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  1. SubhanAllah, this is a beautiful reminder. It’s true that we often think about materialistic things when we try to detach from this Dunya, or at least I do. I believe it’s a good thing to have people you can trust around you and have your back, but sometimes we don’t realise that at the end of the day we stand alone. And since I find it very difficult to remind myself of death more often, I hope I’ll benefit from this article. Djazakka lahu gayran.

  2. Came just in time, a truly wonderful reminder. :]

    Loved the part about comfort food :p next time gonna head to the remembrance of Allah instead!

  3. saying tips and writing them ae very easy but when it comes to doind it’s realy hard…besides we all know the value of time and so many facts said …the point is not i about knowing it’s something else i don’t really know till now but seeking for it,i love productive Muslim idea and am interested in the emails but sometimes i feel like that it deals with the person in a very quantitative way …make him like a robot or producing machine Thank you for your trying to helpseek with me for the missing link

    • salaams Sarah,
      The first step is to accept that whatever you do is for pleasure of Allah. When you say that you have to be like a robot, you referring to the strict routine that you must follow. Your zikr and the istigfaar that you do does not have to be done at a specific time and place, that is the beauty of Islam. While walking or doing some work or waiting for someone, you can be engaged in zikr / istigfaar. As long as your mind wanders back to Allah, shaitaan will not find a place in your mind / heart. We have to let ourselves be taken over by Allah and then we will notice the peace that comes with it. Inshaallah Allah make it easy for you, Ameen.

    • This was really motivating
      Specially the point about remembering death.
      The earlier site I visited encouraged to go on for movies That’s so bad
      Assalamualaikum Sarah,
      I know it is difficult
      But please don’t be discouraged with the help of Allah
      He helps the one who tries to come close to him in unexpected ways after all nothing is impossible for him.
      And it is also said in the Quran the help of Allah is near but you know not.

  4. This article is spot on !! Jzk to the writer. being attached to others is one of the really difficult things in life. It’s quite difficult to be loving, caring for others and unattached to them at the same time. we don’t realise how much it actually affects us until we loss someone or go through that separation!!

    • It is tough but there is immense reward going to gain in difficult times if you can use them to make you stronger and bring you closer to Allah.

    • it’s really helpful .. Pray to allah he listens.. I hav fully trust on god he listens when u ask him . It says allah k waha der hain par andher nahi. It means u will b hear , may b not now bt llttle late but for sure
      M woman going under bad time all here just I want is dua that’s it just pray for me tht god helps me to go through which m going through now

  5. MashaaAllah, thanks for the tips, akhee. And fyi, the last one was the great one for me! It works! Make us busy in any good action and activity, and let the emotional attachment fly away. Ah ya, with the dua of course! Because only He who can flip the heart. :)

  6. Assalammualaikum.

    Great article. Thanks a lot. May Allah reward you with happiness in this world and the Hereafter. Amin.

    Just one question, what to do when someone you love are your parents or other family members who keep disappointing you despite the efforts you’ve done?

    You have tried to be sincere enough to whatever deeds you’ve done to them but they keep on disappointing you. What to do when things like this happen? They’re your family members so we can’t shun them away…

    Thank you in advance.

  7. Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu. May Allah bless all those who work on this website, all those who read it and those who benefit from it. May you reap the reward as fruits in Jannatul Firdaus. May Allah help all those who are suffering whether that be emotional or physical. This article came at the right time for me. May Allah make us amongst those who strive for His cause and to please Him and Him alone. Oh Ya Qawiyy, give us the strength to deal with our hardships in a way that is most pleasing to you. Ameen.
    Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu. I hope everyone has an amazing day/night. :)

  8. Great tips however as a psych major I have to object with the second recommendation. Resorting to sad music and movies is a must for some people who are upset. To overcome feelings of grief individuals like to listen to music or watch movies that expresses how they feel. It is RELATABLE and allows an individual to realise these emotions are felt by others and a normal part of being human, similar to speaking a friend or family member. Once that expression has been experienced, then it is fine. The major net to inevitably not get caught in is a downward spiral of grief that can become self-destructive.

    • An outlet being relatable was never a measure in Islam for whether something is good for you or not. Aside from the fact that most movies and songs contain more impermissible things than ever before such as pervasive ideas that will lead you down the wrong road and scenes of incredible immodesty, heck even psychological studies have shown that expressing a particular emotion makes you more susceptible to expressing it in the future. The only cure is to turn back to Allah, to pour your heart out to him alone and to cry in the darkest depths of the night. This not only encourages the ability to move on from past experiences but it also develops a sense of patience and gratitude within you that things may be difficult but at the end of the day Allah will provide you with better, and in unlimited abundance. So you can take back your objection to the second recommendation and I kindly request that you thoroughly look into where Western psychology might be at conflict with Islamic values and seek knowledge with how Islam itself encourages a healthy emotional solutions. A good book to start off with is called “Therapy from Quran and Ahadith” by Dr. Feryad A. Hussain, as it goes into these issues in detail and provides correct Islamic solutions that would actually leave you dumbfounded and make you say “Why didn’t I think of that?”.

