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  1. Assalaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatulah sister,

    May Allah (SWT) reward you for writing this article.
    I can identify with everything that was in it. . .
    It’s important to use that opportunity to remind oneself of not just acceptance (qadr) but trusting in ALLAH Azza Wajjal that he knows best for His (swt) slaves.

    • Wa alaykum salaam warahmatullah.

      Wa iyyaki barakallahu feek. Yes I agree it’s extremely important and to also remember the affair of the believer is never bad, whatever we may perceive as bad initially there is always hikmah behind it, so to have that sincere trust in Allah. Alhamdulillah ala kulli haal.

      Jazakillah khayr for reading.

  2. MashaAllah very true words and I can completely relate. I have also realized that unbeknownst to me, Allah had been preparing me from the beginning for the divorce. From grocery and house repair to the car mechanic and tax filing, I had learnt to do things by myself while working full time and taking care of home and kids. La yukallifullahu nafsan illa wusaaha. Once we take the right step, we have to trust Allah that he will lead us to a better place InshaAllah.

    • Alhamdulillah. Allah strengthen you and increase you in this dunya and akhirah.
      Ameen.
      The way Allah prepares us through tests is just a sign that He loves us In shaa Allah. Subhanallah In shaa Allah all the hardships we face will be worth it when we are all in Jannah and able to see Allah’s face. Allah make us all inhabitants of Jannah. Ameen

      Jazakillah khayr for reading.

  3. Alhamdullilah! I love you for the sake of Allah Iman. May Allah continue to strengthen you and help you achieve all your dreams.
    Your writ is beautiful and truly was a calming read. Jazakallahu khairan for sharing!

    • Jazakillah khayr sis subhanallah this comment made me teary Alhamdulillah. May he who’s sake you love me for love you. Ameen

      Barakallahu feek and jazakillah khayr for reading.

    • I am glad this could help you may Allah strengthen you and reward you always. Ameen

      Jazakillah khayr for reading

  4. I am going thru one currently; and i came to learn that marriage and divorce is a huge test of faith. Here’s what i am practicing; and i find it helpful;-
    1. Tahajjud everyday -its a personal time to really break down to Him, asking for strength and path to heal and jump higher. Pray also for shift of focus. Dont focus on the pain and what happened; because what we focus on; GROWS..
    2. Consistency with quran and keep reading dua’s of the Prophet’s thru calamity
    3. Keep a gratitude journal everyday if possible – a fast way to feel that divorce its not the end of the world. Its a new begining to get closer to Him and rediscover yourself.
    4. Exercise exercise exercise.. something that lifts me up instantly.alhamdulillah.
    5. You are very true -do something new. Something you perhaps had thought you never would had the courage to do all this while. Solo trip, sky diving, VOLUNTEER, art classes…
    6. Keep the company of positive people, read n listen to encouraging lectures. A personal book that i love now is by Amy Morin-13 things mentally strong people dont DO.
    7. Most importantly; dont get stuck in victim mentally (althou you may be one) coz its syaitans tricks and paralyzes like nothing else.. one powerful quote from Tony Robbins -Life doest happen to you; it happens For you.. because we all know; the One WHO plans for us.
    No one person can truly understand what another person is going thru or feeling, except Him. Your best souce of comfort and support is Him
    I pray Allah heal everyone that goes thru this challenge (currently or in the past), gives us strength and comfort and send us support from ways we could never imagine.

    • Subhanallah your advice is amazing and I completely agree with all your points! I found that exercise definitely releases a lot stress and with the correct intention your also keeping an amana towards Allah with fulfilling a right of the body by keeping healthy. May Allah ease your affairs and elevate your status. Ameen

      Jazakillah khayr for reading.

  5. Thank you for your insiteful article. It was very generous of you to share your pain and growth with strangers like me. The only question that I have in general, as I contemplate this issue due to my own circumstances, is how to I reconcile divorce with Naseeb? How is it that I was destined to marry this person, but now I want a divorce. Allah (SWT) does not make a mistake.
    Any thoughts on this would be appreciated.

