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  1. I liked this, very helpful and also simplistic…so I’m sure it will not put people off. Let us pray that we will be able to utilise such insightful advice c whilst we still can.

  2. MashaAllah great reminders. It is so true,too many sisters spend single days worrying about getting onto the ‘greener side’ instead of ‘watering their own grass’.
    May Allah make it easy for all those searching for spouses and allow them to make the most of the present- Ameen

  3. JazakAllah khair sister for the tips. In typical Asian communities, there is a lot of stress where daughters are of the ‘marriage’ age and matchmaking stress unfortunately leads to arguments and conflicts between family members.
    Also, often girls are expected to be ‘perfect’ in everything. If she is doing one thing well in a day then something else is pointed out to be ‘missing’ or ‘should be learnt’ by the parents. The result being girls giving up doing chores altogether or feeling anxious and stressed all the time. Can you please suggest some practical tips for girls to implement without hurting their parents and also not losing their self esteem? JazakAllah khair

    • ASSALAM O ALAIKUM SISTER,
      i read your comment and wanted to discuss few things with you. i understand your issue as i have the same background and situation. focus on yourself first it means try to find your purpose in life first of all, set your priorities then. first priority is always Allah SWT. and try to implement this formula when dealing with any clash. say the right thing in humble way and leave the environment(go to other room for the time being to avoid stressful situation). sometimes ignore their words when possible. confront when limits are crossed.
      parents are special in the way they can easily label you ignorant, disobedient. they know their rights but mis use them even many times. may be parents are like that they want to have that autority. well we can not change them, we can change the way we respond to them. pray load to have strength, do personal grooming (watch how to raise ur self esteem video on youtube) have confidence in yourself dear.
      it is all a hard process but not impossible. you can do it in sha Allah.
      may Allah bring ease for you soon ameen.

  4. Assalamu Alaikum. I’m really motivated, Alhamdulillah. I’ve already started telling my self “what if Allah has decreed that u will never get married?” bt this article serve as a reminder to me “never lose hope in Allah”.I’ve been looking for what to do with my life and whenever I come across articles about marriage I tell my self “this is not for you” . Aftter reading this article I’m determined to make my life useful Inshaa Allah. Jazak Allahu Khairan

  5. Assalamu Alaikum. Before reading this article I have have been struggling to make my life meaningful as a single Muslimah. I been making du’a to Allah (S.W.T) to make it easy 4 me and all single Muslimas, I’ve even started telling my self that “maybe Allah has not decreed marriage for me”. Bt Alhamdulillah this article remind me to Never lose hope in Allah. Jazakum Allahu Khairan

  6. May Allah SubhanaHu wa Ta’ala make it easy for us all. I use to tell my self “Our purpose on this earth is to serve Allah and whether married or not we will still go back to Him and we will be answerable to our deed, make ur life useful by fasting and praying qiyam for being single means having the time and the ener gy to do All the”. Pray, be patient aand persevere… Jazakum Allahu khairan

  7. Assalamu alaikum! That was a much needed article now, wasn’t it? It’s very hard for us young Muslimahs to think about something other than marriage because in my humble experience, Islamic reminders regarding sisters (and I am not talking about productive Muslim ;) mainly talk about the rewards of being a wife or a mother. Imagine if your whole young adulthood you feel useless to the ummah, almost inexistant because people don’t value you as anything other than wether you are married or not. It’s very frustrating!

    That was my nightmare for 5 years, until Allah swt made me realize all the things I could accomplish while being single alhamdulillah :)

    My friends and I have started an online magazine for Muslimahs ages 12 to 25 in French, and we make da’wah in a way that values the young and single Muslimah. There are so many other things we can accomplish in our youth mashaAllah. Like you mentionned: seeking knowledge, learning a new skill, etc. Investing on that magazine is what makes me grateful to be single, while being patient for marriage.