  9. This is so true and reaches the heart and kind of cures all negative thoughts and leads you to a positive route. The right route. A route of light that changes your thinking also at whatever point you are in. SubhanAllah I have been in this situation at present, where a lot has changed in my life and I’ve had to move my life because of circumstances and instead of leaning on Allah to support me I had been wasting my time suffering from ‘social anxiety’. Wondering why people aren’t thinking of me and messaging me or thinking of how ‘bad’ I am. Questioning my worth based on how much people are remembering me or not. And I would become so anxious, so sorrowful, so nervous all the time. Thus, overall affecting my lifestyle, the people in my life, the people whom Allah have left with me as he knows they are what’s best for me. My very own family and those closest to me became those close to me yet I was worried of those further away from me whom probably not cared to think of me. Allah puts you in situations and puts people in your life at certain times because he knows what’s best for you, and knows to guide you through it to him. Opening your heart to him, knowing it is all from him and knowing we belong to him is the point of this life. People will come and go. Our duty is our manners and our train of thought. And making sure that whatever we are doing Allah be happy with it.

    • I have the exact same problem, fellow sister! I feel the exact same way! This feeling is really putting a lot of pressure on my chest! I used to have a lot of social anxiety, but not so much anymore Alhamdullilah!

  10. SubhanAllah it is amazing how Allah helps us through our own deficiencies and faults and those of others through the beautiful instruction of advise each other of the truth and advise each other of patience as you have helped me through a similar phase as you have described above Alhamdulillah this is what I feel and it has guided me to the right path indeed the love that goes beyond Allah can only hurt and is wrong as the Quran says that the true believers are indeed strongest in their love of Allah JazakAllah khair sisters and brothers for your efforts

  11. awesome insight mashallah very good for the youth who is only fornicating getting attached to the wrong people following
    the so called popular people ,being mislead in society due to not having a conscious knowledge of Islam I wonder sometimes how we can reach the youth ,thanks !

  12. Excellent! Jzkk for sharing. This is article I need most at this time. It is greatly appreciated! May Allah bless uou and you with jannah firdaus!Aaminn3x

  13. Subhanallah sister, it’s like you wrote this just for me. I spent the whole morning crying. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    I love you for the sake of Allah. Jazaki Allahu Khair

    Broken, tearful sister (who has wiped her tears away)

  14. Salaam and MashAllah, this is one of the best most practical and realistic advice I’ve read on this topic. Jazakallah khair! Please write more inshAllah so we can learn more. May we all be given the tawfiq to follow this advice ameen.

  15. Very well written article. Really motivating. Everyone of us go through these situations at some point in our lives. Some people those who are attached to Allah(swt) find it easy to handle and survive whereas many make the situation difficult. They become miserable, even face health problems due to these unhealthy relationships. Jazak Allah kair for this article. We find tranquility in our hearts when we do azkar.

  16. Subhanallah! This is beautiful and very well said. Barakallahu feeh.

    I have been through a practical breakdown coz I lost someone really dear to my heart; not to death, and it took me so long to get back up. On my way to regaining self-love and confidence, I met an amazing Lady who helped me get over it easily and also improve on my deen. We eventually became bossom friends. Alhamdulillah

    A few days ago, something came up which almost severed my relationship with this new friend and I literally panicked. I didn’t want to lose her. I had a test to study for but the thought of losing her- another important person in my life- kept bothering me. But then, I realized I had to get a good score and that thought of losing her would only distract my study. I found solace in the remembrance of Allah and that whatever He wills is what prevails.

    In the end, I could study for the test and I got my friend back; even better than ever :).

    Thia article brought all the memories back as I read through every paragraph. Jazak Allahu Khayr

  17. Very timely article. Going through this myself but Alhamdulillah, it didn’t feel like a great loss to me. Rather, the bitterness was more from the time and effort I have wasted on the person. However, medicine can be bitter and hard to swallow but it does one good at the end of the day.

  18. جزاكم الله خيرا to all the productive Muslim’s team. This is indeed an article i was looking forward to. May Allah ease our pain & help us be better Muslims ameen :)

  19. Assalamu alaikum,
    jazakallah khair! jazakallah khair! jazakallah khair! is what i feel from heart right now,this article was just apt for me!!!!!!
    i shpuld read these mails frequently inshallah,i never lost anyone but attched to geeting worried for work and so attched t a close one,will try to follow this InshAllah,
    jazakallah khair

  20. Jazakalahu khayra for the nice article,better to be very close to creator to remove bad thoughts even if we are in hard situation

  21. Jazaka Allah for this article. It actually helped me to remember some past events and regret all the time I wasted. But Insha’Allah it will not happen again.

  22. Very well written, it is just, when we encounter situations like these, we will make same mistake again, and waste our time thinking about what we did wrong. Maybe the difference is in the amount of time that we spend doing it, some of us will be paralyzed for couple of days, some of us for weeks, and some of us even for months. maybe my question would be, how to let go of someone or something in that very same moment when we realize that person does not want us in their lives? Cause every moment spent in grief is just a waste of time. Is it even possible to let go immediately?

  23. Jzk for this article, its very important n informative. Its hard to live without someone caring when we lost them.. but by the help of Allah we can overcome through patience. I try my best to utilize my most of the time in zikr n adhkar. Once again jazakallah khair for reminder.

  24. Recently, one of my best friends has stopped talking to me. She was kind of soul mate and everything for me (a friend, philosopher, shoulder to cry and vent out my frustration). All of a sudden due to some kinds of misunderstanding she has stopped talking to me, and the past few days/week have been awful. I felt as if the whole world has collapsed and universe has betrayed upon me. I kept on going back to understand what went wrong, over analysed almost every thing and couldn’t leave the past behind. Now, I left everything on Allah, knowing that my friend will be with me once again and that day we will sit down together and sort out all the misunderstandings and all between us will be normal again.