    • I completely understand going through pregnancy and a divorce. Allah give you strength and make anything you go through an expiation for you and to ease your affairs. Ameen

      Be strong In shaa Allah you can deal with this, just always turn back to Allah and ask him for help. I found also that the dua of Nuh (as) helped me a lot!!
      Rabbi Inne maghlubun fantasir – my lord i am overcome so help me. This is in Surah Qamar 54:10 if I remember correctly. If not then please forgive me.

      Jazakillah khayr for reading.

  6. I am also going through the same. When I read this I felt this msg is from Allah. I had the same questions in my mind. Thank you!!

  7. MashAllah this article is superb! The points are so clear and to the point and touching. Thank you so so much to this excellent and honest Author!

  8. assalam aleykum,
    i got married to my husband 7 years ago, the first things we talked before getting married is if he was ok that we don’t have children because of my diabetes, he said it was not a problem due that he may be infertile, ( he got a trauma in his parts when he was a teenager and the doctor told him that he may not have children). and the other condition is that I don’t accept second wife, so we agreed in these and I sponsored him to come to this country. we are happy really he has taught me about Islam a lot, i converted before i met him. his mother for some time has been insisting him that he has to have children, and without consulting him they got him married in his back country. I’m really upset, i feel humiliated and outraged. my husband is not planning in visiting his parents this year and he doesn’t answer their calls. So can this marriage be annulled?

  9. mashallah jzk keyran for discussing this very important topic. your writing is very inviting, I am benefited from it may Allah reward you.

  10. It’s been almost three years when I got divorce from my husband. I don’t really remember what specifically helped me at that time. But I remember forgiving myself and my former husband and all the people who were involved in our divorce for the sake of Allah. Allah is the Greatest and most Merciful! I think Allah wanted me to learn to forgive people and say Alhamdulillah whatever position I am in by giving this divorce. I am grateful to Allah that I went through that hardship. Now Alhamdulillah I am a very happy person!

    Thank you for your insightful article and may Allah give me more strength to pursue to your goals and dreams! Ameen.

  11. Salam alaykoum
    Thanks à lot sister for sharing your experience. I am not divorced yet, but I came back to my parents’. I felt like I did everything I could to save my marriage, but Allah knows best, nothing worked.

    Sometimes, I feel like we try to save what is left but it demands too much energy. Accepting that “my muslim love story”, like I use to call it, is over, is not easy, eventhough I know that it is for the best.

    Hamdoulilah, we have to trust Allah’s plans, he knows us better than we do.

    Lots of love and support for all of you who struggles with divorce. May Allah give you the best in this dunya and here-after.

  12. The Prophet ﷺ calls out to Allah in one of the most beautiful and heartfelt du`a’ (supplication):

    “O Allah! To you alone I complain my weakness, my scarcity of resources, and the humiliation I have been subjected to by people. O Most Merciful of those who have mercy! You are the Lord of the weak, and You are My Lord too.

    To whom have you entrusted me? To a distant person who receives me with hostility? Or to an enemy to whom you have granted authority over my affair?

    But as long as You are not angry with me, I do no care, except that Your favor is a more expansive relief to me. I seek refuge in the light of Your Face by which all darkness is dispelled and every affair of this world and the next is set right, lest Your anger or Your displeasure descend upon me.

    Yours is the right to reproach until You are pleased. There is no power and no might except by You.”
    May Allah swt mends all broken hearts. Ameen

  13. Assalaamualikum
    Jazakallah for the informative article. I am currently seperated. Unsure what will happen. Please make dua for me whatever happens will be khair for me and my spouse. Shukr i have no children.

  14. Jazak Allah khaired sister for your thoughts and sharing your experience with divorce…I had lost twins when I assumed I had everything going for me… Subhanallah the loss of my babies and my husband placed me a a horrible position of losing the will to stay married, practicing, and simply just being myself…I feel I lost myself, and inshallah almost 10 years later I’m done with the pain and afflictions with kidney failure where I need a kidney transplant, and no family what so ever because I chose Islam alhamdilah wouldn’t change it for the world… I’m a proud mother of 2 in the jannah alhamdilah…. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers Ameen…. I’m alone and frightened every day, for my choices but I believe in Allah swt and his faith alhamdilah Rabil Allah’meen Ana musli’meen….

