…continued from Part 1
Part 2 – Handling Friction
Imagine driving your car with the hand breaks on. You probably won’t be going very fast, and this is exactly what happens when you drive yourself through “life” with dis-empowering belief systems. These cause you to be unproductive without you realising.
Without understanding our attitude, we cannot gain motivation to persevere or to achieve our goals. As a result, we procrastinate. This is why many self-improvement programs focus on “beliefs” before giving you any techniques to implement. In this part of the series, we will talk about understanding your belief system and how to make it work for you.
How we think influences our behavior. Many times these beliefs are hidden deep in our subconscious mind. Beliefs like “It’s too late now” or “I am a victim” can often leave a person idle with false limits on what they can do bi’ithnillah.
Three Kinds of Belief Systems
1. Hopelessness:
If a person is hopeless, he feels or believes an outcome is just not possible. “There is no hope” – this is a belief that the outcome is impossible and thus there is no point even trying.
2. Helplessness:
In this condition, a person believes something is possible, but that he doesn’t have the ability to do it. “I am too weak”, “It is possible but I am just not capable”, “I just don’t have what it takes” are all self-talk examples of helplessness.
3. Worthlessness:
Some people won’t even try because they think they are not worthy to accomplish something.
As Muslims, we should fight these attitude as we should put our hope and trust in Allah, and remember that Allah has power over all things. When we transfer our hopes from our limited selves to Allah The Most High, even the most difficult of tasks can become very possible and very easy (Islamic History testifies to this such as the Battle of Badr!)
If you are thinking: “This all good, but it won’t work – I’ve tried it before and couldn’t do it”, change that thought to: “If I do everything I learn and try, then I will be able to achieve it insha’Allah”. Having a positive approach will push us forward towards our goal.
Self-Esteem and Our Belief System – Pop Quiz!
Our self-esteem is directly related to our inner beliefs.
This is a quiz you can do to find your self-esteem level. Like a regular health checkup, this test helps you find where you stand on your self-esteem level. Answer the 16 questions below with True or False. Answer true only if you are 100% sure about the answer. Even if it is 99% true, answer false.
Once you finish the test, use the answer key to find your self esteem level.
Mark True or False on the following questions:
1. Other people are not more fortunate than I am.
2. I accept myself as I am, and I am happy with myself.
3. I enjoy socializing.
4. I deserve love and respect.
5. I feel valued and needed.
6. I don’t need others to tell me that I have done a good job.
7. Being myself is important.
8. I make friends easily.
9. I can handle criticism without feeling put down.
10. I admit my mistakes openly.
11. I never hide my true feeling.
12. I always speak up for myself and put my views across.
13. I am a happy carefree person.
14. I don’t worry what others think of my views.
15. I don’t need others approval to feel good.
16. I don’t feel guilty about doing and saying what I want.
Answer Key:
1) Number of true above 14: You are doing very, very well.
2) 12-14 true: You are doing pretty good. There is room to improve.
3) 8 – 11 true: Showing signs of low esteem.
4) Less than 8 true: Low self esteem level.
It’s very important to know where you stand in terms of self-esteem because believing in yourself is crucial to your productivity.
You see, if your beliefs are not empowering you, then is it any wonder you are not motivated to acheive your goals? Is it any wonder that you avoid doing it, and hence you procrastinate?
Empower yourself
Changing a belief and replacing with an empowering belief is important to your success. Remind yourself of this new positive attitude you have decided to adopt. Here is a technique you can use:
Whenever a negative thought comes to mind, immediately tell it – “It’s okay, I can do it with the help of Allah”. And suddenly, you’ll start feeling more confident and optimistic!
“In life, there are no problems, only opportunities.” Yes, you have opportunities around you – to do good deeds, to pass tests, to improve, to make a difference, to achieve your goals.
To be continued in sha’ Allah…
About the Author
SuccessMuslim (www.successmuslim.com) is a personality development, success-coaching and mentoring website for Muslims. “Success, achieving our best, win duniya and akhira” is the theme of this site. SuccessMuslim is the first Islamic website to completely focus on personality development articles topics. And it is FREE.
