7 Things To-Do In Times of Hardship

Whenever a person faces hardship, it’s easy for him/her to give up and walk away from their challenges or complain and blame those around him/her. They fall into depression, feel sad about their situation and feel powerless. They don’t understand “why this is happening to them” or “what they did to deserve this”. But for a ProductiveMuslim, his/her way of thinking is completely different.

Whenever a ProductiveMuslim faces hardship, he/she takes a step back from their difficult situation and thinks about it from a higher level. They step back from their life with all its worries, anxieties, problems, and thinks about it from an Akhira perspective, then they ask themselves the question: what does this ALL mean when compared to the Hereafter? What does this ALL mean when compared to eternity in Jannah?

One of the main misunderstanding we all have in this life is that if we do good, we should get good in this life and hereafter. This is not entirely true.

This life is not the life we’ll get justice in. If this was the case, there would be no need for a Day of Judgement or Akhira.

This life is a life of duality; there’s good and bad, justice and injustice, mercy and oppression, love and hate, truth and falsehood..etc. Your role in this life is to live your life according to how Allah (Subhanahu Wa’Tala) asked you to do, seeking His pleasure, avoiding His anger. And Allah (Subhanahu Wa’Tala) promises you in many places in the Quran, that if you do just that, He’ll give you a ‘good’ life. Allah says in the Quran:

Whoever works righteousness, man or woman, and has Faith, verily, to him will We give a new Life, a life that is good and pure and We will bestow on such their reward according to the best of their actions.” (Surat Al-Nahl, Verse 97)

“He that is righteous and patient,- never will Allah suffer the reward to be lost, of those who do right.” (Surat Yousef, Verse 90)

During times of hardship, it’s essential to remember there are effective ways to deal with any difficulty.

Here are 7 practical steps to help you face any difficult situation

  1.  Salah. Make sure you stick to praying on time – 5 times a day. Never miss a salah and do your best to pray each Salah with sincerity as if it’s your last salah in this world.
  2. Read Quran. This Quran is so beautiful that no matter what difficulties you face you’ll find solace in it.
  3. Make Dua. Especially the dua for removing anxiety.
  4. Give Sadaqah. Give lots of charity, as much as you can, because it helps push away hardship. And if you can’t give money, even kind words or physical sadaqah can do (i.e. helping people physically or emotionally).
  5. Set Goals and Have Vision. Don’t let shaytaan play with you and keep replaying the video of your hardship in your mind over and over again, move on! Set new goals, new projects, and remember you’re with Allah, nothing should stop you!
  6. Wake up Early. Wake up before fajr and work on your ideas and projects, or simply read Qur’an. Getting busy before day break is a definite way to move away from your hardship and overcome challenges. Get most of your ideas/work done in these early hours, these are blessed hours.
  7. Hardship is Not Lost. Remember, Allah will never forget the injustice/hardship you faced, so don’t worry about seeking revenge or trying to get justice

In the end, I pray that Allah (Subhanahu Wa’Tala) removes all your ordeals and hardships, blesses you all with a good life and helps you remember Him day and night, for “Verily, with remembrance of Allah, do hearts find rest”. (Surah Ar-Ra’d , verse 28)


155 thoughts on “7 Things To-Do In Times of Hardship

    1. Mashallah I read this article to and I’m going through a difficult time .I did choose to walk away but some how something is bulling me back . Subhanallah .

      1. Allahu-akbar, please bless the Prophet sm.

        Ya Allah help all the muslims over the world.
        Ya Allah help me being a stronger muslim.
        Ya Allah help me overcome all my problems, financial, physical, social- all kind of problems.

        Ya Allah due to immigration problems I am in a different country far from my wife. Ya Allah make things easy for us to be together sooner and being both of us more stronger practicing muslims.

        Ya Allah have mercy on me and my family my ammu, abbu brother and all the muslim brothers and sisters.

        Ameeen Ameen Ameen.

    2. allah is GREAT, i have been a really bad person till now, i didnt pray, and never remembered god till i faced a traffic situation, and i pray from god to make me strong and a great muslim. due to not praying and not remembering god, i went through hell, friends betrayed me, ppl lied stuff about me, going to depression, and anger gets me easily. please muslim brothers and sisters pray to god to help me in my bad situations and i will do as well.

    3. assalamu alaikkum, ….iam running through most difficult time of my life till now i lost my baby at 34 weeks of my pregnancy through placental abruption. me,my hus,my family and mostly my elder son was eagerly waiting for her arrival.iam praying to allah all time to overcome this situation and plz everybody dua for me

      1. Salaam sister, I am so sorry for all the suffering you’re enduring. May Allah swt grant you and your family sabr ad infinitum. You’re in my dua, insha’Allah.

  1. Salam. The link to surah ar-ra’d is wrong. It links to surah yusof. I hope the writer do something, yeah? :D it should be [13:28] instead of [12:28] :)

    Jazakallahukhayran! :)

      1. This advise dose help me move on. I think about Allah and fear Allah all the time. I just want to move on cause we are blessed by his grace.

  2. Salaam,

    JazakAllahu Khair for a wonderful article. After sharing this post with family and friends, I got a query seeking specific reference for reciting Surah Yusuf during times of hardship. Barak Allahu Feek.

  3. Mashallah good article, concise and to the point. Everyone should put these points on paper and stick them on the fridge so they can be seen frequently as everyone goes through hardship at some time or another.

  4. Jazakallah khair !
    ProductiveMuslim has been a great source of motivation and inspiration for me. I have become Positively Stronger and more productive as a person.  Barak Allahu Feek.

  5. Salam
    Im having a hard time, i im 25+ unmarried and have not complete my Uni studies. My family is upset with me. Cause untill now Ive been good but the last 3 years it is like Satan has taken over controll over my mind. Nothing seem to go as i plan. And yes i know it is my own fault, and the Satan makes me think “you will not manage that” . Im so depressed and cry for every little thing. And i cannot control my crying anymore. I pray that Allah will forgive me and that He will show me the right way. I sure want to finish what i have started and get married insha Allah.
    I had to write my mind out.
    Thanks for a great page.

    1. Walaykum Assalam sister, 

      First of all I would like to encourage you to not lose heart or faith in Allah’s mercy towards us. Being unmarried or not having a degree is no reason to be sad at all! The best of the woman whom Allah created, Maryam (may Allah be pleased with her) was unmarried! Ayesha (may Allah be pleased with her) never had children, Asiya (may Allah be pleased with her) was married to Pharaoh and many other examples! SubhanAllah, we don’t know what Allah is protecting us from. Sister, remember marriage is not everything and those who force you to think otherwise are not on the straight path. Remember what Allah (swt) said, “”Wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this world. But the good righteous deeds that last are better with your Lord for rewards and better in respect of hope.”
      [Surah Al-Kahf: 46]”

      Read lots of Quran, understand it and apply it then you’ll be so content you’ll forget all the worries in this world inshaAllah. You’ll come across several materialistic people in this dunya whose focus is only on these exterior requirements while completely rejecting what Allah (swt) has asked us to focus on. Ignore them and pray that Allah (swt) guides them. Remember that this dunya is only a test and our final result lies with Allah (swt). Remember: The Hereafter is far better for you than this first (life). [42:20] 

      Pleasing Him should be our priority over pleasing people or our own nafs. We won’t be asked about how many degrees we got, but we surely will be asked about how many salahs we prayed and how many salahs we missed and how was our relationship with Quran and how much was our commitment towards learning the deen of Allah and applying it in our life. 

