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  1. Subhanallah such beautiful reminders and action plans.
    I have a question how do you deal with toddlers that have tantrums?

    • Each child is different. So what you’d do depends on your child. I have 2 children who are completely different in temperament. The first child is mild mannered and knew when I was not happy with him. So I ignored his tantrums and he soon learned to stop because it didn’t get him anywhere.

      With my other child, I couldn’t ignore him because he was more emotional and did things that could hurt himself such as kicking the door really hard with his bare foot and banging his head on the door. With this child he needed to calm down first so he had to be held in an embrace until he calmed down.

      I’ve found this to be true with older preschool children as well. There are some children whose parents gave into their tantrums and expected me to do so as well. I have the same two options, either ignore or hold. I look at their temperament. There are some that just needed to be iignored and they soon learnt to not throw tantrums when I say no. Then there are others who just needed to be held until they calmed down.

      So try to understand your child’s temperament and inshaAllah it should help you to decide on what to do.

    • Thank you for your kind comment. Alhamdulillah, that was what I was aiming for. I think parenting is easier (not easy but easier) when we remember these basic principles.

  2. Asalamualaikum,
    I just read your post about 5 principles of Islamic parenting.
    I must first of all thank you all for making that post and alhamdilulah I have learnt a great lesson from it. I just subscribed newly but I am very pleased with this site. Looking forward for more posts about Islam.
    May Allah bless you all! Have a nive day:)

    • Wa alaykum salam,
      Alhamdulillah that I was able to write it. I’m glad that you’re able to take something positive from it. Alhamdulillah.
      May you have a blessed day full of rewards.

  3. Assalamalaikum my name is Sarwat. I am a mother of three children,two of them are teenagers. I ‘ve been coming across it really hard to raise them in the Uk.where they compare everything with their peers and take religion as a burden. Life is hard for them when they are restricted to wear modest and long clothes.They are not allowed to hangout with friends.I am really stuck how to keep them away from things those are very fancy and attractive.they get distracted pretty fast with long and dry lectures.kindly guide me how should I treat them?

    • Wa alaykum salam Sarwat.

      It sounds as though you’re having a trying time keeping your teenagers safe from bad influences. You’re not alone. Many parents worried about this as well.

      We have to remember that if we restrict our children in one way then we need to provide an alternative. If they can’t hang out with friends then where is a better place for them to hang out? It could be at a local Muslim youth organisation. Look for organisations that you trust that have youth meetings, outings, gatherings and so on. Every time you feel that your children are restricted then think of something that is better for them that they can relate to.

      And Allah knows best. May Allah make it easy for you and all parents in the same situation.

  4. A very useful article indeed. Jazakallahu khairan for very effective and very educative write up. May Almighty Allah rewards you in this world and thereafter.

    • Thank you for the summarized parental guidance. I wish I knew this when my kids were babies. Is it possible to reverse any damage done during parenting our kids? Such as being too strict, and punishment? And how?
      Jazak Allah Khairan

      • Ea, I believe that it’s never too late to undo anything as Allah is Merciful and He allows us to make up for our past mistakes. It might not be easy but it’s not too late, insha Allah.

        One way to reverse any damage is to try to build a better relationship with your children now. How do you do that? Well there are three ways that I’ve used with my children since they were little to nurture our relationship: spend quality time together; talk positively and listen actively; and provide encouragement and support.

        Not sure if I can mention this here but if you want more details on this then visit my ilmaeducation blog and search ‘How to Improve Your Relationship with Your Child’. This is actually a mini parenting guide and workbook that I sell on Amazon. As a special for Productive Muslim readers I will give it to anyone for free if they hope onto my blog, subscribe and write a review for it on Amazon. Just type in ‘ProdMuslim’ in the Last Name field so that I’ll know to send it to you.

  5. Aa great advice as always. jazak Allahu khairun for sharing. It is difficult to control the child’s environment as they get older. But this is a good reminder to constantly be a good example for our kids and always remember the parents age their heroes and they will mimic you even when they don’t consciously try.

    • Wa iyaki sister.

      There’s a saying that goes “I hear, I forget. I see, I remember. I do, I understand.” If we only lecture to children, they’ll forget. If they see us doing it then they’ll remember it. But if we actively encourage them to do it, then they’ll understand it.

  6. Assalamualaiku I really liked the way to bring children up,it has given me lots of ideas how to help my children zazakAllah

  7. Asalamu’alaikum , This is very good reminder to do act with our children before act with ourselves. There you demonstrated the good causes why children going to another direction and how to cope with their behavior . May Allah bless you for this valuable article and give you support for write a more.

