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  1. Assalamu alaikum dear Naima Asma,
    JazakiLah khairan og barakaLah feeki for sharing this with us. Just in this very moment I was asking my self about `what is my role of beeing a friend in the way of sunna and a productive living?`…Allahu Akbar and ProductiveMuslim brought this article to me here and now…AlhamduliLah…

    The hårdest thing is to my opinion as you wrote:
    We all know these people who are never pleased with anything and constantly feel the need to criticize. Nobody wants to spend excessive time with them because they tend to drag you down with them and put you in a bad mood as well….

    1. some is lucky if you are able to point this people out?
    2.what to do if they want to spend exessive time with you AND at the same time you want to help them by having them close to you?
    3. how can you be honest to them without loosing them?

    I make dua for us all.
    Assalamu alaikum warahmatuLah wabarakaTuh

    • Wa3alaikum Salam Zeineb. Thank you for your very kind words. I’m glad the article came out at exacly the right time for you. I can definitely relate to your situation. Sometimes we can’t choose whom to be around and have to deal with people you tend to have negative views. It is always good to make du’a for that person and du’a for yourself, so that Allah gives you patience to deal with it. Surround yourself with good company, people that uplift your spirit so to speak in order to balance out the negativity insha’Allah. I hope this helps you a bit. May Allah bless you. :)

  2. Wow mashAllah brilliant article. May Allah bless you immensely for your advice. I pray we all use it to become better individuals just like our beloved prophet. Peace and blessings be upon him, Ameen

  3. i want to be a part of the productive relationships community. I was feeling lost and then I found my “good company ” friends. they’ve helped me through many bad times.

  4. Great..Interesting…Tank you very much …would you mind correcting “….Prophet (glorified and exalted be He)” in the ” Hereafter” paragraph.

  5. those tips have reminded me of the things which i sometimes overlook them esp smiling. I thought when you smile too much some sort of seriousness will vanish and make it impossible to command people whom you are leading.but now i have to learn to change my perspective In sha Allah. Jazakallahu Khairan

  6. MasyaAllah, well written. We should have realize how this matter can actually be a stepping stone in our journey towards His pleasure, to Him. May Allah make us among those who first and foremost keeping it all for the sake of Him, before anything else, and make us among those who have Taqwa -as indeed, we’ve been reminded on that Day friends will be enemies to each others except the righteous, that we shall flee from one another and care for no one but ourselves-… May we be the people of excellence, amin. Jazakum Allah khair for sharing this.

  7. Slm. A comprehensive write up indeed! If we all adopt these advice sincerely, our communities will be nice places to live.

  8. sometime i’m losing the quality aspect that you have mentioned above especially showing smile to others. Thanks to your article, it reminds me how to be a good muslim and make other people happy as well

  9. JazkAllah Khayr. I really wanted to have productive friends.
    So the takeaway I think is I become productive Muslim and I will naturally attract productive friends. May Allah makes it for me to be productive Muslim and for every one who visit this awesome site. Ameen.

  10. JazakAllah u khairan :) It’s so useful. More over, in this society where people are mostly connected with gadgets and less with humans such kinds of articles really helps to boost up human relationships and All Praise to Allah that Islam deals with being creative and productive :)

  11. Asalam wa leykum ,I cant keep friends as sometimes I dont have time 4 them,im always with tmy children,and Im always alone,sometimes I feel sad,because I always chase my friends away,I m always disaponted by friends,so I find it difficult to make friends,thanks 4 the article I wil try my best to be a better muslima

  12. Jazakallah..truly it is the most simple things like smiling or saying
    “I love you” which can really make a difference. Infact, just earlier I
    looked deeply into my child’s glistening eyes whilst he spoke to me
    and I caught them gleaming with happiness that he was receiving my love
    and undivided attention.

  13. Alhamdulah the best thing is to have loving family and friends who are free of positive peer pressure nd lastly love for the sake of Allah.thanks Abu that was real productive.

  14. MashaALLAH.Thank you and may The APPRECIATIVE ONE reward for spending time and effort researching in order to make this writeup in Islamic . Let me point out though, following the injunctions of The Holy Qur’aan is not different The Prophet SallALLAHU alaiHi wa sallam, who is the living Qur’aan as pointed out by our mother,Syedat A’isha,when she was asked about The Prophet’s lifestyle”He is Qur’aan on its legs”.His sunnah is the Qur’aan practicalised.Thus,instead of”At the same time…”in the 2nd para under Hereafter,”Therefore,or Thereby,…..”would have been more appropriate.

