No matter how productive or positive a person is, they can face a temporary “inability-to-be-productive-error” which makes us indulge in many common social mistakes such as not wanting to maintain good relations with people around us.
It was narrated that Abu Hanifa said to Dawud al-Taa’i, “Why do you prefer seclusion?” Dawud replied, “To struggle against myself to leave disputing.” Abu Hanifah said, “Attend meetings, listen to what is said, and remain silent.” Dawud said, “I have done so, but I have found nothing heavier than this.”
Man is undoubtedly a social creature – no matter how hard you try to draw a safe circle, you have to socialize and progress in society. While you can’t always choose who crosses your path, let’s look at 5 ways you can maintain good relationships with the people around you.
Tip #1 Positivism never fails:
The first most important tip is to be kind to your own self, be merciful to your soul, let it breathe full, nourish it with positive thoughts and let that shine out to the whole world. This will make people around you get immersed within your positive vibes. Throw yourself in the sea of negativity about everything and everyone and nothing will reach you back except the echoes of people who will be too afraid to communicate with you or either reluctant to be around you for any good reason. So be positive; a positivist never fails.
Tip #2 Control your tantrums:
How easily we get annoyed by even the slightest of things! And how hard it becomes to overcome this tantrum behavior. But without self control, you cannot achieve excellence. So give your best to all people – family, friends, and strangers – for the sake of your own soul and don’t throw your tantrums over people. Those who have done you no harm do not deserve it, and those who have made you angry don’t care of your anger; so why the fuss to exhaust yourself? Think about it.
“And speak nicely to people” [2:83].
Tip #3 Bring kindness in your speech and actions/be wise: It liberates.
When was the last time you did something embarrassing like raise your voice in an argument, only to regret your decision? The damage it brings is more to our own selves. We hurt ourselves and we hurt others. Secondly, we disappoint even the loved ones around us with such intense low-to-the-ground behavior. Th result? Jeopardized relations. If you’re a victim of it, you just need to spend 2 quality minutes working it out. This exercise is called Recall and Heal. Think of a situation which had been harmful for you in the past, perhaps where you think you could have practiced self-discipline but didn’t. Now recall your response made to it when it occurred. Was it too controlled or foolish and avoidable? Learn a lesson from this embarrassment and make a note to yourself to go wise next time with people. It makes you a wise person and liberates.
“If they pass by some vain speech or play, they pass by it with dignity.” [25:72].
Tip #4 Don’t mind the strangers:
There are people with whom we interact on a daily basis and people who we see occasionally (and perhaps do not even interact with), but our reputations do. These strangers can be our far off relatives or colleagues or very old friends. Please do not forget, it’s equally important to keep good relations even with those strangers that we hardly know. Treat them well. If you happen to be in the same environment as they are, be soft with your eyes when passing by them. Use your body language to interact positively without using words. If angered by them, keep silent. This keeps our contacts tied to us in good shape and also makes our stranger enemies still respect us.
Tip #5 Moment for reflection:
Your reward is with Allah and not with people, so take a moment to reflect. Once you realise this life is a test and your actions are observed by Allah Almighty, you’ll begin to absorb the bigger picture – and then the affairs of this world seem to look so small. Forgiving people becomes easy. Ignoring the mistakes of people and going smooth with them becomes your nature. Why? You have finally given up the malice of your heart for the happiness of Allah!
If you give your best to the people and then wait for your reward from your Lord, you become abundant with blessings without you even knowing it. SubhanAllah. That’s the beauty of practicing good manners like the Prophets and Pious people of Muslim Ummah.
And now to raise your spirits high, let me end on a positive note:
“Peace be upon you, because you persevered in patience! Excellent indeed is the final home!” [13:24].
About the Author:
Pervisha Khan is from From Lahore, Pakistan. You can read Pervisha’s blog at khanumsays.wordpress.com.