  25. “This world is like a shadow, run after it and you will never be able to catch it. Turn your back against it and it has no choice but to follow you.” – Ibn Al Qayyim This quote never fails to make me feel better. And so this article is really beneficial for me. Jazak Allah khairan :)

  26. Assalamualikum. A very well informative article. May Almighty Allah grant us Towfik to follow all the norms and guide lines. Everyone should read this article. Jazakallahu khairan. May Almighty Allah rewards you in this world and thereafter.

  27. Wonderful, and much needed, reminder. Attachment to people is a serious issue a lot of people face. I’ve found from my experience, with attachment, loyalty is expected and if you don’t live up to that loyalty, things go wrong. I don’t know if that makes sense but I’ve been through something similar to what this article describes and alhamdulillah, I’m pretty much over it now. Even so, this is comforting.

  28. Salam,
    A very true analysis leading to great cures from the ailments of the heart. Love Allah and love Allah’s creation the way He wants you to. Don’t expect anything from anyone. Do things for Allah’s sake only. Remember that His creation has rights over you and you can attain Jannah by fulfilling these rights for Allah. Think of it as a religious duty and not a personal pleasure.
    Jazakillahu khayre for this great motivation and much needed reminder.
    Mahria Haleema Babar Kardar

  29. JazakiAllah khayran! These steps are absolute productivity boosters! However, one little thing I wish to point out is ‘Who knows, maybe in the future, that person will come back into your life.’ is a thought a person trying to overcome attachment must completely avoid. They may want to cling to it like a false hope. And if it doesn’t happen, it becomes a crippling realization adding to the agony of loss. That’s just my thought :)

  30. Salamualekum waramatullahi wabarakatu . A much needed article for me right now. May almighty Allah make our affairs easy, guide us and protect us. A very good reminder for us is in Surat hadid (Quran 57 aya 22 and 23) all our affairs had been written in the pre- destined book and we should not over- exult ourselves when good happens or grieve too much when bad things happen. Jazakallah khairan to the writer and the productivemuslim team.

  31. Jazakalllohu Khair for up-to-date article. When I read “Think about who you are atteched to?” at the beginning of the article, I stopped for a minute and started thinking. And you know what? I found no such person =) Some might say it’s bad you havr no one to love. But I am happy! Alhamdulillah! My heart is not attached to anyone except Allah. Please make dua for me so that I always have this love towards Allah and no one else. Jazakalllohu khair! =)

  32. Jazakallahu khair for the article. I was going through with this difficulty.. Was wasting my time dwelling on the past. Crying and weeping… Alhmadulillah after reading this article I realize what I’m doing is worng and no benefit out of it jazakallahu khair once again. Please remember me in your duas. Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakathuhu.

  33. Assalamu’Alaykum
    As always expected from Productive MUSLIM, your post really inspire me a lot..
    This was a very practical solution for the problem that I’ve been recently facing. In sha Allah I’ll try my best to implement these ideas into my lifestyle
    Jazak Allahu khayran

  34. Assalamualaikum.yes I hv been attached to sunone .nd trust me since yesterday nyt I was just thinking about all this.yes yes I was attached to sumone.i lost beautiful opportunities for my career.nd still I was in contact with that person.i was hurt very badly.this haened to me in july but its Jan now I was still stuck.may be life is so.I indeed really wasted lot of Tim thinking about sumthng as a result I lost many gud chances.y is it happens.

  35. JazakAllahu Khairan,
    in fact this article has inspired me to throw this first reply since I joined the team of productive Muslims. I must say that most of us are victims of attaching our selves to something or someone. But now I have rudiments of desisting from such act, perhaps how do we respond to the emotions attached to loving our spouse?

    • MashaaAllah .this article really touched me and it really helped me go through my current situation.thank you very much and may Allah guide us all to the straight path.amiin

  36. Assalaam Alaykum.
    MashaAllah this is very useful especially for the time we are living with so much problems and disappointments.

    BarakaAllah Fykum

  37. Assalamu alaikum..jazakAllahu khair for this valueable will help me alot, i will go through it every time i need a shoulder to cry ,for someone not in my life now..

  38. JazakAllah khair for this beautiful reminder. May ALLAH the Almighty rewards you for all your efforts to make us Productive Ummah

  39. Jazakallahu khairan! This article is absolutely spot on and came exactly when I needed it. Someone I really cared about recently told me they didn’t want to be in my life anymore and it absolutely devasted me. I spent countless hours replaying every conversation, analysing every message to see if there was anything I could have done differently. I let it mess with my health, work and state of mind and I behaved in a way that wasn’t befitting of a slave of Allah. It’s only through returning to Allah and the Qur’an that the pain I felt from the ‘break up’ has subsided. I have certainly learned that my attachment should only be to Allah as attachment to anything else only leads to pain.

  40. Mashallah very true informative article
    Covered everything about attachment.
    The only thing I can add is when you are going through this period to remember sabroon jameel. The most beautiful thing is patience.
    And ask a learned wise person for help to guide you through ahadith and Koran if you are in difficulties.
    May allah help and guide us all

  41. A very good article on emotion control and very healthy tips provided according to quran and sunnah especialy evaluation of the importance of time is superb.Jazak

  42. Jazakumullah khair.
    I have been experiencing this unsatisfaction with my study as it has not been going as I wanted it to be. While reading your article this evening, I realized that having gotten the opportunity to have improve and learn more about my Deen, I have achieved something more worthy. I honestly, would like to thank you for the encouragement in this “sad” period experienced. May Allah reward you with all His bounties.

