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  1. Jazak Allah khair I really benefited a lot from reading this article and inshallah I will keep your tips in mind.

  2. Jazaki Allahu khair. These articles are much needed. Thank you sister for writing about this topic because it touches the heart of almost all married women with mother-in-laws.

  3. SubhanAllah, this came to me when I needed it most. JazakAllahu khayr for writing such a wonderful article and putting things into perspective. May Allah (swt) increase you in goodness and grant you jannatul firdaus.

  4. I don’t agree with part 1 or part 2. I don’t feel the need to get to know or get involved with my mother in law. Perhaps this is due to the person that she is and perhaps your advice may be very beneficial to people in other situations. You are assuming that the mother in law is a person who just happens to live in the same space. What about the situation where the MIL thinks that the DIL is living in her (the MIL’s) space and needs everything done a certain way up to the point of dictating what the DIL should do for her husband/children and especially pointing out what her son should not be doing for his wife. My advice would be to treat your MIL as a sister in Islam which she is anyway. If you manage to be friends, all good and dandy but if not, just as a stranger, be nice but walk away cause you have a life that you want to lead and you have no time for silly nonsense. As usual these kinds of articles seem to focus on advice for the DIL. InshaAllah I would like to see scholars and writers educating Muslim parents and in laws. JazakaAllah

    • I can understand well sister where you are coming from. I think those types of mother in laws have a deep seated insecurity towards their relationship with their son. If they don’t remain ‘in control’ they will feel like they don’t have anything to hold on to anymore. Perhaps if her own son can try his best to make his mother feel secure in her relationship with him..gifts..time etc…she will overtime back off.

      The other thing is..I think in situations such as these..the mother in law is way too heavily focused on the son and not enough on her own husband.

      Aside from that..I think some articles should be written about the son as well who is in the worst position of all lol.

      I’ve been married twice .. so I can understand that some of these techniques will work with normal ppl and not necessarily with ppl who have really strange emotional issues going on.

  5. JAZAKALLAH TRUELY GOOD ,THOUGHT PROVOKING BUT THIS WILL GO MUCH BETTER WITH MIL WHO ALSO IS A PRACTICING MUSLIM BUT IN MANY CASES IN LAWS SPECIALLY MIL ARE NOT PRACTICING .THIS BRINGS A DIFFICULT SITUATION.

  6. Jazakallah, well written, thought provoking article. To all those who felt it is important to also write an article of the same vein for mother in laws, I’d just like to say that you are correct that perhaps this is much needed. But I must advice that as the younger participant in the equation it is our duty to look within ourselves and see if he have tried to connect with our mother in laws on an emotional level, if we have sat with them when they looked sad, comforted them when they were not well and sought their advice with a pure heart. If we want a change in our relationships, we must first empower ourselves and look within and make the first important move and with the help of Allah swt if our intentions are good the fruit of our efforts will be seen in time.

  7. Subanallah an amazing and very interesting article. I wish we write more lessons like this to help out out sisters out there. Will pass n share with my sis =)

  8. JazakAllah for reading and commenting. Valid points all, but yes, I did provide a disclaimer at the outset that the suggestions provided pertained more to a “setting where a husband and wife may live independently and are subsequently joined by the mother-in-law (for a short or extended period)….” For those who have not been aided by any suggestions provided in these two articles, perhaps you may come up with your own list and share IA. I have much to learn. AH Umm Muhemmed.

  9. Mother in law and daughter in law relationship is not in the Sunnah because the husbands relatives have got nothing to do with his wife and vice versa. The husbands relatives should live separately from the marital home and not interfere with the nuclear family because quite frankly that’s just wrong Islamically. I think the English term ‘mother’ in law is vey confusing cause it has the word ‘mother’ in it so people assume all sorts. In reality, the Arabic term is ‘husbands mother’ as well as ‘husbands father’ and ‘husbands parents’ who are just like any other Muslim. Not in any way particularly more important than any other muslim on the street as far as the ‘husbands wife’ is concerned. Don’t use the English terms again and it will make things more manageable inshaAllah.

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