    If I can’t get married now then what else am I capable of? Where else is my value? Alhamdulillah sister as you said there is nothing more comforting to a single Muslimah than knowing that we are first and foremost slaves of Allah swt. That status is pernanent inshaAllah, and every other status comes after that. :D thanks for reading my long rant :p

    Pls make dua for our project and if you read french, visit: https://magazinejeunemusulmane.wordpress.com barakAllah u feekum ;)

    • P.s: My comment was not intended to put anyone down sisters. It’s just my rant as a single Muslimah ;) May Allah ta’ala bless Muslim couples with barakah and bless us with happy and fulfilling marriages, ameen ♥

    • Salaam aleykum Sister, jazakAllahu khayran for ur comment n for ur magazine.
      MashAllah it’s beautiful n may Allah reward U n the sisters who work with U for the effort u guys make to help the sisters of this Ummah, ameen.
      I can really relate to what you said, that’s very true indeed, may Allah help us all become better servants to Him, ameen.
      Très bonne continuation in shaa Allah et bon courage ma soeur :-)

    • As Salaamo alaikum et bonjour ma soeur.
      Ma sha Allah you’re doing well I am starting a follow up French course in September next year and I am looking for French magazines TV serials to build my vocabulary. Merci beacoup .

      I went through a phase for 5 years there was immense pressures of society my family made me believe marriage was the only focus in life but Alhamdulillah as soon as I turned 30 my thinking changed. Life is about much more other than marriage. Years of procrastination I finally put it in the bin and followed my dreams and passions. I’m studying Arabic and working towards a teaching degree now , I have done a few other things too like charity challenges learning to swim and keeping fit . I have a list of goals in sha Allah I will succeed.
      My spirituality need improving and I need to take Tajweed lessons, there’s so much to work on, I need to balance my life and that’s a huge challenge for me.
      I realised by reading that we are all going through the same thing it’s not easy to find someone and it’s a challenge to stay in a marriage hence we need to equip ourselves by gaining the relevant knowledge and the rest is upto Allah.
      May Allah make it easy for us ameen

  8. Salamz sis Lotifa,

    Alhamdulilah that was an elightening article.
    Much thanks to Allah, I’ve been happily married for 10 years and yet, I find the article relates to me well.
    1. Agreed wholeheartedly that emphasis needs to be given on reading up and building knowledge on handling marriage as the marriage is not only to the spouse, but to his ENTIRE family. Many a times, cultural differences, albeit slight, can be blown up.
    2. True too that even married sisters needs to continually develop ourselves in terms of iman and professional development. This I feel, benefits my children the most. To have mummies with world class thinking is the best gift to the young’s minds. Lastly, not to forget that my husband constantly supports me in my efforts to challenge myself – that is priceless. Much thanks to Allah swt.

    Thank u Sis Lotifa, I pray Allah grants u a family like mine insyallah : )

  9. Assalamualikum sister Lotifa
    Alhamdulillah reading your article made me smile as being a young Muslimah I too felt that after reaching a certain age there would be times when I thought as a woman there is nothing more to life then to get married and settle down and when people around you get married and you’re waiting your turn it can get pretty frustrating but Alhamdulillah I had and still do have plans for myself that keeps me on track and the time that you are single is the best time to explore yourself and build a stronger relationship with Allah .
    There is khair in every phase of life and much to be learnt and gained from it Alhamdulillah . It was refreshing and motivating to read someone’s thoughts on being single and for me to see that much of what you suggested I have started doing in some ways and now I want to improve upon
    Jazkillahu khaira for the timely reminder . Hope to read more of your articles IA :)

  10. Asalamu alaykum waramatullah wabarahakahtu
    That article is just what so many muslimah needs, I thought and thought till I started learning more islamic ways of a righteous muslimah, it’s been helpful. Finding yourself and satisfying your goals before marriage makes your married life more fulfilling.