      You’ll come across people who’ll do their best to bring you down, but your istikamah (steadfastness) towards Allah (swt) is exactly what’ll keep you up and above people like that inshaAllah. You have to be strong and keep relying on Allah (swt). For when Allah is your source of strength, people can not bring you harm as much of an atom’s weight: Or who is it that could be an army for you to aid you other than the Most Merciful? The disbelievers are not but in delusion. (67:20). So sister, what exactly do we have to be sad about :) 

      It’s ok to cry as long as it is to Allah (swt) alone, people can provide us nothing and they can take nothing from us – only Allah can. What matters is how much effort we are putting in making things alright in the sight of Allah and not people. People come and go in our life. They’ll keep us comparing with others forgetting their own faults and shortcomings. Let Allah (swt) deal with them. Pray for your family, love them and be by their side because at the end of the day, no matter how they are – they are the only real people who’ll be by your side. All others will desert you in time of need and it’s Allah’s guarantee that you’ll not be sad as long as your righteous: Verily, those who have attained to faith and do good works, and are constant in prayer, and dispense charity – they shall have their reward with their Sustainer, and no fear need they have, and neither shall they grieve. (2:227)

      Hold on to patience, truly Allah is with the patient :) Sister, you’ll be in my duas. 

      1.  Abdul Malek
        W.salam dear brother/sister, 

         I underwent the same situation you go
        through, and believe me, I will give you the knowledge Allah helped me
        with.Let’s start with this:Allah has said in the Qur’an, S65: v2-3 (V2)
        “…And Whoever fears Allah and keeps their duty to Him, He will make a
        way for one to get out(of every difficulty)”(V3) “ And He will provide
        one from where one could not imagine. And whoever puts one’s trust in
        Allah, then He will suffice him/her. Verily Allah will accomplish one’s
        purpose. Indeed Allah has a measure for all things.”

        Why should one fear
        Allah? It is because one fears Allah’s punishment. And why should one
        fear Allah’s punishment, except it be for one’s sins. Is there a way out
        of one’s sins?

        Of course as, Our Prophet Muhammad(SAAS) said, “Whoever
        constantly prays for forgiveness, Allah will relieve him/her from all
        adversities, make a way out for him/her from all hardships and provide
        for him/her from means which he/her could never have expected.” (An
        Nasaai, classed as Sahih by Al-Albaani).

        In the Stories of the Prophets by
        Ibn Kathir, one of them was of Prophet Yunus(A.S.), where he was given
        the responsibility of giving the message to his people. He was sent to
        warn his people of Allah’s Punishment and Mercy, but he became really
        frustrated with his people’s indifference by the end of it, and went
        away angry from his people against Allah’s command.

        While he was on the
        sea with a ship’s crew, the seas become stormy and a big fish was
        circling their slowly-drowning ship. They threw away all their luggage,
        but still wasn’t enough to stop the ship from drowning. So then they
        began drawing lots among themselves to be thrown overboard, to save
        weight. To their surprise, Yunus(A.S.) was chosen three times, and so he
        was thrown overboard, and immediately the fish carried out Allah’s
        command and ate him, and the ship was saved.

        While in the depths of the
        fish’s stomach, surrounded by darkness upon darkness, he humbled himself
        before Allah, knowing full well this was Allah’s punishment. And
        immediately his tongue began moving with remembrance in humility and
        regret, which is“Laa ilaaha illa anta, subhanaka inni kuntum minaz
        zalimeen.” So Allah, the All-Hearer, the One who knows everything,
        listened to his Dhzikr and saw that his heart was full of regret of what
        he did, and commanded the fish to remove him from its stomach.
        And
        Allah saved him from his distress and he returned to his people.This
        must be you First priority.

        Turn to Allah and ask him forgiveness
        regularly. Ask him as much as you possibly can. Say Laa ilaaha illa anta
        subhanaka inni zalimeen.

        If you live in a non-Islamic country, try to
        find out an Islamic Society, or place, or any masjid near your place.
        Get a contact number, and find out if there is a sisters’ group. Look on
        facebook and join them.

        You are in a university inshaAllah, so there
        must be support groups. Put your trust solely on Allah and find a
        Islamic social life.May Allah help and preserve you with your
        ever-increasing Iman.

        1. Alhamdulillah for your words.
          Only Allah kan help out of this, it might seem like it is the hardest Ive been through, but there could always have been worse…

      2. Alhumdililah very inspiring advice, due to hardships in my personal life, my imaan has been severely affected it wasn’t overly strong to begin with. I feel alone sad depressed anxious and desperately wanting somebody to help me process what is going on in my personal life.I am very tearful, but i find it hard to get myself out of feeling like this. My ex husband has remarried and i feel anger because he has moved on especially as he was the main reason why we separated. I have no peace never have i dont think, how do i trust in allah and see the light.

        1. Alhamdulillah, it’s good to know you found this article inspiring. You may find more inspiration in the story of Prophet Ayub (alaihis-salaam), in sha Allah.

          Read about him here: http://www.kalamullah.com/Books/Stories%20Of%20The%20Prophets%20By%20Ibn%20Kathir.pdf
          and you can hear an inspirational story about him here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHaHtROtu8k

          May Allah give you the strength, perseverance, and patience in your trial, shower you with His mercy, and reward you for it.

        2. salam 3alikoum oukhti rehana,
          it is okay to cry but you just have to remind yourself all the time that what I do that this is just a test and that afterlife that counts and that stay forever. sister life is just temporary do not care if your ex husband or anybody else who can mistreat you. ALLAH soubhanaho wa ta3ala knows and see everything and just pray to ALLAH (S.T) and trust me once you start you are going to feel very free and like you do what you have to do and ALLAH is very raouf bi3ibadihi and remember all those poor palestinians and our muslim brothers and sisters who suffer everyday and they have ALLAH (soubhanahou wa ta3alah)To rely on and that s all they need. so everytime you think about your ex immediatly change your thinking to ALLAH ( read a sourat or thank ALLAH (swt) )and by doing so you will find yourself just after a small amount of time not thinking about him because you change your thinking every time he pop up. anyway ALLAH is with you do not forget you are a muslima and you should be proud of it because not every one is born muslim. here read this:
          قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : (( لأن أقول : سبحان الله , والحمد لله , ولا إله إلا الله , والله اكبر أحب إلي مما طلعت عليه الشمس
          twakali 3ala ALLAH and forget about your past and May ALLAH soubhanahou wa ta3ala bring you a nice husband in the future InchALLAH there are a lot of nice muslim men don t worry. just forget about the past and focus on ALLAH soubhanahou wa ta3ala the one that give us to eat and drink and protect us every day and find a new thing to do something that makes you happy.

      3. salam alikoum, i am lamiaa and just would like to thank you for advising many readers who read your post in need. jazaki ALLLAH khayran inchALLAH soubhanahou wa ta3ala. chokran okhti lmuslima.

      4. Today bad thing happen to me after read this I know Allah swt will help me also after read this I cry and cry and cry u just wrote this for me thx.!may Allah help and me .