  43. Thank you for this article, it opened my eyes to a new way of being attached to the dunya .I have never really thought about it however this article explains it really clearly and hopefully will make help me to make improvements in my life!

  44. Good article.
    I think most of the times we don’t realise how we are attached to someone until things go sour and we are hurt. Its hard to understand why things go the way they do but Allah swt knows best.

  45. I was archiving my emails whilst I noticed an unopened productive muslim email! This article subhanallah felt so reassuring whilst reading. I am greatful to have read this article at a. very confusing stage in my life. Massive thank you to the sister who wrote this and the entire productive muslim team!

  46. Aoa
    Very productiv artical
    I think its good point that tym is passing and passing so make ur life productive.jazakAllah

  47. Subhanallah, a very good article.

    So true on my experience. I ask Allah for protection, patience and strength. I can’t let myself dwell on the past by thinking about how things could have gone differently. Things weren’t drawing me closer to Allah, so I learnt to let the past go. I learnt to put life into perspective, that the life now is a test. Only our preparation for life in the hereafter matters. I realized how much Qur’an I have memorized and understood during difficult times and am grateful of blessings that come out of it.

  48. Salam
    Jazakallahu khair! This article is a live changing article may Allah reward u for this inspiring topic. It has really make me think twice towards my attachment to my follow human being. May Allah guide us to d right part

  49. MashaAllah, this is a very motivational write up. Just the spot on type of reminder I need at this point in my life. Jazakhallahu khairan

  50. Jazzakhallah khair my dear sister.
    Very well timed, I really needed this article, this motivation right now.
    It’s true, the closer we are to Allah S the easier we will cope with the tests of this Dunya.
    May Allah S guide us all ameen.

  51. To cope with any problems coming along our way, be positive, asking Allah for help and trusting Him, and in Sha Allah our paths will be smoother with His Aid.

  52. alhamthulillah!! A nice article…wch tch my heart…
    Dear sister,,i also hv dz problem wth emotions…if u r able ,, cud u plz hlp me..

  53. SubhanAllah it feels like Allah wanted me to come across this article to help me as I am going through a difficult time in my life.
    Alhamdulilah I found it informative and comforting. It has also reassured me on how I’m trying to deal with this situation. Alhamdulilah.
    I just feel that no matter difficult the trial, we don’t have the right to complain! Just think about everything that Allah has done for us, that should be enough to stop us in our tracks to negativity. But we are humans and when deep love/spouse/family/friends are involved it is sometimes difficult to stay productive.
    May Allah help us all to pass our tests in sha Allah.

  54. Jazakillahu khairan! I have never read something like this, I must commend. But still yet, I find it difficult to detach myself from people I love. I always think about them and expect them to reciprocate the love I give to them because I am willing to give more. But it keeps hurting and turning out sour. I really want to be detached!

  55. Jazakillah o khairan kathira. i lost my father about two years ago. my mother had been gone since my birth. dealing with loss is ofcourse difficult but the most important thing to remember is that self-pity is a bottomless well. if u fall, ur gone. neverthless it creeps upon u and u have to shake it off urself.
    Allah always gives u alternates if he takes something away from u. my father’s family looked after me with more love, compassion n care than anybody else couldve done. yes i feel the loss, but i also feel thankful for the things He gave me. the trick is not to let the loss overwhelm u.

  56. Jazaakillah kheyr. What a gift! I’ve been so emotionally-untangled these few days. I miss my childhood too much time. I keep reminded of my late parents and I was so cravinh and dying to go back to the past. The reality it is impossible and I keep reminding myself to be a better muslim by trying to distract myself away. I buy books, I try foods. I am going to visit my friends tomorrow to keep up with them. But truthfully, when I read tafsir and try to ponder upon verses from Koran, it is when my heart rest the easiest. But I will not deny that it is hard too, to make time for Koran when you are exposed and tended to sink and get yourself drown with sad movies and songs. I found myself in them. But l can’t get myself out of them. Which makes thing harder. So, I must thank you to make effort on this precious sharing. We people are so fragile and thus makes this reminder very helpful for all. May Allah bless you, sister :)

  57. If difficult times come forth I think we should only engage in commitments with the best of intentions and for the sake of Allah, once we have done that, then and only then we have put our trust in Allah.

    The quote bellow summed it for me.

    “But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.”1 [Qur’an: Chapter 2, Verse 216]

    Jazakallahu khairan

  58. Alhamdulillah for having this inspiring article!!!
    Truly, letting go is difficult but yet easier when one depends on Allaah. I’m currently facing this problem but then I still remember the numerous du’a taught by the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w which I do recite.

    And some verses of Qur’an give me tranquillity: Q26:78-90
    “Wa ufawwidu amree ila Allaah innallaaha baseerun bio ‘ibaad”

  59. Jazakallahu khayr!!! For posting such an article!!!! It really gave me energy to move on in ma life!! Alhamdulillah!!! Nd barakallah!!!!

  60. Mashah Allah,very beneficial words
    please include my uncle in your duas,his children left him and he is now ina worst mindset trying to cope with his life.

