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  1. The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother!” Can you give me some good points how this will effect in children’s ?

    • Children listen with their EYES. They see us and then try to emulate us.

      Thus as a father, ‘loving’ the mother would ensure, the children learn to appreciate their mother.

      When a husband respects his wife, this reflects in the children, here I say the ‘teenagers’ especially learn to value and respect their mother. An example, is when a father appreciates the food at dinner, the children begin to see value in their mother’ time spend at kitchen.

    • Also in adulthood they will have less insecurities in their own marriages, you don’t want your kids to go through divorce do you.

  2. Alhumdulilah! this is a good reminder for Fathers as often when we talk about Parenting what comes to everyones mind is just “mother”, “mother” and “mother” this is a good start, I am excited to read part 2

  3. Very wise article and suggestion/ tips!
    Have been to br Dawood vaid’s parenting workshops and must say they’re very enlightening.Alhamdulillah
    Looking fwd for more from the author and other motivational speakers/writers.
    Jazakallah khair to br Abu Productive and the Productive Muslim team.
    PS: would like more articles on productivity for parents with young children and how to involve them in our everyday chores

  4. I do agree that the role of father is more than “Administrative Work” and My child is about to 2 years but I am very much concern about him, The way he copies me…
    And wonderful Hadith from Abu Hurairah, I try to do duas a lot..and stick not 10 duas but 20.

    JazakAllah khair for wonderful Action plans.

    May Allah make it easy for us. Ameen

  5. ما شا الله excellent article brother Dawood! I learnt so much on parenting in such a short time ( even though I’m yet to be a parent:)).
    Lessons learnt and derived( a summary):
    The child’s best of friends need to be their parents ( this is a special bond; that entails treating their parents in the most respectful of ways) , so that whatever troubles or solutions they need , they turn to their parents first.
    Parents should be their mentors, not their tormentors!

    جزاك الله خير for these wonderful reflections brother,
    Akeel Ahamed

    • Jazakallah sister for your very thoughtful question. Children ‘ape’ their parents. Infact one of the research says, that all a child want to be when they grow up is their Father or Mother.

      So while most of parent re-live their dreams and what they could not be through their children, a more practical approach is to share your dreams with them.

      With right skills and attitude, let them then decide if they want to be so or wish to pursue another career / ambition.

  6. I don’t think the most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. What if he loves her very much but then is a bad father to the children. He could love the mother but then he doesn’t pray or even tell the children to pray. So has he helped them just by loving the mother ?what you should say is he shouldn’t quarrel with the mother in front of the children. He should be a good role model to the children and practice whatever he preaches.quantity time if it is spent doing destructive things like watching tv is not going to help the children. So the emphasis should be more on quality than quantity. Try to strike a balance between the quantity and quality. The most important virtue a father can instil in his children is the fear of Allah(Azza wa jal) because that is the root of all good deeds. He should also teach his children to love Allah and his messenger. I think I have said enough.

  7. Well said Sister. And yes ‘love has conditions.’
    Loving the mother entails the 3A of relationship – Appreciate, Acknowledge and Admit. Appreciate her efforts, acknowledge her contribution in raising the kids and admit when you fall short.

    So a good father’s love for his ‘wife’ would mean he lives upto being a role model ‘husband. As Rasulullah peace on him said, ‘And I am the best to my family.’

    Also as Imam Ibnul Qayyim said, fear and hope should be in equal balance. So while the father installs ‘fear’ of Allah, he should also install equal amount of ‘hope’ in Allah subhanawatala.

  8. جزاك الله خير brother Dawood for a wonderful article on Parenting and showing how important the parents are in shaping the destinies of their children:)
    One of the most important lessons I learnt is that parents should build a strong relationship with their children so that the parents become their best of friends; so that whatever problem or question they have , the first person they turn to is their parents , rather than anyone else.