    2. W.salam dear brother/sister,   I underwent the same situation you go through, and believe me, I will give you the knowledge Allah helped me with.Let’s start with this:Allah has said in the Qur’an, S65: v2-3 (V2) “…And Whoever fears Allah and keeps their duty to Him, He will make a way for one to get out(of every difficulty)”(V3) “ And He will provide one from where one could not imagine. And whoever puts one’s trust in Allah, then He will suffice him/her. Verily Allah will accomplish one’s purpose. Indeed Allah has a measure for all things.”Why should one fear Allah? It is because one fears Allah’s punishment. And why should one fear Allah’s punishment, except it be for one’s sins. Is there a way out of one’s sins? Of course as, Our Prophet Muhammad(SAAS) said, “Whoever constantly prays for forgiveness, Allah will relieve him/her from all adversities, make a way out for him/her from all hardships and provide for him/her from means which he/her could never have expected.” (An Nasaai, classed as Sahih by Al-Albaani)In the Stories of the Prophets by Ibn Kathir, one of them was of Prophet Yunus(A.S.), where he was given the responsibility of giving the message to his people. He was sent to warn his people of Allah’s Punishment and Mercy, but became really frustrated with his people’s indifference by the end of it, and went away angry from his people against Allah’s command. While he was on the sea with a ship’s crew, the seas become stormy and a big fish was circling their slowly-drowning ship. They threw away all their luggage, but still wasn’t enough to stop the ship from drowning. So then they began drawing lots among themselves to be thrown overboard, to save weight. To their surprise, Yunus(A.S.) was chosen three times, and so he was thrown overboard, and immediately the fish carried out Allah’s command and ate him, and the ship was saved.While in the depths of the fish’s stomach, surrounded by darkness upon darkness, he humbled himself before Allah, knowing full well this was Allah’s punishment. And immediately his tongue began moving with remembrance in humility and regret, which is“Laa ilaaha illa anta, subhanaka inni kuntum minaz zalimeen.” So Allah, the All-Hearer, the One who knows everything, listened to his Dhzikr and saw that his heart was full of regret of what he did, and commanded the fish to remove him from its stomach. And Allah saved him from his distress and he returned to his people.This must be you First priority. Turn to Allah and ask him forgiveness regularly. Ask him as much as you possibly can. Say Laa ilaaha illa anta subhanaka inni zalimeen. If you live in a non-Islamic country, try to find out an Islamic Society, or place, or any masjid near your place. Get a contact number, and find out if there is a sisters’ group. Look on facebook and join them. You are in a university inshaAllah, so there must be support groups. Put your trust solely on Allah and find a Islamic social life.May Allah help and preserve you with your ever-increasing Iman.

    3. Alhamdulillah for your answer, brother and sister. I appreciate it. And it is like a sign, cause Ive felt like a mess, worse than usual. May Allah help us all. Salam

    4. salam sister,
      hey just reading this made me cry coz this is whats happening to me right now and its like no one knows where im coming from or how i feel till i saw ur article.
      inshallah Allah has better plans for us

  6. Beautiful …may ALLAH swt shower HIS blessings on all of us.. and take us out successfully from our hardships ameen…

  7. i am facing hardship of my husband planning to marry another woman. 

    i needed this article at this time it is like you have pored out here what is in my heart

  8. Subhan’allah,

    Im going through a hard time and have been for awhile now and allham’dul’ilah and reading this artical has helped my imaan even more.. May allah (swt) help us in these troubled times

    ameen.

    He is the all knower and wise, ‘the best of planners.

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  10. I have just lost my job but my remembrance of Allah and Salah have given me a strange tranquil feeling and and times when I am alone I am at peace with myself because the reason I lost my job is very interesting and I would be surprised that after listening to my reason anyone would probably think I am CRAZY.

    The reason I lost my job is that my boss told me to remove my beard or quit. And I finally after much deliberation quit because most people think that keeping a beard is sunnah but its not. Its wajib for all muslim men to keep a beard and I believe that the beard is like Hijab for men.

    1. Salaam brother i am proud of you Inshah Allah you will soon find another job, if you have Imaan on Allah then He will definitely keep you away from hardship

  11. i just found out that i am pregnant!! i ve no idea how i am going to get through this! Allhamdulillah i ve two boys who go to school. i don’t want to get into diapers and sleepless nights again, just when i thought everything was on track, nothing is…right now i am so depressed that i pray for a miscarriage all the time. i am not strong enough for this responsibility, the taking care off part isn’t the problem. the problem is the grooming and training of this individual, the task of making them a good muslim and a decent human being…i just want to get out of this situation, no matter what.

    1. Allah test each person according to their abiliy. Your under going a test. You just need to be patient. Children are a blessing in the family

    2. dear sister, its true you have no idea!! do you know that it is a sin to pray for a miscarriage? its like taking a life (an innocent and unborn life) which is against the principles of islam, As sister Tasneem said it is a test, Allah will only give you the amount of hardship that you can tolerate, you just need to be patient. Our prophet (S.A.W) adored kids, Do not think of them as a burden, there can’t be any problem in raising kids they will follow what you do, and if you are on the right path Inshaah Allah they will too.

    3. Sister i think you need to be grareful. My husband and i can not have children, it is one of the hardest things to go through in life. Allah has given you a blessing! You can always give the baby away to a muslim couple if you feel you can not handle the situation but never ever pray or hope for a miscarriage, that is a life you want to end and only allah is in control of this.

    4. Sister i think you need to be grareful. My husband and i can not have children, it is one of the hardest things to go through in life. Allah has given you a blessing! You can always give the baby away to a muslim couple if you feel you can not handle the situation but never ever pray or hope for a miscarriage, that is a life you want to end and only allah is in control of this situation.

    5. try not to be too depressed. It may be your hormones that are making you feel a little crazy at times during pregnancy. Children are a blessing. Really. Just be tawakkal and Allah will provide. In syaa allah. Try to make time for yourself and enjoy some time alone to think and keep calm. I know pregnancy can be tiring and painful. Most of us will not be getting that rosy happy glow of expecting mothers. Only a few will and so far I have only seen this in the movies. I though i could’nt handle another baby at my age and to think of waking up at odd hours for nursing and diapers and crying, but alhamdulillah…Allah gave me courage that I never knew i had and i am grateful. Don’t do something that you will regret later on in life and just try to relax and don’t expect too much of yourself. Go with the flow and eat chocolate :D

  12. Saalam I’m facing hardship being single mother of three daughters my ex husband has very mean and Nasty to me. I never have any peace of mind I don’t know why my eldest daughter is giving me a very hard time please let me know what I should read to protect myself from shaytan thank you very much I need to talk to some

    1. Hi Rose.
      I guess you must be going through a very tough time right,.Allah tests who He will.
      It is not easy to be patient and hopeful. But pray that Allah will give you strength. Maybe your eldest daughter misses having both parent around or maybe she thinks that this is your fault only coz sometimes that is the only way to tell that they are hurting as well, by being mean to their parents. Kids can be be affected as well by all this. I would advise you to go and take a holiday away. Just you and your kids. Just spend time with each other and of course away from your ex. He is an ex for a reason right. By the way, have you tried talking to him if that is even possible? Sometimes communication goes a long way.

  13. Salaam

    I’m 23 Years old male, I have been doing so much sin in my past as with drugs, clubbing, friends. i have moved away from it Ahumdulliah, Moved over sea to make a new life for my self since it been a year and a half and i’m still in the place where i don’t want to be, i have build my self a few account, had two great jobs and lost it. had Boss that had evil heart lost my Job two Time, Last one lost it a week before xmas and now still looking, I can’t do anything but to fly back home asking mum for help, it make me sick because i have so much Bills like Ya Allah take me home at least my life insurant will cover everything and my parent can get money. Why so much problem, Mum ask me what have i did with all my money in that year, it make me feel like i haven’t got anywhere in life just hate my self but i know inside i did many right choices and have followed the past of Allah but it just get too much to control. I hate Money in this world. I’m getting older and i’m already moving backward, Have a car that will still need to pay off at least 8Grand since i’m still giving it back as i can’t afford it. So much drama.

  14. Assalamualaikum
    I am not a practesing muslim of which i am very ashamed about so i do not know how to go about this, i was robbed one day and i am very scared that they will get me again could someone please tell me what i should read to make this hardship go away inshallah i will start praying from today

    Thank you

    1. When Allah wants someone to pray to him then He gives him some difficulties so that he prays and wants from Allah.But if you remember Allah in ur happy moments,Allah will remember u in ur sad moments.So start remembering Him from now,He will remember u if u fall in such kind of situation again.