  15. Mashaa Allah very interesting indeed and may Allah help us to keep good friends closer but honestly no matter how much I try love to keep my friends closer am un able because am poor in communicating with others. I usually go out of the topic and out of mind where sometimes I say thinks that may annoy them or even sometimes they judge me as shallow minded or a kid. may Allah s.w help me to overcome this……. AMEEN YA ALLAH

  16. Salam

    I find it hard to make and keep friends as I seek genuine relationships. I can give unconditionally but back away when I find that person is not genuine, ie just taking and not giving. Most people will just take. Is it not dishonesty to keep up a relationship only for what you can get?

    • Waalaikumasalaam Sr. Aisha,

      It is definitely frustrating to have those whom you’ve invested so much time and emotions into not reciprocate the efforts. While we’re all social beings by nature, I’d like to share this quote with you which tells us why, when we get attached to people, we end up feeling disappointed: “We can’t blame the laws of physics when a twig snaps because we leaned on it for support. The twig was never created to carry us” (taken from: http://www.yasminmogahed.com/2011/11/13/why-do-people-have-to-leave-each-other/) . When we become dependent on others, we are setting ourselves up for heartbreak because the reality is exactly as you described – there is an imbalance in how much we give and how much we get in return, because people were never meant to be the ones we turned too to heal us, complete us, and be our ultimate source of happiness. Rather, Allah was.

      This doesn’t mean, however, that you shouldn’t depend on people. When the Prophet (pbuh) first received Revelation from Angel Gibrael, he immediately ran to his wife, Khadijah, and told her that he needed her. Likewise, the Prophet (pbuh) also had a best friend – Abu Bakr (r.a.). So this isn’t to say that we can’t depend on people. However, reflect upon what you need your friends for. Because in seeking out friends and relationships with others, we shouldn’t let them replace our dependency on Allah for fulfillment. Rather, when we give to your friends, give for the sake of pleasing Allah. Help them because you know this is something Allah commands us to do. For example, The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Whoever removes a grief from a believer from amongst the sorrows of this life, Allah will remove a grief from him amongst the sorrows of the Day of Resurrection. Whoever brings ease to one in difficulty, Allah will make it easy for him in this life and the Hereafter. Whoever covers a Muslim, Allah will cover him in this life and the Hereafter. Allah is in aid of the servant so long as the servant is in aid of his brother…” (Sahih Muslim).

      Naturally, with all of us living our own lives, fulfilling different priorities and striving for different goals, it’s inevitable that we’ll sometimes be put second. When we know that Allah is rewarding us for our actions, regardless of whether or not we get something in return from others, you’ll find that it’s easier to have friends who may not always give back to same degree that you do.
      Another point I’d like to mention is that when making friends, think about why you’re friends with them. What purpose are they serving in your life? Are they worth it? These are two articles which I believe you’ll find beneficial:
      http://productivemuslim.com/4-steps-towards-faithful-friendship/
      http://productivemuslim.com/maintain-productive-friendships/

      Lastly, sometimes when we are disappointed by others, it’s the perfect opportunity for us to turn to Allah, draw closer to Him, and strengthen our relationship with Him. Because unlike people, He will always be there in our lives, waiting for us to call on Him, seeking His assistance, His comfort, His guidance, and whatever else it is that we need from Him. So yes, while it is not fair to you to be in a friendship where others are not genuinely making the effort to invest in the relationship, ask yourself whether this may be a blessing in disguise and an opportunity to become friends with those who are worth the time :)

      Hope this helps!

      • Jazakallah khair for the detailed reply

        May Allah reward you for this site, its truly a manual for productivity as a muslim.

        From reading your reply I learned that ultimately all our interactions are for his sake(swt). To be productive we need a combination of action and intention.I used to feel dishonest if im interacting with someone knowing full well their limitations, but no one will be perfect and just as you said people were not created to fill us. When observing the interactions of others who seem to be able to make and maintain productive relationships, they are essentially reciprocal. The balance will no doubt go up and down but knowing you are to receive the ultimate reward from Allah(swt) makes it easier.

        jazakallah again and may he reward you and your whole team with the ultimate reward in dunya and akhirah.