  8. Alhamdulillah, great reminders for parents. I try myself to keep me calm down when the child misbehaves but I can’t. I share these reminders with other parents as well. Jazakallah.

  9. This article makes me reflect a lot on how I was brought up and when I compared my sis to me.

    I am considered the lucky one as I was blessed with hidayah when I was still a teen.
    Due to a certain sickness I had and the fear of dying in a sinful state was my greatest motivation to change.

    My sis however is still searching for a good reason to overcome her personal obstacles that are preventing her from practicing Islami.

    One reason being the people she mixes with are non religious muslims and non muslims.

    She fears that being a muslim would affect her social life, work life and over all safety.

    Especially when she is going to work in the law sector.

    My parents always preach about the importance.of prayers and we should have good akhlak and be a proud muslim. I guess its not enough to ensure both me and sis grow up to be a practicing muslim huh?

    • Thank you for sharing your story. It shows that Allah guides those whom He wills. The only thing we can do is try to raise our children as best as we can based on the Qur’an and Sunnah and make lots of dua. (What you and your parents can do now is to make lots of dua for your sister.)

  10. Allahu Akbar!
    Salam alaykum, I am so delighted. Am sure going to be putting this into practice. I have a daughter a little above a year and I believe this will go a long way helping out

    • I don’t claim to be an expert on teenagers even though I have 2. Most of my experiences are with young children but these 5 principles are the most basic and should apply to teenagers as well. I think you’re refering to teenage issues that can develop if these 5 fundamental principles are not practiced.

      My theory is that if parents have a close open relationship with their child then most teenage problems might not arise. I could be wrong but so far, alhamdulillah, it has worked for me.

      Let me know specifically what issues you would like addressed.

      • It was very kind of you that you gave a reply to my comment. I was referring teenage issues especially haram relationship. It’s spreading fast throughout the Muslim societies. When I see my teenage cousins are engaged in relationship I feel extremely sad but I can’t do anything as they are not under my control.My mom is not friendly with us and my youngest sister is reaching teenage within some months.As her eldest sister I want to protect her from those issues.

        • Thanks for clarifying. It is a problem everywhere. I will look into it and maybe someone will write on it.

          Btw, I’ve just reread my earlier reply and had to laugh at my ‘close open’ relationship phrase. What? lol It doesn’t make sense! What I meant was a close relationship with open communications :)

  11. Dear my brother in Islam. Thank you so much for this wonderful article. Jezakellah. I think we have been practicing some of these principles though we don’t know them as principles. being a model to a child is very important and we have to do it regularly. We also need to be be consistent. Recently, I visited my family after being away for a couple of months and I heard my 2 years old daughter saying a bad word ( an insult actually) to her brother. I heard her saying again and again and I was shocked. Later, I recognized that the word is being used by her elder sister and brothers. I didn’t shout, but I gathered them all and seriously tell them not to say it again. The little child could not understand me but I gave her a gentle pinch on her arms and she cried. Then, she stopped saying the word again not only because I pinched her but because her elders stopped using the word. Yes, it is right to scan the environment before we take actions on our children. As you said, they are innocent and clean.

  12. May Allah continue to increase your knowledge. I am not yet a parent but this analysis is in line with my thoughts. Its so amazing how you balance it with islam and i really appreciate that, it goes to show that truly you developed the habit of reading the Quran because if you have not, connecting all this with Allah’s words will be almost impossible.

  13. Great article! I believe that instead of parents making sure their children are God-fearing, they raise children to be God-loving. To love Allah is more powerful that to fear Allah. Too many times I have seen children being scared of sinning and it leads to children moving away from the deen. If we teach our children to LOVE Allah first and to truly understand how much Allah loves them (us), they will be less inclined to displease Him and motivated to do good deeds.

    • Most definitely when children are young we teach them to be God-loving but as they grow older (preteen and teenage) we also teach them to be God-fearing so they don’t overstep the boundaries of Islam.

  14. I have read many articles, watched many videos and listen to lectures but this is a masterpiece. Keep up sister, may Allah guide and protect you.

  15. Thank you so very much for this amazing article. For the first time I decided to be a tough parent today and Allah(swt) decided to help me go back to being a kind parent again. JazakAllah khair.

  16. AssalamuAlaikum Sr
    Masha’Allah the information here is so beneficial Alhamdulillah I came across this article. Thanks for sharing us your enlightening post. May Allah grants you tawfik in dunya and akhira.