Motherhood is a blessing which has been given to us by Allah (glorified and exalted be He). It’s full of ups and downs, tears and laughs. At times tiring, other times energising. Let’s face it, being a mother in the 21st century is not easy; so here are a few tips to keep you on your toes.
What is motherhood? The responsibility of nurturing a child. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) stated: ‘Paradise lies at the feet of your mother’ [Sunan An-Nasâ’i]. This clearly indicates the importance of mothers and the high status they were given by Allah (glorified and exalted be He) and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him). Mothers are the first point of comfort in a horrible situation, and therefore motherhood should not be taken as a light matter.
A man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship?’ The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said: ‘Your mother.’ The man said, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said: ‘Then your mother.’ The man further asked, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said: ‘Then your mother.’ The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said: ‘Then your father.’ [Muslim].
While there is an abundance of tips on fulfilling one’s role as a mother, here are a few important ones I have compiled for you:
1. Pray to Allah: Make regular dua to Allah, the power of dua is so immense. Say: “My Lord! Grant me righteous offspring.” [Quran: Chapter 37, Verse 100] as much as you can.
2. Strive to be caring and compassionate: Be patient with your child whatever the situation. Always remember children are innocent and need your mercy. The following was reported about the Messenger of Allah (glorified and exalted be He) : “I never saw anyone who was more compassionate towards children than Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him). His son Ibrahim was in the care of a wet nurse in the hills around Madinah. He would go there, and we would go with him, and he would enter the house, pick up his son and kiss him, then come back.” [Muslim]
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said: “A’isha, verily Allah is kind and He loves kindness and confers upon kindness which he does not confer upon severity and does not confer upon anything else besides it (kindness). [Muslim]
3. Praise them regularly: This is a very powerful technique and will make them proud of themselves and confident.
4. Ensure your child loves Allah (glorified and exalted be He): Reminding them of all the blessings Allah (glorified and exalted be He) has showered upon them i.e. the eyes, ears, tongue, legs, etc. the list is endless. This will instill only love and make them appreciative and grateful towards Allah (glorified and exalted be He). Also, in adulthood, it will incline them to the way of Allah (glorified and exalted be He) inshallah.
5. Be very friendly: This includes having regular talks about random things, this will make them feel comfortable with you in the long run. Also play with your child as much as possible; trust me – they love this kind of thing.
6. Teach them responsibility: From a young age give them responsibilities i.e. for their toys and rooms.
7. Keep them away from gadgets: In this fast growing environment it’s so hard to keep up with technology for adults let alone children. Have we stopped to wonder how this is affecting our lifestyles? In the name of efficiency and effectiveness, a new gadget is released for kids almost every day. You should try and encourage your child to play outside rather than on the PSP or iPhone. Encourage them to read a book rather than playing on the computer. I found that the more gadgets a child has, the lazier they become.
8. Inspire them: Rather than making them fantasize about Spiderman and Barbie, tell them about real heroes like Abu Baqr as Sadiq, Umar, Uthman and Ali (may Allāh be pleased with them). For the girls, Asiya, Maryam, Khadiha and Fatima [ranham]. Tell them how these heroes and heroines strove for Allah (glorified and exalted be He) and how they spread Islam.
9. Involve them in acts of worship: If they grow up with your Islamic character, it won’t be a burden for them when they are older. Pray with them, recite Quran together, and discuss Islamic issues with them as a family. If they grow up seeing these values in effect from childhood, they will easily accept them when they grow up. They will understand it’s the best way of life.
10. Differentiate between halal and haram: You need to explain to a child what is permissible to them from Allah (glorified and exalted be He) and what is forbidden. They need to know in terms of eating haram and halal, as well as actions that are halal or haram like free mixing etc.
11. Bedtime stories: This has been a very popular way of putting a child to sleep. You can read to them the dua’s of sleeping and the importance of it. Explain to them how the angels will protect them by reciting ayat ul kursi as prescribed by the Rasool of Allah (glorified and exalted be He).
Something to keep you motivated through your journey of motherhood:
The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) of Allah (glorified and exalted be He) said “whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood, He and I will come together on the day of resurrection and he interlaced his fingers.” (Meaning in paradise) [Al adab Al mufrad]
I as a mother have faced many challenges, and above are the things I felt worked for my children and made motherhood a little easier SubhaanAllah. Please share your own tips to help others in their motherhood journey!
About the Author:
Sofia Nasir is a mother of three, alhumdulillah. She is a student of knowledge and looking into writing as a career.