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  16. SubhanAllah what I read sounds good but with my situation is that I face too many problems in life. I face so much difficulty and so much hardship. Everywhere I go I feel pain and then I work on my heart then feel in difficulty, worry or concern. I am in need of serious help. My heart feels weak at times just after I done something good for Allah. I would like to know how to maintain the good feeling for longer and avoid facing anxiety and stress.

    What I do in life is I study at University, I do not work at the moment, I mostly study at my free time and also pray but I also would like to balance things a bit more so I could work on my heart towards deen. I do not want lack or lose anything.

  17. assalamu alykum

    mera naam faeza he or me jise pasand karti hu uska naam ashish he..me jise pasand karti hu wo bhi muje pasand karta tha hum dono 2 saal tak sath rahe fir wo ladka mujse dur ho gaya ab wo mujse bat bhi nhi karta or me ph ya msg karti hu to bhi bat nahi karta me bahot dil se use pasand karti hu bas me itna chati hu k wo wapis mere paas aa jaye..plz dua karo mere liye..wo ladka ab muje ph bhi nahi karta he or agar me samne se ph karti hu to cut kar deta he me uske bina nahi ji sakti hu plz allah k liye mere liye aap dua kare…

    1. Huh how funny this world is.tum jise payer karti ho wo tumhe dekhkar bhag jate hein.Aur hum dono ek dusre se payer kartethe,but payer humko dekhagar bhag gayi.This is a test for you.Every people gets completely differnt types of test.May Allah show you the right way.

  18. I have had a relationship with a girl.We always prayed to Allah as He help us to be together.I wanted her from my every prayer that I prayed to Allah.And I was always dependent on Allah only.I was going through a bad time of my career.I tried to go abroad as I could want her from her parents.But I saw my every attempt to go abroad was dismissed through some silly matters.I completed all requirements but I was failed to go abroad unbelivablly.I lost my everything that I hoped to be.I only prayed to Allah,”O Allah,I know I did many sins in my life,I seek forgive from you,but please don’t give me the test of losing her.I can’t pass this exam.If you give me this test shaitan will force me to lose my path.This world is full of evil things.I am very much emotional and I can’t bear it.I always keep trust on you.Please give her to me.Make my way to get her easier to me”.But don’t know why Allah didn’t pay any heed to my dua.At the very biging of this month her parents forced her to marry another one.Now I lost everything,my golden career,my love,freedom to live without this mental torture.Okey,Alhamdunillah then shaitan couldn’t bring me towards him.I stared praying regualrly.And my next pray to Allah is,”Please give her to me once again in this world and Jannah”I want to go to Jannah,I want to make Allah happy,I want to be the lucky one to go to Jannah.But I heard that I can’t want her from Allah even in Jannah if I was not married to her in this world.So waht should I do???…I can’t control myself thinking about this.I went to washroom and cry.I cry when I’m in sejdah.I can’t do anything.Feeling so helpless…And the more I try to be patient the more the shocking scenes come to my mind.When I’m in salat,it comes to my mind that ,the girl whom I wanted is now with someone.Once I decided to search someone who is shocked like me to talk and be mentally free.But I can’t imagine anything without her….I know I have a long way to go.But in this world,most available sins like Alcohole,jeena,drugs are calling me towards them.How can I be patient and complete my test which is given by my Creator??????????

    1. I go through so much difficulty and struggle in the last few weeks. It is like something is not working out but I still try my best to pray, seek for forgiveness and make du’a to Allah. After that I am still facing difficulty and I feel in a bad state. I just want advice on how to make my university life work out. I have tests coming up soon and with the state I am in I do not want to drag that on. I want help and make things be how they were before. Also, please du’a for me I am trying my best to be dutiful throughout the day.

    2. Dear brother helpless Hasan: Remember brother, everything in this world is temporary and is a test. It may be that one thing you desire is not good for you and it may be tha t u don’t like what you get but in the end Allah knows what’s best for us and He always gives us what is indeed best for us but we dont know. I can understand the pain you’re going through but Allah doesnot burden a soul more than it can bear. You have more strength than you can realize and if you try you can change your life for better. Whenever you get distracted by the thoughts of your past and sufferings think of the less fortunate and of other people who are suffering more than you are. Think of how hard it must have been for people who lose everything from their dear ones to their hard earned belongings. Brother, you are still young and you have a long journey to conquer. You can change your own fate: their are two choices for you: good or bad. The choice to choose one is yours and you know which one to choose. If you choose the good one, one day you will get relief from this pain and suffering but if god orbid satan makes you choose the second one, eventually you will make your life and your lived ones life even miserable… As a Muslim alhumdulillah we have a constant guide in the form of Quran which is the best source of knowledge for us. Let me give you some quick tips to overcome your depression and find a way through life… Lead a balanced life, everything that we do in extreme leaves us exhausted and with abundant hopes which may shatter our dreams one day. Remember Allah all the time. Read Durood shareef and pay attention on each word. Spend more time with your family, we forget how much they suffer because of us and our neglection but if you bond with them you will not need an outsider to fill your loneliness. Read good books, cook, you can even help with house chores there is nothing of shame in it. Apply for jobs if you do not have one. Start sports, stay active and keep yourself occupied with good work to do.. Until you find a job, get yourself involved in volunteer work at a local NGO or start teaching orphans or street children. Why do you say that there is evil calling for you brother when you have the soul f a Muslim and a Muslim has to promote positivity and never be hopeless. If you look for ways, there are many ways out of this suffering but if you want to suffer, satan will throw oil on this fire. So think rationally and in the light of Quran. May Allah be your guide and help you through his time of test. I hope my comment will reach you and you will act on it. For sad times and moments of despair you should read the dua of hazrat Yaqoob a.s, which is given in surah Yusuf and it is like this: innama ashkou bassi wa huzni iallah. Also, the dua of hazrat Yunus which goes like this: laa ialaha illa anta subhanaka inni kuntu minazzuwalimeen. Also read Ya Mughnio which means Aye Laparwah karnay walay, slowly and gradually your love for Allah will grow and you will be filled with so much love for Allah that nothing of this world will affect you. May Allah bless you with inner peace and help you through every step in life. Amen. JazakAllah.

  19. To Helpless Hasan,

    Brother, I know where you are coming from and I am facing difficulty as well but these things do come in mind like temptations of doing wrong.

    Throughout your day, you can possibly do more ibadah. I do not know if you have tried this but do Muraqabah. How to do Muraqabah? You don’t move your tongue, talk loud or whisper but in your mind say “Allah… Allah…” This could be done for 10-15 minutes or more if you wish. It is natural when you do Muraqabah things will come in mind or distract you. The purpose of Muraqabah is to empty your mind and say the words of Allah.

  20. DEAR BROTHERS/SISTERS.
    A FATHER WITH 9 KIDS AND THIER MOM, I HAVE A VERY DIFFICULT TIME NOW IN MY LIFE. NEVER I EXPERIENCED THIS BEFORE. I FEEL SAD, WORRIED, POWERLESS AND ASHAMED.
    I LOST MY JOB AND GOT TIRED OF FINDING ANOTHER, I TRIED VERY HARD MY SELF AND THROUGH OTHER INFLUENTIAL PERSONS BUT, NEVERTHELESS IT ALL FAILED. MY FRIENDS ARE NOT HELPING ME, BUT SOME OF THEM INFACT GOT EXCITED AND HAPPY, THEY SEE ME WITH WORRIES AND HELPLESS. EVEN I DONT RECIEVE THIER USUAL CALLS DURING MY GOOD TIMES. THEY IGNORE ME NOW AND THINK I AM USELESS. OTHERS ALSO TEASE ME AND SAY NEGATIVE THINGS ABOUT ME AFTER LOSING MY JOB. I ASK MY SELF WHAT I HAVE DONE IN GOING THROUGH ALL THIS DIFFICULTIES. I WAS GOOD TO EVERYONE,GENOROUS AND KIND IN GIVING THEM ALL I COULD. LET ALONE FINDING A JOB, I AM NOW SUFFERING TO BE ABLE TO PAY THE FAMILY’S USUAL EXPENSES. WHAT IS WRONG,,,,,,,,,,,, I SEEK YOUR ADVICE.
    MUBKADAGS.