  61. Amazing and very practical topic to write on. It’s very helpful for countless people!e. Very smart and useful ideas discussed. JazakAllah khair sister :)

  62. This came just in time!

    Sometimes the people you choose to love most in life hurt you in the most unimaginable ways, and then you realise that it was your fault that you let them be in the most special chamber of your heart where only Allah SWT is supposed to be.

    Not making the mistake twice, I have gone ahead to pursue Islamic education rather than wasting time feeling sorry for myself, analysing what went wrong, hating other people and so on. Everyone can get true love, and true love for the Creator only. Your relationship with other people is a reflection of the love for Allah SWT; this is where the attribute of Ikhlaas comes in.

    Jzk sister, I have made a list of the things I should be doing but this article is so well-written, comprehensive and heart-touching! May Allah SWT keep you strong and steadfast.

    Keep writing great articles sister!

  63. Most important to me after reading the article is to apply it in my life.I fall back everytime.May Allah swt help me to follow sincerely.

  64. My only sister has passed away a month ago. I know that death was written in lauh al mahfuzh and can’t be changed. I do dzikr everytime my mind start to wander. I appear tough at the outside but honestly i can’t sleep well ever since and i cry secretly everytime i remember her. But i believe in Allah’s promise. With every hardship, comes ease :)

  65. Assalamou alaikoum warahmatoullahi wabarakatuh
    I know this sounds cliche but trust me when I tell you, that your article hit the nail on the head. I have recently realized how negativity has pulled me down. I always found myself “forcing” friendship with some sisters. SubhanAllah. The guilt was always on me “if I don’t say salaam, then I am avoiding my sister in Islam”, “it’s my fault if they are not reciprocating friendship, I should do a better job”, “they MUST love me the way I love them”, “I am hurt when they don’t check on me, but I will check on them anyway”. It hurts. BAD. The most hurtful part of it all is when you realize that your absence in their lives does not affect them at all.
    I got so used to dwelling on pain that I forgot about my other responsibilities. As a result, my school performance went downhill, and it is now hard to forgive myself. All this time wasted at running after people when I could have worked on myself. I think another reason we feel pressured to be attached to people is social media. For example, Facebook and Whatsapp gave me the impression that I *HAVE* to be “friends” with EVERYBODY, when it fact we should categorize our friendships (speaking from a female perspective) to avoid emotional turmoil. 3 types of friends: Stars: these are your close family members, your childhood friends, people with whom there is reciprocity in your relationship. They shine in your life and serve as a pillar. Flowers: These are friends that you will casually meet and share fewer things in common. Be polite, say Salaam, hang out once in a while, but don’t *FORCE* the relationship to go deeper if the other person doesn’t feel comfortable. Breezes: These are sisters who come in and out of your life easily. You probably have nothing in common, and the conversations are dry and awkward (no matter how hard you try). Don’t let it hurt you. Just acknowledge that you do not have to be best friends with everyone. Keep polite ties with them, and say Salaam for the sake of Allah. Do not expect anything in return. Redirect your energy to the remberance of Allah (istighfar really helps), and your stars: friends who love you just the way you are.

  66. AssalamuAlaikum, Masha’Allah. I’m glad to have more background about these things in life. I hope to find more background about getting less attached to dunya (which one of my personal struggles).
    May Allah (s.w.t) elevates you in dunya and akhira).

  67. Alhamdulillah this article truly serves as such a wake up call for me. I felt like I lost myself in so many ways the past few months and in my journey to somewhat “search” for my soulmate, I discovered how true it is that we should all be with someone who makes us a better person overall.

    I thought I had met my best friend, someone who could support me in every single way and someone who could always be my pillar of strength. Nonetheless, I realised how I changed my ways to suit his lifestyle, I started smoking socially and I would neglect my prayers just because it was always a sensitive subject to interrupt our dates or change the time. I also accepted his drinking habits because he assured me that he will ONE DAY change and repent. Though the more I got to know him, the more I realised that he is not the person I would want to be with and that he was just too wild and so far from our religion. Heartbreaking at times, but I realised that I don’t have the time to wait for a miracle to happen or to push him too much to change for the better. I believe if someone were to repent and follow the right path, it should be on their own terms and own intention, not because their partner threatened or advised so, or what the society thinks they should do.

    I broke down once after performing my solat and I cried so much, feeling sorry and so regretful for the things I had done, and also a sense of relief and gratefulness for receiving the signs and hidayah to turn back to the right path at this stage. I am so thankful now, that I can move on with my life and focus on what is truly important for my life and I know, the right partner, my imaam and the father to my future children is out there.

    I also believe the quote that God will not change my condition until I change what is in myself.

  68. Salaamu alaikum warahmatullaah,

    I pray this message reaches you all in the best of health. I have a problem & I hope u can help me with. I have recently been informed that a Muslim women that I was once engaged to is in the dunya and although things didn’t work out between us & I have sinced moved on, I’m still very concerned about her. I haven’t been eating or sleeping right & I have been making strong dua for her. I just wish I could help but I feel so powerless. I just hate to see a once practicing Muslim give up their life & submit to the darkness of this world around us. Is there any advice anyone can give me?