    Looking for ward to the next article
    جزاك الله خير

  9. Masha Allah a very effective input. Yes I agree that when a father follows the Quran nd the sun nah he will definitely be a gud father. Secondly if it is a doubt that a father who.loves the mother of his children may be a gud father but may not ask.them to pray or like wise. I feel.there is no question of this because a father when he loves the mother of his children it is evident enough that he accepts her as the one who has borne and given birth to his children nd this is ecstasy for any mother in the world. And more over the author puts it beautifully with the help of the context of the Quran and the sunnah

  10. MashaAllah! Wonderful advices! And talking about reading together with kids, can you suggest some good Seerah books (like you have mentioned in your article) which are attractive for kids because most of them I find are very academical.
    JazakAllah khair.

    • Seerah is life. There are some wonderfully written seerah books for kids, but I would share a more ‘productive’ tip (after all we are here on the productivemuslim forums) –

      Use the popular seerah book ‘ When the Moon Split’ (it’s abdriged version of Ar Raheeq al Makthum), so easier to navigate and more colourful. Take each topic and let the children think about the incidents. eg. The incident of Suraqa as mentioned in the article. How does a horse falls? The colour? Seerah becomes real and relevant and yes, sticky (it stays)

  11. Maa Shaa Allah, a very good write up! What appealed to me the most was the fact which was highlighted by Br Dawood that Allah (SWT) gave importance to family life in the Makkan period. The advice of Luqman (ahs) to his son is a great reminder that fathers play a very important role in shaping the personality of the children. Mothers are around most of the time, it is the fathers who need to take more responsibility to ensure a balance and stability in the chidren’s lives.

  12. Asalam to you all,
    This article is very important, “the most expected from father by his children is to LOVE their mother” good quote.
    Jazakumullah khayran.

  13. Thank you Brother Dawood for your reply. I just have a few words of advice for some of the people who made comments. One of the sisters said she is “keeping her fingers crossed”. That is an expression used by christians as a muslims she could have said she is looking forward to more posts In Shaa Allah. Two other people wrote In Shaa Allah together like InshAllah.According to Dr Zakir Naik if you write In Shaa Allah together it means create Allah but if you write it in 3 seperate words ,it means If Allah wills. We should try to learn to write it seperately in 3 words. Salamu alaikum

  14. What would you advise a father who has constantly shown attitude towards his kids,like they are an obstacle, and they are now teenagers? Obviously,the chidren hate this father. How can the father mend his relationship with his teenage children?

    • Perhaps this is true of so many parents. They were busy when the children needed them the most and now they are independent as teens. So this is an SOS situation.

      First, win the trust back. Talk to them with respect. Remember they are big but still dependent on you for financial and more important on emotional support.

      Action: Don’t interfere too much. Give them space. Yet ask them for help. eg. Can you help me buy a new mobile phone or office shoes. Ask for solutions online. Let them feel IMPORTANT AND VALUED

  15. @dawood bhai – problem with such good articles for people like me is the level of patience waiting to read the other 2 chapters grows dramatically.. And we then try to push the author to release next chapter faster.. I hope this puts some pressure on you… The dua for kids and 10 action tips is the best advice I am taking .. U making me love my kids and wife and my parents more.. May Allah give you Ajr Azeema for that, besides helping me to have sabr for waiting for next series.. Ashfaq

    An enlightetening article with great lessons from the quran and the sunnah always express your uniqueness, Br.Dawood,Masha Allah, but I would like to add to the parents’commitment , that the attainment of the parents (or the real parenting)are at the achievements of the children, especially in the best akhlaq of the children, lies the fulfiment of parenting.
    There should be a proverb,”Tell me your child, I’ll tell about you”.
    Jazak Allahu khaira, hoping for more such articles insha Allah.

  17. Jazakallahu khair brother for such a beautiful article. . . Must read for fathers :) we need to learn the beauty of parenting from our great prophets. Looking forward to read part 2.

  18. Brother Dawood,
    Beautiful work but the visual in me wants to see more pictures. I suggest that some if not all examples can be pictorial. The part of the father having a play time with his children, a hobby as gardening.
    Insha Allah more such articles not just for the adults.
    Allah swt make the work you do a baraka for you, your family and the community aameen.