  21. Assalamalaikum I m married since 3 years. But after marriage I came to know that my husband already have his first wife. I faced lots of problems even I had to stay alone in one flat. He used to come very rarely to me. Still I managed everything and told him to treat both of us equally. But since 1 year I m staying with my father and he is not willing to come to me even not sending me any money. Recently I came to know that he also has a son with first wife. When I was pregnant he aborted my child. He is totally avoiding me. Plz dear brothers and sisters pray for me that my husband should come to me and give me all rights and treat me equally. JazakAllah.

  22. love! thank you very much! :)) masha’Allah to the max! and alhamdulilah, may we all be relieved of our hardships

  23. Assalamalaykum brothers and sisters,

    After reading many of the tests faced by muslims, I would like to advise all of you that FIRST LEAVE the path of sin and then pray to Allah for what you seek . Secondly, continue being OBEDIENT TO ALLAH even if you do not get what you are asking for as Allah knows that it is not good for you. Thirdly, whatever GOOD comes to you easily take it and BE SINCERELY THANKFUL to Allah for it as THIS IS WHAT YOU CAN HANDLE AND BEAR !

    There are billions of people who did not get what you got, hence whatever good comes your way be it even simple things like a healthy wife and kids ( they may not be very handsome /beautiful, they may not be engineers or doctors , but they may on their two feet earning their own money etc;) etc;
    ””
    By being sincerely obedient to Allah ( a must condition ) your “unanswered” dua is rewarded by the GOOD that you get as I mentioned above or will be given in future in nay GOOD form or will be rewarded for in the aakhirah.But just being obedient and being thankful to Allah conitnuously will make you the winner spiritually and mentally as money , fame and power even PHAROAH could not handle and had it taken by force with disgrace by Allah azzah wa jal.

    And to continue to being obedient to Allah is to be around righteous people and seeking help from them after you first aks Allah to help you as these are external factors that bring you clsoe to Allah, even then Allah will test you to see if you would still be obedient to HIm but these tests would make you handle them differently once you are seeking knowledge of Islam and be always on your guard to be away from sins.

    When ever you feel depressed PUSH yourself , get up pray two nafil with sincerity thnking Allah is watching you or you are watching Him and then go play a sport you like, plant a flower and share it with your wife or kids, read a joke form the internet ( a clean one lol) and share it with other, speak to your children and help someone out and BELIEVE IN GETITNG YOURSELF OUT IF IT RIGHT AWAY , do not wait or lie down to have tears of depression overtake you. LEAVE that place where you feel depressed and mentally engage urself with anything that is permissible.

    Salamalaykum warahmatullah

  24. asalam o alaikum all brothers and sisters!

    i have a son and a daughter, my son is autistic. you can imagine the hard time i am facing as a mother. i love him so much, i try so much with him, just to make him speak, do something, my daughter and husband also get neglected. we dont have proper support system for this problem as i live in KSA. i try to focus on prayers but my mind distracts so much, i loose patience, then i cry and pray to Allah, emotionally im attached with him so much i always worry about his future what will he do without me. i know my whole life will be spent with this problem. i dont know what i did wrong to face such a huge problem. i was never a bad person atleast to my knowledge. other parents also have children with disabilities, but i dont know why im not strong enough. we are so blessed with other things in our life, but life has lost all charms for me. but i never loose hope with Allah, this article helped me calm down a lot. anyone reading this message please pray for our family and specially for improvement of my child, and for me that Allah gives me strength and my heart calms down. jazakallah

  25. asalamu alaykum
    I want to thank you for this wonderful article. I need this for more than one reason. I also want to thank the readers who have shared their knowledge and information

    JAK.

  26. Salam brothers and Sisters! I just want you who read My message to pray for me. I have been SAd for long time and dont know what to do. I keep prayinng and reciting quran so Allah can make My dreams come true. I got engaged and after 4 years , we got divorced. Just some months later, i got à proposal and i Said yes and we were about to do neekah but i dont know why, it didnot feel good. I was so happy and Said yes but just arter à time, i regret that i Said yes. My family and he and his family are so worried. Im also worried, Im so afraid. Dont know what to do. Plz give advice and pray for me. Im not Young. Everyone in she are already Mariried and have kids. I also want to Marry and be happy and have kids but st the same time i want to be happy too. I dont know whats wrong with me. Why i change My mind. Its the 2nd time. Plz give advice and mention me in ur prayers

    1. Wa alaikum assalaam warahmatullah Sr. Zahra,

      I’d advice to pray istikharah, ask Allah (SWT) to guide your heart, and make it a really powerful dua. Then rely upon Allah (SWT) to put khair (good) in what comes your way, to give you the strength, perseverance, and wisdom to carry it with confidence. (May it be so, ameen!)

      Here’s an article on istikharah I’d recommend you to read: http://www.suhaibwebb.com/personaldvlpt/worship/power-of-salat-ul-istikhara-abdul-sattar/

  27. im a 23 yr old male when i was younger 16 i was in my deen and i always believed in allah and the last day but when i would go to my local masjid there would be school friends outside standing on the block and for some reason i just chose to sit with them instead of praying my salaat.i missed my salaat except on occasions and lost my way sining in all different ways now ifeel stuck can anyone giv me some advice

  28. Salam admin! May Allah bless you for answering mé. I get very happy when someone give advice. I will inshalla dó istikhara. I just know why i All the time change my mind.. It should not be Like That. I treat family and friends good. I have just problem with husband. Hopefully Allah Will help m through this. Today i Walked to the Beach and threw Allahs mane in the sea and also read 7 suresh Yasin ón 7 leaves and threw Them in Water. i want to mary for my Own sake but also for my family. Their wish is to see mé happy. if you have more advice, let me know. Thanks

    1. Salam. as far as my understanding permits, I believe reciting Allahs name on leaves and throwing them in the sea is bidi’ah. The Prophet (SAW) never did that and we shouldn’t do so to. Just make dua my sister the way the Prophet did and you’ll be fine.

  29. Subhanallah! Allah sent me to this page. I am in the process of writing a motivational essay for my facebook page. I was actually googling the dua to say before addressing a crowd to ensure that whatever I say to my friends on my page is with Allah’s Barakah.
    I didnt know you existed before today. I shall like your facebook page and recommend it to the people on my friends list.
    I started a support group and motivational group as I wanted to summarise and present practical ways to achieve ‘ultimate Ma’rifullah’.
    Jazakallah for the above. I am asking your permission to use some of the material I find relevant to my discussions from time to time. Of course, I shall name you as the source. Will this be in order? Insha-Allah

    Well done and Well written.
    May Allah reward you for every person that has benefitted from your articles. Insha-Allah.

    Best Wishes with Ikhlaas
    Fee Amaanillah

    Wahi Lillah
    https://m.facebook.com/wahi.lillah

  30. Well I think that number 5 is the main point of whole discussion. I just don’t understand what does Allah get out of keeping Muslims poor and short of means to sustain life. I mean if Allah could provide Monsalwa to Bani Israel why can’t He provide us with a bag of hard cash every morning. This will really help us focus on our daily prayers. If Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) was alive today, I would have asked him how to pay for all the bills for 21st Century facilities which were not available 1400 years ago.

