where there is no difficulty and no unhappiness. For all of my striving sisters and brothers in Islam dealing with infertitlity, I pray that you may be richly rewarded for trying to remain patient, and finally be blessed with all your heart’s desires and more happiness than you could ever imagine. The struggle is worth it. Persevere in your patience and just keep making du’a to the Only One who understands and fully appreciates your pain, the One whose Mercy for the believers will compensate and reward them for even the mere prick of a thorn (reference hadirh). Allah alone knows your pain, and the Ultimate Reward will come from Him. To those who are parents in this life, a reminder: Your children are a test and a trial for you. Your involvement with them (or lack thereof) could lead you to Heaven, or to Hell. Raising them well is probably the most difficult and most continual challenge that you will ever be tried with. The dangers of temptations, and voices calling to paths leading astray, will surround your progeny right and left. You must do your utmost to raise them in the best way, and then put your trust in Allah. Only He can save them. And you must live with the unsettling reality that you will never know your children’s end–all you can do is to continually try to keep teaching them, keeping them away from evil, and setting a good example for them, while praying that you will be reunited in Jannah one day. This message is sent ro you with love, from your sister in Islam. May Allah comfort you with the True Comfort that can come only from Him. Ameen!

  16. Salam Alaykum brothers and sisters. I have a lot of friends that have this issue of childlessness. It is really a test of faith. No matter how much iman you have, you get scared by the thought it. May Allah bless us with a pious children and if not with a lovely place in paradise.
    For In law pressure I think is best managed if you don’t stay in the same area or state. But if you do, just pray to Allah to grant you sabur. No matter someone’s condition, will all have a limit to level of tolerance. Alhamdulilah one of my friend went for fertility treatment and delivered a to baby boy this January.
    My sister is 46 and she is not married but trying to go for ivf. It is not allowed in Islam for unmarried lady to go for it, is allowed for married couples. May Allah help us all.. When I got married I always recite Surah imran where he prayed to Allah, to bless him with a child at old age. Can’t remember the verse. May Allah bless us in this life and hereafter, and forgive any mistake in my comment and speech.

  17. Assalamualaikum..

    I can’t believe i cried all the way while reading the article and comments from the readers..yes, childlessness is a test of faith indeed..i have been married for more than 2 years (yes, for some, its still early), but the pressure is already getting in..i understand the feeling..i tried all the suggestions people offered to me for solution, but still no hope.. it scared me to death that this test would led me to shirk..people would say, don’t you recite this ayah,that ayah etc..deep in my heart, i always talk to myself..these people didn’t know how far i have gone in the process to be a parent..Alhamdulillah, my spouse is very supportive..at first,he was depressed to see me crying at the thoughts of a child..now we are leading to mutual understanding on the matter, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Thumma Alhamdulillah..I pray that all the couples facing this issue will be granted with sabr and eventually gifted with children that become the coolness of our eyes… A person once advice to me.. “Thankful to Allah for giving you a partner. At least, He grant you someone to be by your side while you travel. There are still many pious sisters out there who wish for a good spouse but don’t have it. Now, focus on your spouse. Focus on doing your best to him. Give your spouse the unconditional love”..

  18. After reading all the worderful comments, I feel speechless. Nevertheless my motto is: b positve, think positive, tawakul on Allah the Best Planner. Arm yourself with sabr as high as Mount Uhud against bad comments and in Sha Allah, your wish will either become true here or in the hereafter. You are never the loser.

  19. I saw your article through google it’s really a common thing in today’s, but we just can pray for it. May ALLAH bless all children and give them a healthy life. In now a days we need to deliver religious awareness to our kids it’s very necessary to live a great life. I can show an school where children getting both of the education so just take a look of: http://www.darulmadinah.net and honestly think about it if our children will go through the Islamic way.

  20. I currently know a couple who have that situation and what they do is incredible for me and more likely for everyone around them. This couple has been married for about two years and haven’t given any progeny yet. Even though they are stil young both in term of age and relation, it is more likely for them to feel discourage, seeing the other new couples have had a child. however, they were trying to immerse themselves in good deed which is by caring some orphan. they’ve participated actively in a community which care for orphan and bring up a relative kid as their child. I think focussing to do something good and avoid complaining, could bring great impact for us in general.

  21. Assalamualaikum. I couldnt help myself to give my thoughts when reading all the comments above knowing that there are more couples like us having childless issue.I’ve been married for 7 years and till now still hoping and making du’a Allah will grant us with childs one day. Yes,its a trial of faith. But in the midst of this trial, Allah blessed me with a caring husband and understanding families including my in laws. Then another trial came with one by one our old growing parents got sick…stroke,heart failure etc…then i realized probably its given time for us to fully dedicate ourselves taking care of our sick parents…for now we are playing our role as children rather than parents. Please pray for us and our parents….will never lose hope.?

  22. Assalamualekum,

    I’m not sure if i can write here at all since Im neither muslim, no infertile.. But I was just looking for any help, advice or encouragement on web and came across your page. I am married for 8 years of which 5 years we know that my husband is completely infertile. We did biopsy to prove he has 0 sperm. so our chances are 0% too. we love each other and every day I thank God for having sent to me my husband. he is really my better half. I cannot imagine my life and my world without him. But after 5 years I also realized that I cannot live a childless life. I do want a child and i do want to experience all these pregnancy feeling and baby joy. My husband understand it well.

    I was thinking over how we can deal with it. and had one idea which seemed reasonable to me, being a christian. We divorce, I make a baby with a donor sperm in a clinic and after I deliver a baby, I come back to my ex-husband to marry im again. He, in this case, can adopt my child as if he marries a woman with a baby. Does it sound reasonable??

    However, he doesnt accept this option due to islamic laws, and I am ultimately desperate. I really dontt know what I have to. I know that IF i divorce, i will be a single mother at best and will never have a complete family, care and love I have now. Pls, if someone has been in this situation, share how you have handled it! Thank you!

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