  69. assalam … i am going through a very rough phase of my life . my boyfriend broke up with me recently and he is the one i considered as the very centre of my universe . i am not able to cope up with this loss . i am losing focus i cant study . i cry all day and ask allah to send him back to me . this feeling is really suffocating. at one point of time i even thought of killing myself becos i dont want to deal with it anymore i dont want to go through this pain anymore . pls make dua for me . i need guidance and i need help . pls prat for me .

  70. Just awesome. I wish I had this article when I was in the worst time of my life. I have lost almost everything good in my life. My academic result, my intimacy with my family, my extra curricular activities everything is almost gone. I wasted almost two years of life for my depression only for one person. Now I realize how fool I am! All the writings I read nowadays make me feel sorry and cry and I regret how I wasted my time for a human being who never could even respect me..

  71. Salam,

    I enjoyed reading the article. I don’t know why but I can’t seem to let go of people. I become so attached to people that I feel like my heart breaks when they leave. I do a lot of dhikr and isthigfir but I can still feel the sadness in my heart. I remember Allah all the time but I can’t help but miss that one person. I really don’t know what to do anymore. it’s been over 6 months and not a day has gone by where I’ve not stopped crying or stopped thinking about it. I pray my 5 prayers and also try and pray tahajjud and I read up on articles and turn to Allah only for my problems. but I still can’t let go off this person. I feel like I’m ruining my life over this person. I remember death and I am grateful for all that I have and don’t have but my heart still feels like it’s breaking. I don’t watch movies or anything. I prefer to sit on the prayer matt and speak to Allah and cry. I have many friends but I don’t like talking to them about my problems as I do not wish to burden them. I try and recite the Qur’an and also read the translations so I can understand it better. I just don’t get where I’m going wrong. I know I have a extremely soft heart and I cry when I see other people crying, regardless of whether I know them or not. I understand that we will have to face death alone and I remind myself of this as well. I just feel helpless and tired.

  72. Assalam alaikum,i really love your article,i lost someone that means the world to me recently,but in a different way he answer the call of Allah,my husband is everything to me,he died one year ago,since then i am lost,nothing seems to matter anymore to me,i don’t enjoy anything in this life,i am always sad and frustrated on everything,i don’t know how to continue without him

  73. Aslaamualaikum Wa Rehmatullahi Wa Barakatahu
    Dear Productive muslim t
    My mother passed away a week ago …….I thought I would be really strong and be able to cope with my mothers death because of the little Islamic knowledge I have.
    But I feel I dont eant to speak to anyone .
    I dont feel like doing anything.
    My mother died of last stage cancer.
    Me my sisters our husband’s grandchildren were all there.
    Mum stopped responding on Thursday and passed away at home on Friday just before Dhuhr athan.
    I cannot get her out of my mind and its killing me…
    I know its early days….but I feel like screaming the place down .
    My mother is buried 3 minutes from where I live.
    I don’t feel like hoing to my mother’s grave….it hurts too much.
    Please give me some advice.
    Will everything become back ok..
    I feel I’m neglectinb my husband and my 3 young adult children too.
    I just want to be left alone.
    Jazak Allah Khair

  74. Mashallah, a sister friend just sent this to me, I’ve been suffering from family rejection because of my seen. The depression caused me to just stop living, reading this has makes me smile. Some times as Muslims we have the knowledge with us, but it takes someone else to really open our eyes with their voice, I believe I can let go of their rejection and see what’s in front of me after reading this, I’m smiling right now and it feels sooooo nice. Love, Khadijah Larita

  75. Masha Allah , written by somebody who is very understanding . Felt like just what i needed to hear. May Allah swt bless you for helping others and guiding youths. Ameen

  76. Salamwaleikum,
    Sincere thanks to the writer if this article. I feel so much relieved after reading it and every loss in life seems small to me now. My heart is filled with praise for allah tala and i wish to get closer to him every passing day.
    Allah Hu Akbar!!

  77. Wonderful article. Sometimes its easy to say to forget things at once… but it definitely take alot of time to get over with some thing that u never ever imagined to happen with you. Things go wrong when we get overly attached to people other than our own families or sometimes its just your worst fears that come in your life where you get heart broken. The utmost thing is being Thankful to Allah for making us realize the value of everything… and the main test starts afterwards whether you keep on dwelling or you change yourself for the sake of Allah.

  78. MasAllah , this type of productive article is really help us to remind our true action when we are going down by thinking too much about the worldly life .

  79. I am 22 years i have been in love with someone for 8 years it started of as a like then over the years slowly we got together things became serious we decided we will get married i have no parents so I was working saving for us and doing everything, she means to the world to me i couldn’t see anything else beyond it took us many years to get here i was happy but I forgot i that I was disobeying allah i was doing haram like it was we are going to get married soon anways and saytan made me do many things,last Ramadan i did something stupid and she found left me and it broke me apart that day from onwards i started to pray but I didn’t stop trying to apologise i did everything was in my hand for months I begged i went down, i went for help my family friend maulana because i was restless so much pain to see her go away everything shatterd becase of me but she went away she found way to keep her happy, for me i wanted to kill myself as it seems pointless one day I see video of Numan ali khan where he says about suicide where allah will not be happy and that got me and i didn’t go to him like this as I done many stuff in the past I only found contentment in namaz, i used to beg allah for her but people told me and i realise that she is not meant to be for me it had to happen this way but took many months like it’s been 7 8 months now i manged to keep myself busy i love her still always will but i don’t want to be in one place where she has moved on i want to focus on myself now, yes I wanted to have family kids with her i cant imagine all this with someone else but allah knows the best, make dua for everyone it still hurts but i have learned to live i have to please pray for me, i pray for her still but not asking for her bup for her good long live her forgiveness i can’t imagine her being with someone else so I stopped everything that will remind me of her