  31. PRoductive Muslims You are doing a very good job , May Allah bless you all ! :)
    Salaam from a Muslim brother in Bahrain

  32. I really need Allah’s help since I did my IGCSE’s this year and am waiting for the results. I feel like I am a failure already even though I did not initially think the papers were difficult. I want to make my parents and teachers proud of me and I want admission into a good uni. I don’t want any gifts or celebrations, all i want is good grades and I am willing to donate all my pocket money to charity. I only want good grades. Please pray for me and my whole class that we will be successful in the IGCSE’s.

    1. May Allah give you sincerity, the best kind of success, and enable you to fulfill your purpose. Ameen! Ask Allah (SWT) to give you the best of the dunya and akhirah and trust that whatever He brings your way is best for you. Having this sort of faith in Allah helps one deal with all sorts of outcomes, in sha Allah. I pray the best comes your way. :)

      1. Insha Allah, may Allah help us all in times of distress and hardship. Thank you again for your dua. May Allah be merciful on all of us and and remove all our anxieties for He is the only one who can. Allah has already been very generous with me and fulfills my duas. He has already given me so much and I pray He accepts this dua of mine too.

  33. alhamdulillah brother,
    may allah fullfill your needs in both duniya and akhirah.
    one of the simple and easy to understand explanation i’ve read, may allah grant you more ilm to you and rest of the ummah.

    wassalam.

  34. Asalamu alaykum,
    thank you very much for such concise and inspiring article. I had a miscarriage over a month ago and I still can’t get over it and move on. The scariest part is that I’m afraid my faith has been shaken, and I don’t know what to do to shake that feeling off. This article showed me where to turn for help, although I still have a hard time going through this. I never thought “why me” when I found out that my baby’s heartbeat stopped, (let’s be honest, I’m not an angel, probably it was a punishment from Allah), but I can’t stop thinking that it must be some sort of a sign, it must mean something, cuz I learned about my situation on the first day of Ramadan this year.. So, Thank you very much for this article. Like someone said here in comments – this article needs to be printed out and put on the fridge. InshaAllah, I’ll get through this hard time of my life.

  35. It`s so hard! I never thought I would be laid on my knees and begging like a child. Here I am, weak,fragile and with tears running down my face. As Allah swt says in quran chapter 90 verse 4 “We have certainly created man into hardship.”

    I´m hoping for a way out…

  36. This may sound silly, but it is a reality. I suffer clinical depression, and whenever I get a depressive bout, salaah is furthest from me. I do feel exytremely great regret for not performing salaah, but the depression is overpowering. I become a recluse. When people come to visit me due to my depression, I turn them away. I just lie on my bed day in and day out brooding. This is what depression does to a person. Now tell me, depression is an involuntary illness. It’s symptoms are explained above. Hence will Allah Ta’aala punish me for the salaahs that I miss? When one is depressed the first thing one should turn to is salaah, but ironically it is the first thing that you become distanced from AND YOU CAN’T HELP IT. Please advise. Jazaakallaahu Khair.

    1. Assalaamu alaikum Brother,

      What you experience doesn’t sound silly. In fact, it’s quite common – even in the case of those who may not be depressed, and the reason it is so is because of the lack of quality in our salaah. And the quality/khushu takes time to develop and attain. It’s quality khushu that is what will help.

      We have another article that covers this particular point: http://productivemuslim.com/depression-and-lost-productivity/
      And a short video I’d recommend watching: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oS1oLPYJzOE

      Also, here’s a very interesting true story (video) that I think you’d like to listen to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taqfM8yB1KU

      May Allah envelop your mind and hear in peace and make it easy for you. Ameen.

  37. JazkaAllah
    Needed this
    Please remember me in your Duas please
    Allah to make my heart tranquil in every situation and the truth to Manifest in this world and in the next

  38. Salams! I really appreciate ol des articles, giving me strength and courage to believe, I plan and you plan But Almighty Allah is the best of planners! Jazakallah do remember me and my family in your duas!

  39. Salam,thankz for the beautiful post it’s very encouraging and yes I belief tht every muslim should have faith in Allah n be happy with watever he has planned for us bcoz he does the best for us,may Allah s.w.t guide us on the right path ameen.
    My family had always suffered a lot and still facing many hardships in life,my father is a very strong believer and always says tht we can never complain to Allah n always try to b happy but my mother she gets very troubled after all she is a mother,she had faced many things in her own life but now when we her children r also facing hardships she seems to broken,my elder brother is facing a very tough time got job after 1 yr of hunting but lost after 5 mnths again after 2 yrs of hunting got job but lost in 1 mnth this time after 6 mnths he again got the job in Saudi but not getting transfer papers n job visa as he went there on azad visa.pls is there any particular dua or surah which I can read for his financial stability n job.

    Please everyone out there pls pls pray for my brother as my family is facing financial difficulties now,may Allah help everyone in their difficulties ameen.

  40. sorry… I hate spelling mistakes… just to pointout the right spelling for stay calm is PATIENCE not PATIENT as quoted in the below quranic verse.

    “He that is righteous and patient,- never will Allah suffer the reward to be lost, of those who do right.” (Surat Yousef, Verse 90)

    1. Assalaamu alaikum Brother,

      Thanks for voicing your concern. I’d be happy to correct the typo; however, I believe it isn’t one in this case as the verse is describing the ‘person that is patient’ and not speaking about patience itself. Do you see what I mean?

  41. beautiful…and jazakAllah for sharing.I have a question if some one is cheated even then he does not need to ask for justice?

  42. Assalamualaikum i am a student and looking for a job all of my friends got the job except me how much ever hardwork i am doing i couldn’t get it.. I dont understand why is ALLAH swt doing like that to me

  43. Brothers and sisters salaam to all very inspiring read which has helped calm my mental status. Please make dua for me I’m in the brink of losing my job, at the same time losing my wife I’m facing so much financial hardship I’m drowning with debt. I try and keep myself on straight path however I believe I’m being punished for previous mistakes I have made and do not have the courage to ask Allah for forgiveness although I repent and will never follow the evil path that I was on. Please can you all pray that Allah make my difficulties easy for me keeps me away from satan. Jazakallah khir

    1. Inshallah I will pray for you brother.

      Last week I got caught up in a car accident. Basically, another hit from behind which resulted in no damage. I didn’t want to do anything about it as both drivers do not want to do take it further. So person in my car wants to claim for injury. I am stuck in what to do. I do not want things to fall on me and I am stressed about. It affects me with everything such as; study, work etc.

      Thing is I am caught in a mess. I request duas please.

  44. Please pray for me in a 17 year d muslims girl and constantly feel like I’m a bad Muslim. I pray and do so much but my anxiety makes me feel depressed all the time! Whenever I’m happy I get scared that ill be sad again! I think about little sins so much that I feel like I can’t even do anything without thinking I’m sinning! I know Islam is supposed to be easy but my habit if over thinking and anxiety is making me die inside! I’m asking whoever is reading this to please make dua for me, I’m so young I want to be happy and enjoy life while still praying and remember Allah! Inshahallah! Thanks

    1. @Lalalal – Apologies for the late response.

      MashaAllah, it’s good to see you having a strong conscience and making an effort to be a good Muslim. May Allah keep you steadfast. Ameen.

      As Muslims, we’re ideally supposed to be living in hope and fear – hope in Allah’s (SWT) mercy and fear of the consequences of our actions; whether the good among them have been accepted, whether the bad ones have been forgiven. However, we’re never supposed to lose hope and living in such anxiety could be crippling.

      Here’s a talk on “Never Give Up Hope” that I think you’ll find inspirational: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BNIfki5qdw

      And here are two of our articles on thinking positively. I hope they help.

      http://productivemuslim.com/positive-thinking-to-boost-productivity/
      http://productivemuslim.com/combating-negative-thinking/

  45. Masha Allah, great reminder. I like this section the most “Whenever a ProductiveMuslim faces hardship, he/she takes a step back from their difficult situation and thinks about it from a higher level. They step back from their life with all its worries, anxieties, problems, and thinks about it from an Akhira perspective, then they ask themselves the question: what does this ALL mean when compared to the Hereafter? What does this ALL mean when compared to eternity in Jannah?” It really make me thinking. Jazak Allah khairan.