  15. SubhanAllah! Beautiful naseehah and reminders. I relate to everything in this article. You absolutely need your salah. You need to constantly seek Allah’s guidance and ask him to remove the hatred and purify your heart so you can heal and move on with life. You don’t want to allow anything or anyone to get in the way of your meeting with your Lord. The biggest lesson for me in my situation was the realization of putting my Complete Trust in Allah. People are human and will disappoint us but when you rely on Allah he never disappoints. Recognizing that Allah is Most Wise and knows what I know not. That He owns everything, we own nothing (not people, not things), These were “Ah, Hah” moments for me that allowed me to be in a better place. And Yes, with Allah’s help, it does get better. We come from Allah and to Allah we shall return.

  16. very true, may Allah s.w.a increased ur knowledge and undstaanding.barakallahu fika wajazakallahu khairan!!!

  17. It is a very well said article. Hope to help lots of sisters who are suffering from that. Jazzaka’Allahwe

  18. Jazakallah Hu Khairun for such a beautiful article. Tahajud prayers added in the routine helped and always calm me down a lot

    Secondly in the Quran Tafsir by Abdullah Yusuf Ali I found the advise to just open the Quran randomly every day and consider it message for that day. Every day since then Quran replies directly to my worries and concerns.

    The chapter on divorce and Hadith clearly reflect on putting our full tawakkul in Allah and he finds a way. Alhamdulillah

  19. Thank you sincerly for these kind words. I’m getting through a divorce right now and is by far not easy to handle it on daily basis. So much negative feelings and anger… thank you for reminding me that it is a blessing from Allah (swt) it must be a good thing whether I see the wisdome behind it or not. Your article makes me stronger !

  20. I enjoyed the article very much as I am newly divorced and Alhamdulillah coping well as I constantly reflect with my Rabb. Allah(swt). May Allah(swt)make it easy for us all. Amin

  21. Alhamdulilah. I experience divorce after 3 months of my marriage. I used to cry all the time and the fact that he pronounced divorce without a reason so I used to feel rejected and the pain that comes with it was so unbearable and I used to say to myself if only I never knew him if only I never accepted to marry him, if if if and the if never helped me to move on it was only making me to be more depress. What I did was I looked around me I had wonderful and supportive parents, friend and the advice they gave me. I said to myself I had a lot to be thankful for. Divorce is not going to be the end of my life. When I was asking myself why, why why the why word was pulling me down I couldn’t concentrate on my studies my grades where getting low. so I have to sit myself down and think with a open heart and looked at the positive side of things. If Allah can bring me to it he will definitely take me through it and I had a lot to be thankful for. So I stopped isolating myself and I stopped thinking, if the negative thoughts wants to come I perform ablution and I pray for the best and walahi relying on Allah and trusting his decision and his wills was the best remedy to my broken heart. Divorce is a test from Allah and Allah promise to test us. and Allah will not take anything away from you unless He will replace it with something better.
    Alhamdulilah ala kuli hal

  22. Assalamualaikum
    May Allah reward you for this, definitely divorce is very painful and hrad to come out of it. Is it really a test from Allah or its a punishment. I was cheated by first husband, Wen I got divorced first I thought i was broken and shattered completely. Salah helped me alot I used to pour out in front of Allah I use to feel good thinking that I have kept my worries in front of master of this world and hereafter he’ll take the charge of everything.. Wen i got married second time I wasn’t lucky this time too the man was psycho was very abusive Physically​and verbally. I got divorced again. Now I don’t feel like doing Salah asking anything to Allah. I feel lost. Divorce! Is it a punishment or a test?

  23. Alhamdulillah thank you sister for this post, it is really true . i am just recently divorced after 3 years of marriage. I had difficulty of getting pregnant, and Wallahi , if that was one of the reason my ex husband could not accept , apart from so many other reasons he gave. I have tried all in my possible ways to reconcile but he refused. It felt like i had been in a verbal and emotional abusive relationship but Allah knows best. Alhamdulillah i am healing with the strength and patience Allah has showered me with. It is tough to go by with this new ‘life’ but Allah is most Fair, and i know that He has Will this upon me , and all of us other sisters who goes through the same situation, because he knoes best I tell myself, all the time, that this is for the better, i may not see it now, but it is for the better, Allah knows. Somedays, its tough and somedays its good.. but Trust Allah, and everything will be Fine inshallah.