  80. Assalamualaikum wbt. subhanAllah i feel better after reading this. i know this is by Allah will for me to read this. Im pretty sure everybody in this world will go through this situation. yeah we will getting hurt and pain for losing something we love. Its okay if Allah take away something we love right now .Remember if we lost something for sure we will replace it with something new or even better. Eventhough it would not be the same as before for sure it must be something that fix with our need. Trust Allah…i know if Allah take something away from me Allah want to give something better than it. Maybe that thing is not good for me.But i think its good for me. Maybe its just temporarily lost to teach me how to be patience and become a better person.Maybe because of our sin. make sure always say astaghfirullah repent to Allah and you musr know the benefit of saying it. its okay we feel hurt shaa Allah we will smile one day because this loss and pain happen in our life..masyaAllah…so have patience…put trust in Allah…Allah know what is good for us…dont give up..have a good intention in our heart..forgive people that hurt you…thank for this article love it. i pray for evryone may Allah give us happiness in dunya n hereafter…may Allay give us right spouses to accompany us in dunya and hereafter..may Allah give us good offspring to cool our heart…may Allah make easy for us in every situation we face…:)

  81. Jazak Allah Khayr! Found this really helpful Alhamdulillah. Please keep up the amazing work, we need these reminders so much!

  82. Thank you so much for your hard work, what a beautiful description you mentioned- MashaAllah!

    May Allah grant us deeper understanding and grant the wisdom to think and speak what is good for us, so the further decisions come easy.

    Thank you again for all your support and nice words.

  83. Be true to urself do what u feel is rite. Obey Allah. And leave the rest to him. Everybody life is precious! Uve been put on earth to enjoy Allah creation celebrate life enjoy. Sins will be forgiven. Random act of kindness a day. Everything must be from the heart. U must love mankind first. U can’t hate people and say I love Allah . Allah needs no help or sympathy. I came here angry to moan girlfriend problem. Not going to now cooled off. True satisfaction is helping other people . Showing off waste of time and not appreciated. Worst case scenario is worrying bout people what they think and forgetting the eye in the sky. Everybody chasing money in this lifetime, which can end anytime soon. We trading bullshit for eternity. Not bullshit it’s what we make of it. Nobody is loser atleast we lucky enough to see the world. God bless .

  84. Salaam,

    It recently happened to me that someone left me because his family disapproved him marrying a divorced woman with a child. I did asked him, when I met him and proposed to me for marriage, whether his family has any objections and willing to accept me? That time he assured me that they will.

    I became broken when he left me and forgotten the feeling and love we both shared. Since then I seeked help from Allah (SWT) for help to ease my pain and make me stronger, as well as for forgiveness.
    This really had benefitted me not only that I started focusing with my life in productive manners but also am planning to study further which will benefit for my career and my child.

    With prays I kept my past out of my mind. I believe that there is a good reason why we don’t get what we want. All we need is to remember Allah (SWT) and be patient.
    We should not allow someone to take control of us. This is where we become emotional and attached to that person.

  85. This was really motivating
    Specially the point about remembering death.
    The earlier site I visited encouraged to go on for movies That’s so bad

  86. jazkallah, very informative newsletter.
    i have been tested
    by allah with relations and this info has helped.

  87. Thank you for the article. I need this piece right. I’m really sad as I have bad relationship with my family. I don’t have a job and I’m not married and have a family of my own. I feel lonely and I’ve cried every day. My mother has said nasty words to me. She has abandoned me and my brother and is very clingy to my father. My father has two wives and my mother is the first wife. My father has beaten me twice and I get bruises from the beating. I’ve applied for jobs but were rejected. I have a small amount of savings and I’ve gotten a room to rent. I’m going to leave my home and try again in securing a job. Please pray for my success as I need it very much right now. I pray to Allah SWT for stronger iman.

  88. May Allah bless you for this article it helped me in more ways than you can ever image. May Allah bless you your family friens and all those you love may he bless you in this life and the hereafter may he increase your reward and decrease your sins. Allumdullah.

  89. Beautiful piece. Thank you very much. Do you maybe have advice for me in letting go someones past. That person really hurt me after that person unveiled their secrets to me. I am so attached to that person that it brakes me as if I should have been the one to safe her from the horrible sins she commited while i didnt even knew her back then. Do you have more advice or are the priniciples outlined above sufficient?

    Shokran and djazakAllahu khar.