  11. Thankuu sister for such a beautiful article… I hv been wanting to learn so many new things n do more for my parents n achieve some milestones in my career n islamic education..befr i get married ..bt somehow i find an excuse to nevr to pursue it..n ur article has reminded me of wat i mit miss out on if i dont make most of the blessed time now ..em all charged up..n insha’Allah will begin today.
    Jazakallah khairan..looking forward to reading more of ur articles:)

  12. Assalaam o alikum ,
    Actually life is no the same for everyone, there are girls who are suppressed by their parents before marriage to learn something new, so enthusiastic females like me wait , until we get married and there we find out that after marriage also ‘life is the same ,,she cannot do any thing..ie leaning a new skill etc as she has to follow the new family rules and regulations..
    being married or single does not make any difference if the muslimah has no opportunity to develop herself.

  13. Assalamu’alaikum wrb Sister, this is suh a great article and tips I wish I knew back when I was single. However, now I am married and blessed with 2 wonderful children and holding a full-time job from 9am-6pm in one of the challenging and developed Asian country. Would you have some advices for working mothers where they can be productive, able to juggle life, work and family whilst instilling great Islamic values, education, practices in accordance to the Al Quran and Sunnah to the children so we all can succeed in this life and the Hereafter. I look forward to your kind advice, reply to my email or article. Thank you very much.

  14. Thanks a lot for sharing this with us , Lotifa.
    There are more stuff a single women can do , it can vary depending on the woman’s interests.
    If you are interested in the practical life, don’t lose the opportunity to sharpen your skills, improve your resume or start your own business.
    If you are interested in the social and marital life, invest time learning about what makes a successful marriage and how to raise children with healthy body , mind and soul.
    I wish all sisters invest time to explore themselves, to find their passion and interests, to enjoy their own company. If a woman can’t support , motivate and make herself happy , no one else can.

    We all have a lot of flaws, unfortunately they keep covered and later appear in terms of marriage problems or a wrong way of raising children.
    No one is perfect, don’t search for Mr.Perfect ’cause he doesn’t exist and don’t forget that you are not Mrs.Perfect too.
    Learn to accept your flaws and the others’ flaws.

    Do something to have a break from when you get married and priorities change , whether it’s a career path or a voluntary work, so as not to regret later.

  15. Asalamu Alaikum,

    really nice article.i loved it for the sake of allah.i dont know am really depressed in my bottom of my heart.suddenly i saw this article in my inbox.alhamdhulillah.its give very thoghtful idea.in shaa allah i will try to my entire life .ameen.Al saboor.

  16. Masha Allah….amazing article and wonderful tips that I hv not read before…..
    Insha Allah will implimemt them in my life…
    Jazakallah khair sis..

  17. Jazakillah, Sist Lotifa. Your article is really inspiring.
    I usually keep trying to believe that everything happened in my life is the best from Allah, so just do our best and Allah will do the rest.
    May our prayers is granted, Aameen.

  18. Assalamu alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh,

    Thank you so much for this practical tips. It really helps a lot. Indeed, Allah Put things in right time and order. Everything is for a reason. Being single, is an opportunity to accomplish more in striving to seek Allah’s Pleasure before journeying to marriage ‘career’. Instead of indulging plenty of time thinking who and when will Mr. Right comes, why not spent our precious time to more productive activities that we are enjoy of doing so and at the same time will enhance our connection with Allah. Alhamdullillah!

    Continue to inspire others Sr. Lotifa. Jazakumullahu khairan katheera

  19. “Whilst getting married is a huge milestone in our lives, it does not need to be our only focus, as we are slaves of Allah (glorified and exalted be He) first, above all other roles in life.”
    I loved this part!
    JazakAllahu Khair :)

  20. MARRIAGE DIFFICULTIES AND DIVORSE CAES ARE CERTAINLY RISING . PEOPLE ARE AGAIN FALLING INTO JAHILLIYYAH PERIOD . PEOPLE SCARCELY UNDERSTAND PIOUS DEEDS AND VIRTUE PATH . BY BIRTH , A CHILD OBSERVES THAT WELTLTH AND SECULAR LUXURY IS DRASTICALLY PREACHED AND WORSHIPPED . PARENTS ARE RARELY FOUND TO ATTACH THEIR CHILD TO ALLAAAH ALMIGHTY

    EVEN TRUE AND SINCERE FRIENDS ARE NOT FOUND .
    SOCIAL RELATIONSHIP AND MORAL ETTIQUTTES HAVE STEEPLY FALLEN .