  46. Assalamu alaikum wr wb
    am 21 years and a student of engineering
    I am going through a hard phase of my life and I need someone to talk to..if any sister is willing to help me out please give me your email id so that I can inbox you..
    jazakallahu khair

    1. hi i hope your okay sister just keep on going and remember allah. Always know that allah only tests those he loves and know that allah always has a better future for us than we could ever think of. i will leave you with this in mind that aving Allah on your side doesn’t mean sailing the ocean with no waves, but having Allah on your side means sailing in such a ship which no storm can sink.

      i wish you all the best in life sister take care

  47. Salam..jazakallah..may Allah repay u for the kind words and wisdom u have shared and full filled Ur duty as a Muslim..here is hoping we do d same now.

  48. Assalamu Alaikum! I’m a girl from Sri Lanka. My family is trapped with many sorts of problems. My parents are in dept now, my dream was to study well. But now my parents are not in the situation to spend for my studies. So now I’m going for a job and earning for my parents and my brother. My parents are suffering in debt, they want to give me in marriage but they aren’t able to search for proposals also, because of the expenses. We always pray to Allah (swt) to give us Barakath and to clear our debts very soon, In Shaa Allah! Please make Dua for us, Allah’s Dear Slaves!!!

  49. aslmualaykum…… i have two children 3 year old daughter and 2 year old son…… i live in belgium my husband was illegal here in belgium during financial problem he was working in black with out any papers…. for his family to survive…… he got arrested 1 month ago and been put in close center where other illegal immigration people are…. now im left alone with 2 children and 7 months pregnant i have no one i have no hope left for him to come back home as he will be deported back where he came from……im facing alot difficulties no one is helping me even the lawyer cant do anything as my children are not registered on his name….. i read i pray i read wazeefa i read khatham i do everything what ever comes in my heart to please ALLAH…… but none of my prays have come true….. im just waiting for a miracle to happen……dont know what to do?…….

  50. Thanks for this article, after reading this my iman gets fresh,stroger, once again thanks and jazakallah………….

  51. I had an uni exam today and my mother keep shouting and fighting with me, that i was barely able to study in the previous days, and now she blames me for no studying when i was trying my very best while her fighting .
    This is really injustice i don’t if i failed or not but i really would have passed if i was just capable of studying without my mother being around.

    1. Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullah,

      Yesterday I got my second year uni results. I was in such a mess throughout my second year of study and there is a list of things but I just don’t want to talk about it. The thing that I want to raise is that I failed two modules which I got referral in both so I can re take this month. In other two modules I have got below a 2:1.

      In semester B made up for the mess but it was not enough to turn it all around. Alhamdulilah I at the right time reacted well otherwise would have saw myself in a tough situation. I tried not to stress and after receiving results today just was happy but not stressed out.

      I see myself in a tough situation and I do want to apply for jobs, graduate schemes etc but my grades don’t look good.

      I always see myself struggling sometimes. This could be when I am stuck I waste time on the internet, I end up falling into bad path, there are family problems which tends to distract me, I don’t get work done when I am supposed to, I am sometimes tired and so on. Also, I get things done in the last moment whether it is revision or assignment work.

      I am asking for advice on how to move forward and to make sure I actually do well from September for third year Uni.

      I need help in life. I am not fully sure what I want to do in my future career in what I am doing as part of my degree.

      I request duas and it would be greatful if someone can advise me on certain things. I feel I am stuck in life.

  52. I am a soon to be 32 year female and have been reading all the posts. I am single never married and don’t know if I ever will. I am so despondent about the whole fact and my entire family has given up on me. They have turned me into an outcast. My mother’s criticisms are taking a toll on me. She sometimes tells me that I have a big mouth and I will make no man happy, that I will rot in my room and die a hold hag. I am also studying so this affects me a lot. She tells me I waste my time studying. This has caused me to feel very inferior and lose all confident. I read salaat and make so much dua but I meet all the wrong people. Those that lie, cheat, say they are even divorced in the mean time they are married or separated. I have had very near misses but one cheated on me and the other…well lets just say I wanted to live on my own and not with in laws. I wanted my privacy and to keep the peace. Yet Allah still bring guys into my life who want to live with parents. I am not saying that I do not want to look after his parents. I am saying that I grew up sharing a room with 3 other siblings and I always thought when I get married I will live on my own. I am not saying I am a saint. I even went out with a non muslim man and he didn’t want to convert when he found out that my parents would not accept a revert. My parents are all about social status. My 3 brothers don’t even worry about me or care they have a sister. I am so lost. Its affecting my life, my whole world. Sometimes I can’t even make dua because I am so lost.

    1. Assalaamualaikum wa rahmatullah Sr. Anisa,

      Your despair is definitely understandable – especially when much emphasis is placed on the lack of hope an individual has in getting married, more so when they pass a certain age. Of course, while we are encouraged to get married at an early age in Islam, know that no matter how much we plan for our life to be a certain way, Allah also HIS own plans in the works and more than anyone, “Allah is the is the best of Planners (8:30). So while you may feel like losing hope and believing what is being said to you, remember these verses from the Quran: “And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah [God] knows but you do not know.” (2:216).

      It’s sometimes hard to know why these things happen to us, but what we CAN affirm with certainty is that there is wisdom behind them. Perhaps those “near misses” were meant to save you from getting into a relationship which would have ended horribly, thus broadening your perspective on what to look for in a potential spouse. Remember that when we make dua to Allah, it gets answered in three ways, one of which is that the dua-maker is saved from something evil! You can read more about duas here: http://islamqa.info/en/5113.

      This is the dua of Prophet Musa (as) that you can make specifically for marriage: “My Lord, indeed I am in need of whatever good you send down to me.” (28:24). And of course, if you don’t have the words to express yourself, know that Allah knows what is in our hearts – and He is aware of the sorrow and pain that you are feeling.

      Additionally, have you considered exploring other avenues to find a suitable spouse? For example, online websites (www.purematrimony.com, http://www.muslimharmony.com) and matrimonial sessions at your local Islamic Institution are definitely a good place to start.

      When feeling lost, it sometimes helps to reflect on our purpose in life: why are we here and what were we created for. While there is no doubt that getting married is something we should strive for, remember that our ultimate goal in this world is to worship Allah: “We did not create the jinn and men except to worship us.” (51:56 ). So in the meantime, ask yourself whether you are doing this through the things that are currently taking up your time. More importantly, take the opportunity to strengthening your relationship with Allah. Not just by praying five times day, but by doing it with kushoo, for example (http://productivemuslim.com/how-to-gain-tranquility-in-your-prayer-series-part-1/), purifying your intentions, engaging in constant dhikr, and reading the Quran daily.

      With regards to your mother saying those things to you, perhaps that is her way of venting her own frustration and anxiety at your current situation because in her own unique way, she is expressing that she really cares about your well being and happiness. I understand that it is disheartening to not have your family’s support at a time when you need it most. However, don’t let that be a reason for you to disrespect her, because above all people, our mothers are most deserving of our kindness. When you find yourself getting angry, try your utmost best to respond calmly and if that is difficult, remain silent and/or walk away. In the jist of a hadith, the Prophet advised us that when we get angry and are standing, we should sit down, and if we are sitting down we should lie down.

      To end, I hope you can find comfort in these beautiful and consoling verses from the Quran:

      “…And whoever fears Allah – He will make for him a way out. And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.” (65:2-3)

      May Allah make easy for you your difficulties, reward you for your patience, and help you find a righteous spouse, in sha Alllah!