  90. how do you know ? did u experienced before ? this article so much , true bout me . i’m miss so much that person and i really care bout her .. yeah . i did so much things and i do i remind my favors toward her .but my question is even if i miss so much my ustadha is that wrong ? because she’s really important to my life . she really inspired me , i know u all also have important person in your life right ? i do i have my parents to , but is this wrong or i’m get trapped by shaitan? , she’s the one make me happy , sometimes she make me cry . btw this article really hit me . and i have a emotional issues , really easy to cry , i don’t know whenever is best thing to do or loser person . may allah reward u jannah . thanks for sharing this .

    sory for my bad grammar, hope u can understand this T_T

  91. Subhanallah. Its beautifully written. I had faced this problem in my life last year where I started to think of committing suicide because things are out of my control. Someone I love suddenly left me, my friends misunderstood, and began to hate me. I feel like my life is going to hell. But alhmdulillah, I got friends that are not close to me before, but they have strong faith in Islam. They adviced me, introduced me to see ustazha etc. And now I’m so glad that I’ve getting stronger. I just need to learn not to overly attached to people. But somehow, at certain time I do feel sad thinking bout all of this, how my friends who do not pray, not fasting but still can live their live happily, getting rich and get good grades in exam while me, doing those ibadah but I’m losing my boyfriend, my friends. Plus I’m not rich and not really that good at academics. Thinking life is not fair making me feel like ended my life. But alhmdulillah.. I’m trying my best to strengthen my imaan and keep going. I hope Allah will pay for my injustice and I hope my patience bear fruits sooner or later. Ameen.

  92. I wish I read this article before I reacted badly to when someone went out of my life. However from my experience, it’s made me realise that you shouldn’t get too attached to people, and try to have less expectations and I have learnt a lot especially self improvement.

  93. What an old aged mentally and physicaly sick parents do when their married son with whom they live as dependant start abusing and disconnecting them. Parents have no energy nor any resources to live separately in USA.
    The Eligiblity also not workable as Parents names and credit used by son for their business and family benefits. Now things started changing and married son and family even grand kids started misbehaving and abusing and it seems that time is near parents may be forced to get out of their house. Allah swt knows and help sufferingvparents and ease their pain and burdens at this age. Aameen

  94. JZK
    It helped me alot…..
    I hope other people will also gain benefit from this article
    May you be in the light of good

  95. Recently attached to a person just by seeing him his piety his decency so much that i wanted to marry him..some how i proposed him for marraige but he said he is engaged n will be married soon ..i always asked him in my duaas …even i wanted to be his second wife but he disagreed…Allah can make ways i m.seeking Allah’s help…m.too hurted unabke to come out of the situation …plz help…as u have said m keeping myself busy in Allah’s dhikr …but i m.too shattered …m.seeking Allah ‘s help …but plz help me.come out of situation..

  96. That was so a nice article…. plzz tell me that dua which hazrat Muhammad taught hazrat ali when hazrat ali asked for a dua rather taking 50000 goats from Muhammad (S.A.W)… i couldn’t find it on internet
    Again thanks for the informative article
    May Allah bless you…

  97. Thank you for this article. I am a Muslim-convert and have recently got into a bad situation. My family had helped my step-sister take care of her child for 6yrs. My mum was the primary care giver to this child and when we return her to my step-sister and offered to pay tuition for the child, step-sis told us to either pay for all 4 of her children else it’s not fair.

    After much disagreement, we found out her intentions to cut off contact with us, the child is forced to stay away from care-giver, and she is threatened with canning if she ever cries
    and ask for us.

    I wrote a long letter to my step sister, stating that her claim for fairness was hypocrital cos after we help her for 6yrs, she would use her child to hurt us by alienating the child from us.

    So I would like to know, did we just nullified the love and care we gave the child for 6 yrs when we tried to reason with her?

  98. A timely article.Jazakallah khair

    It is something really difficult to cope up when someone or something you care about steps out from your life.Almost all of us would have expereinced it or some are yet to experience.However eventualy we will come to conclusion that nothing in thisworld is permanant and that only Allah’s existence is eternal.Allah will take a away a few things you love to make you realize that truth.
    It will be difficult to accept at the beginning but as time passes you will see that instead of attaching yourself to worldly things you will slowly maturely be working on to attach to your Creator than to the creation.And when you reach that point you will see that all that you care about is pleasing your Creator.

  99. I am a guy whose really interested in learning deen m trying my best to do everything according to sunnah I liked one of my cousin sister her parents my parents n me we all were agreed for our marriage but she rejected me just for one reason she didn’t wanted to marry in family….I just felt I lost everything. …I tried my best to convince her but just one reason family…she said tomorrow if theres any fight between us our whole family gonna break…… now m just trying to move on…with ALLAH SWT help….n this post really motivated me….Jazakallahu khayran for the post

  100. Salaam. My girlfriend recently left me. She felt guilty about being in a relationship because it is unislamic and because of societal pressures of arranged marriage. The thing is she became very religious and I on the other hand was going further and further away from religion. After we broke up I came to university abroad and started getting further away from Islam and I’m turn started feeling really depressed. I’ve realised this is because of the lack of faith in my life. I want to become a better Muslim for my mental health, the hereafter but another big motivator is that I want Allah’s help in getting her back. The reason why I want to get back with her is because she thinks in the same way I have started to think, I.e, we want to live a life removed from the superficial aspects of society, be happy and dedicate our life to doing good. Is this wrong? Should I change my thinking? I’m happy to accept that I may not get back with her because I believe Allah will give me the strength and the patience to get over her. Also, I know Allah can send someone else in my life just like her in term of thinking or someone even better. But I’m worried that my mentality and reasons to change (get her Back) are wrong. I’m sorry if this has nothing to do with the article. Thank you.

  101. Dear brothers and sisters i am the most depressed i have been in my entire life. I am 15 yrs old and there is this non muslim girl who i have fallen i love with over time and i cant stop thinking about her. Recently she started dating one of my friends which made me more than sad even though i know its not a good thing. I have prayed to allah but my sadness and me being depressed hasn’t changed.