  21. Assalamu alaikum… jazakallah So true about asian community as i am one of them, so much pressure on single muslimahs. I am going through some stress as well.. please make dua for me ” May Allah (swt) provide everyone with pious spouse and grant us coolness of eyes by a blessed and happy married life. May Allah(Swt) make our spouse a blessing and not a trial. May Allah make it easy for us. May Allah grant all of us Jannatul Firdous ul Ala ” Ameen

  22. السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

    جزاك الله خيرا

    Thank you for writing about this in a positive light. Alhamdulilah much needed. I think society tells single Muslimahs that our main goal is marriage. There is nothing wrong with striving for it because it is half of our deen in sha Allah. But I strongly agree that the time of being single should be appreciated and utilised fully. Not only will it help with depression etc. But also lay the correct foundations for a solid marriage. I think a sister should do what’s good for her soul. Important at any time in life, but especially during those single years.

    Thank you PM and Sr. Lotifa.

  23. Salam alaik. Masya Allah. Very useful tips and advice for single women especially Muslim teenagers who lived in this digital era. Time is precious. Jazakallahu khairan

  24. AssalamuAlaikum
    Mashallah Sr, I find this article so simple and to the point. I really appreciate your tips here. According to what I’m going through now as a single Muslimah I realized tips no. 1 and 2 is are more important for me to follow while working on keeping up with the rest of the tips you shared in this article. Thank you so much for your help. J.A.K.

  25. Jazaallah sister, this was an article which I badly needed. Me and my family were depressed of not finding an appropriate spouse for me. This surely helped me, I am new to this blog and let Allah’s peace be upon you

  26. What about married sisters who can’t concieve Children and have free time since there not working either? What do these Sisters do with their free time?

  27. I feel really hopeless as I don’t like to Work after getting my degree, I didn’t work Full time my low self-esteem has put me down, I also understand that Allah swt stated that Women don’t need to work if they don’t want to and their Husbands are there maintainers etc but I do feel hopeless, nowadays most Sisters work and are earning etc What’s your advise to sisters who are married but jobless? What can they do with their time? Jzk, thank you

  28. Assalammualaikum..
    Thank you so much for this article. I’m a 31 years old divorcee. Was married for 5 years and now I am alhamdulillah learning my way back to Islam for the first time ever in my life to be a mindful Muslimah. Your article is such a very enlightening and spirit booster for me. Since I’m dealing with this struggle feeling of unworthy for being a divorcee (here in my country – Indonesia – being a divorcee is like a taboo, despite of any reason of the divorce. Women will be stereotyped as “bad”) and waiting for the right spouse for me, I can spend my time more in a productive way. Now I am looking for a team to build a community of muslimah to spread knowledge about Islam to the young muslimah here. Please make du’a for me for this effort I am making is very important since the quality of young muslimah is decreasing gradually..
    PS :
    If I may, I would like to add 1 more activity we can do: travel more! With family or bestfriends, or sibilings. Traveling will open more doors to you to explore yourself and help to develop character, to get to know other culture, open our eyes to the world and you will see more blessings from Allah in everyday small things that we often taken for granted.

    May Allah protect, safeguard, and bless all of us in our attempt to stay productive while waiting for the day that we will meet our spouse. Assalammualaikum…

  29. The ideal huaband is one who fears ALLAH swt and lives the sunna of prophet mohammed pbuh. Including performing jihad for the sake of ALLAH and not being from those who stay behind. Because we are living in a time where the muslims are severly oppressed and the shar3a of ALLAH swt needs to be mantained.