  53. Assalamu alaikum

    Dear Sister Anisa and those all who all are depressed

    May Allah swt ease your ways. May he relieve all your worries, anxieties. May he grant his peace upon you all.

    May Allah swt solve all your problems and make all your life fruitful here and accepted in hereafter.

    May the peace and blessings of Alla swt be on our prophet Mohammed.

    And our final prayer is All praises and thanks to the Rabb of the worlds

  54. I am desperately in need of duas, I have very important exam results coming soon and I can’t let my parents down. They expect so much from me. The exams were hard and so was the whole year. I had to teach myself and I don’t know what to do now. I feel like a failure and extremely useless. I can’t let my parents down especially my mother, she’s done so much for me. Please pray for me, I know there are lots of people whose problems make mine look like nothing but I’m desperate. Please.

    1. Assalaamualikum wa rahmatullah,

      First and foremost, while its understandable why you are worried and feeling anxious, remember that there is khair (goodness) in all that Allah’s puts us through. If you do poorly in your exams, then the outcome will surely be of benefit to you in some way or another, whether immediately or in the long run! As Allah reminds us – “And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know” (2:216).

      Of course, its always easy to think negatively and fear the worst! But with your exams already done, that type of thinking is not going to be of any benefit to you. Alternatively, think positive – if you tried your best, whatever happens will be for the best too. Doing poorly is surely not a sign of failure, nor is it a reflection of your self-worth. Rather think of it as an opportunity to reevaluate your study habits and reflect on what went wrong so that you can do even better next time :)

      In the meantime, here are some duas you can make:

      “O Allah, set right for me my religion which is the safeguard of my affairs. And set right for me the affairs of my world wherein is my living. And set right for me my Hereafter on which depends my after-life. And make the life for me (a source) of abundance for every good and make my death a source of comfort for me protecting me against every evil.” (Muslim 6565)

      “O Allaah benefit me with what You have taught me, and teach me that which will benefit me, and grant me knowledge which will benefit me.”

      Hope this helps, in sha Allah :)

  55. Besmallah alrahman alraheem, it’s my first time here and allah only knows what I’m going through.
    وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُمْ بِشَيْءٍ مِنَ الْخَوْفِ وَالْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِنَ الْأَمْوَالِ وَالْأَنْفُسِ وَالثَّمَرَاتِ وَبَشِّرِ الصَّابِرِينَ * الَّذِينَ إِذَا أَصَابَتْهُمْ مُصِيبَةٌ قَالُوا إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ
    . رَاجِعُونَ أُولَئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَاتٌ مِنْ رَبِّهِمْ وَرَحْمَةٌ وَأُولَئِكَ هُمُ الْمُهْتَدُونَ

    I am literally going through through what this holy verse describes, I am facing a really hard time and I have no solution in my hands, its all in allah’s hands. Ya Allah I need your help so much please don’t forget me, don’t give up on me you are my only resort my only savior I beg you help me out of this hardship I am so lost already and can take no more. Help me allah stand up on my feet, help me find a job help me get my life back together again please I have nothing ya allah, I beg you help me find a job and make a living, please please help me make up for my sins and mistakes I need your forgiveness and mercy beyond words. I know my faults and want to fix them to have your love and mercy again, give me the chance ya allah I am so lost now I have nothing but what you said the fear, the lack of money, I have no job and I am alone… its Ramadan the month of mercy and forgiveness
    I beg of you to forgive me ya allah help me through this desperate time – la ellah ella ant swbhanak eny kont men al zalemeen – I have strayed away and I need you to take me back, you said you will please do. Please whomever reads this make a duaa for me. May allah grant us all his mercy.

    1. Walaikum salaam. I’ve read the post. This got me thinking I had similar problem last year. I had great difficulty plus pressure for job. I found it hard not having job. I kept looking and something came along. I’m working now. Law of averages says for example apply for 50 jobs or 100. At least one will come to you. I’ve got to few useful job websites which were useful. Inshallah may Allah help you, guide you and make whatever is difficult for you easy.

  56. Great Article, I am now under a huge mental & physical stress but I believe in Allah that he will find best for me, my family and my parents Insha’Allah. We all do work hard to make this life and hereafter pleasurable. Allah is Kareem. SubhannAllah.

    1. Thanks for dropping by, Br. Sajid. Keep up the faith. May Allah strengthen your iman and make you firm upon it, and may He ease your affairs and reward you for your patience. Ameen.

  57. Plz pray for me brothers and sisters m going through a great difficulty!! In this holy month plz make dua for every person of saw(let peace be upon him) ummah!

  58. Salaam alay kum,

    Dear brother and Sisters , I come from a big family that now are no longer together. This was mainly due to the faults of the head of the family my so called father.
    My father was the worst type of bully that you could ever meet. My mother passed away over 20 years ago I have never really got of that. She died of cancer and was a highly principled woman, a simple woman at heart and a Allah fearing righteous woman. During her sickness my father persisted in being aggressive to her and even cast her out of the family house . What kind of man does this to her sick wife. This so called man was praying 5 times a day. I cannot even mentioned some of wickedness this man has done to my family. Can there exist a man who is jealous and bear nothing but hatred for his children??? This so called five time praying man. I lived with him for over 15 years after my mother had passed away giving him dowa and hoping that he would come correct on the straight path. During these 15 years I was living under this tyrant and I began to develop a way to try to escape his oppression by smoking weed to try and escape from this mans demeanor.
    I m forty years and he has re married again and does not care not a cent for any of his children . Alhumdilla I have broken the circle of smoking but I’m homeless now.
    I wanted to leave but could not due to my love for him and trying to do the right thing in dean.
    I wish that I had left sooner and just got on with my life. now he has children and is trying to make amends with them by giving them all his wealth that he has acquired through the assistance of my mother and other family.
    I have never made any duals against anyone as that is not in my nature , but today I m tempted to ask Allah to bring punishment to him today , I don’t think i will but that is what I feel like to do .
    Brothers and sisters why has this fitna landed. Sometimes I ask Allah why he had to take my mother and not him .
    I will never forgive him for his wanton hatred for his family, all affairs ultimately return to Allah but why do I always feel helpless in trying to get justice with this man.

    Salaams Mohammed

    1. Wa alaikumussalaam warahmatullah Br. Mohammed,

      Thank you for trusting us to share your hardships here. It’s truly sad to hear what you’ve been through. We pray Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) rewards you for your patience and changes it all to something better than could have imagined. Ameen.

      Perhaps the reason why you cannot bring yourself around to ‘seeking justice’ or praying against your father is because deep down, you know it’s not the right thing. Justice is for Allah; He – Al-Aleem (the All-Knowing), the Al-Khabeer (the All-aware) truly knows what each of us has been the through, what is in our hearts, and what each of us deserves. May Allah reward you for your patience.

      I understand your situation is difficult and it’s hard to be positive in the circumstances. But it may help to remember life is short, really short. Rather than expending your energy and peace of mind & heart on these negative thoughts, I would strongly advise you to recite the following dua in abundance:

      The Prophet (sallAllahu alaihi wasallam) said: If any servant (of Allah) who suffers a calamity says: “Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raj’ioon. Allahumma ajurni fee museebati wakhlif lee khairan minha” — “We belong to Allah and to Him shall we return; O Allah, reward me for my affliction and give me something better than it in exchange for it,” ‘ Allah will give him reward for affliction, and would give him something better than it in exchange.
      [http://www.sunnah.com/muslim/11/5]

      He taught this dua to Umm Salama. You can read more about it in the above link.

      Have yaqeen (firm faith) that Allah will help. Pray for your father’s guidance. In sha Allah, He will help.

      This article may also help you, in sha Allah: http://productivemuslim.com/dealing-with-tribulations-productively/

      May Allah bring ease and happiness to you. Ameen.

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