  19. JazakAllah khair brother, as you referred Surah Luqman on parenting, we must understand the role of a father in children’s TABIYAT. As a productive Muslim it’s father’s duty to see how they are dealing with family on the basis of quantity and quality both

    • Among the more popular ones is a game called CONNECT 4. Very good for logical learners (number smart). And I recommend using the board game and not the ones on android or i-market.

      This relatively simple game helps in decision making while also teaching patterns and sequencing.

  20. Alhamdulillah, the brother raises important points; we have so many examples in Quran like Luqman.

    I will be glad if  you cover more ‘quantity time’ and  ‘quality time’ in next post. Waiting for next post and more action plan

  21. Jazakallahu khairan wa ahsanul jaza. Brother Dawud has always been a good role model for all of us. Besides being an excellent teachers trainer, he is also a good father n v hv been a witness to it n so I think v take him more seriously. V need more of such experienced and practising muslims giving us practical tips on parenting. May Allah bless him and his family with success in both the worlds. Ameen Assalamu alaikum.

  22. Assalam alaikum, Alhamdulillah…. good thought provoking article in this fast and busy life, And beautiful hadith from Abu Huraira ,even though a father will make dua for his kids but it’s always mothers to whom kids request to make dua for them.
    JazakAllahu Khair Br. Dawood.

  23. Alhamdulillah!! excellent tips Br Dawood for fathers on how to spend productive time and be the best role models for their children. Looking forward to articles on Parenting for Mothers.

  24. Jazaak Allaha khyair bhai…the points which I find new n in shaa Allaha will effective when implemented is 10 dream point list…it vl make childrens more clear for selecting their goal n father-son relationship exam from Quran are also excellent…vl eagerly waiting for ur next post…

  25. Ma sha Allah, very beautifully written! From a wife’s perspective it is very true that if she is valued, the family life is well balanced and children grow up to be confident responsible adults and this is what the society lacks today. In this mad rush of worldly pursuit we forget the main purpose of marriage..

  26. very well said… Hope it helps many parents to bring up their children as good humans n good muslims inshaAllah…keep up the good work

  27. I would also like to add that the tips are helpful alhamdulillah, but also do address those parents were both are working, 15 mins a day by the father isn’t gonna be of much help,he needs to be more involved and share many other responsibilities n not just expect the wife to look after the house, children, “him” n her work all alone.

  28. Jazakallah hu khair for such precious gems on parenting.each day kids show a different kind of behaviour.We need to keep on learning everyday as to bring out the best in them.many times i feel guilty for a certain kind of behaviour of mine towards my kid and try nt to do tht again.Your parenting tips always come handy and are very useful.Waithing eagerly for part-2.

  29. Quality time with children is more imp…it instills gud results…if a wife has support of maids for her children and has a caring husband,still she too needs her husband’s time despite v busy schedule of her husband otherwise apart from all the facilities she has like maids and everything even maids in kitchen,she ztill needs that loving word from her husband rather than.just listening that she has been provided every facility and thus she should not get depressed.

  30. Masha Allah a really good piece of writing! Brother dawood has given excellent tips for fathers who fail to make time for their children in their busy schedules and think it’s not their job to take care of the children. And it is wonderful how he has brought to light the importance of family life in the sight of Allah.
    I’m not a mother yet but these tips will definitely be useful for my husband when I do become one insha Allah!
    Looking forward to more parenting tips! :)

  31. Masha Allah a ver a
    y insightful article by the brother. As soon as a child is born the entire burden of upbringing and teaching the child falls on the mother. Wherein the father’s expected to be involved only at the financial level of providing for the mother and child…but times have chngd now the father wants to be involved on a more emotional level …the author rightly points out the role of a father from the worldly and Quranic point of view.

  32. Assalamu Allaikum,

    Mashaa ALLAH an excellent aricle . Very helpful and good one too, to make family bondage stronger. My wife is going to be happy when she will see me helping her.