Be A Productive Member of the Family!

Many of us may not associate being productive with familial roles or responsibilities. Some may think that spending time with family is a waste of time and instead something more constructive can be done. But what if I told you that with a few handy tips, you’ll insha Allah become a productive family member. You’ll also find fulfilling familial roles hassle-free, exciting and stress-free as oppposed to it being boring, unstimulating and time-consuming?

Plan, plan, plan

Spending time with your family should not be dismissed and thought of as ‘unimportant’. Rather it should be planned just as you would plan for other important factors in your life such as your work schedule and studies. By planning to spend time with your family, it will let you see what you need to get done (work, studies, etc.) to ensure that when you are with your family – you are spending quality time together and your mind and efforts are focused on spending a good time with them and not on the deadline you need to meet.

 

 

Reminders are extremely useful

Technology has revolutionized the way we plan our time. We should use it to organise ourselves, including the way we are productive with our family. Set reminders on your phone for ‘Family time’ for daily reminders or maybe ‘Family fun day’ for weekly/monthly time with your family. Reminders can also be set, not only for the time needed to be spent with family, but also for responsibilities that may need to be fulfilled. I like to set a reminder on my iPod for when I need to do certain chores – that way I don’t forget and I get it done.

Alternatively, for chores you can make a list of things you need to do each day. This allows you tick off the chores you have done, and also feel a sense of accomplishment when you see a list of ticks all the way down the page!!

Intentions

As with anything we do we must remember Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) and remember that we should do everything for His sake. It’s amazing how, when your intentions are with Allah, He makes your affairs easier for you! Begin what you want do for your family, or anything for that matter, with Bismillah. If you begin to struggle, remember the advice of the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) to Fatimah raḍyAllāhu 'anha (may Allāh be pleased with her) about the use of ‘Subunallah, Alhamdulillah, Allahu akbar’ – never underestimate it, because it really does work Subhan Allah!

Prevent wavering

Spending time with family is as important as any other work; so give it equal time and right. Quite often we forget that our family has rights over us- especially our parents – and our service to them can fluctuate with time. When it comes to helping around the house, set yourself a daily deadline e.g. hoovering and dusting must be completed by 9:00am.

Wake your senses and be aware

Sometimes we are so engrossed in our studies, work and da’wah projects that we forget about our family members like our aunts, uncles, cousins etc. Keep a tab on how everyone is doing by calling those you can every week or fortnight, or even monthly – whenever you can but set a time for it.

Perhaps you can make use of email and text too. Drop them a text while you’re on the bus or train (it doesn’t take long) or an email to see how they are. Use social networking sites to help keep in touch with your family, close members as well as the distant ones. Allocate time for your phone calls to your grandparents – it shows you care and Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) will be pleased with your efforts insha Allah.

Prioritize

Often we forget that our parents and family have more rights over us than we think. Did you know that serving and obeying your parents is a fardh upon you, whereas reciting Qur’an and giving sadaqah are nafl? Therefore, when you know that there are things to be done for your parents and you would prefer to recite or do extra salah, remember that serving your parents is more important and more rewarding.

Being a productive member of a family is as easy as you want it to be. Realise that people will leave us one day and we will regret not having had spent time with them but also the fact that we missed an opportunity to gain reward. Your family are such an important part of your life, realize it now before it’s too late._

Are you an active member of your family? What have you done lately to bring closeness among your family members? Share helpful tips below.

About the Author

Anjuman Haque is a London-based student currently working towards a B.Sc. in Psychology. She thoroughly enjoys eating desserts, travelling and of course – spending time with her family!! She frequently tweets at www.twitter.com/anjumanhaque and blogs at anjumanhaque.tumblr.com.


4 thoughts on “Be A Productive Member of the Family!

  1. Alhamdulillah for such a beautiful article. Something that has helped me to keep in touch with my distant relatives is to call two of them every week. Between Friday and Friday I must call any two. There have been weeks that I called three or four, and weeks that saw me calling two on Friday back to back.I do this with friendships as well. As a generally shy person, it really helps me reach outside my comfort zone. Not that I don’t care for them, I’d give them my shirt if I knew they needed it. However, at some point I realized that I wouldn’t know they needed it unless I was in contact with them. And they wouldn’t be comfortable taking it unless they knew I cared for them.

  2. Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatULLAHI wa barakatuHU wa maghfiratuHU,
    I have got a question: If one or more of your family members, say your paternal aunt and/or uncle has continuously slandered against you and your parents for years, say for 18-20 years or even more than that, they have even tried to kick you out of your home and falsely swore on the Holy Quran against you, and if after having done all of this, one day the paternal aunt calls you up and asks you to meet her just one time, and she cries on phone, is it fardh upon you to go meet her? Cant you just talk to her on phone to make her feel happy? Is it ok to choose not to go meet her in person, if meeting her will only make you remember all those bad things that she did? All i want to ask you this, one is not being sinful if one does not meet their relatives in person, right?

    1. Assalamu alaikum sister. I am deeply sorry, but I dont know the answer to your question sis – whether or not it would be sin on you. Perhaps you could contact  http://islamqa.info/en   inshallah – I hope inshallah they will be able help you.  
      When I saw your post,  I thought of how perhaps Rasulullah SAW must have felt when his uncles would publicly humiliate him and all the other terrible things they did against him – such as trying to kill him! I wonder how he managed to cope subhnallah!
      I guess when it comes to family matters, one has to try to be patient and try to never loose hope in the fact that Allah will be rewarding them inshallah for all their efforts and struggles. One might want to keep in mind that life is ultimately a test. A persons family can be a great test for them, but he/she may find it easier to cope and bear with them when they realise that Allah loves those whom He tests! 
      Inshallh please keep me and my family in you duas sis, Wasalamu alaikum.

  3. Every weekend I get up early and make breakfast, then I go wake up my family to come join me for breakfast. That way, I spend at least 1 hour real quality time with family, each day of the weekend. 

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